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Don't get too obsessed with comparing between heights and weights of your children! There is a wide range of what is "normal". And what is fine for one child may not be for another based on their individual growth curve. Let the doctor guide you on their size. If they're not worried, you shouldn't be either. I am a small person, so my kids are small. I have a very good friend who is taller and larger boned than I am. Each of her kids are 1 to 1.5 years younger than each of mine. Yet, after infancy each of her kids soon outgrew each of mine of closest age. In other words her 8 year old daughter is bigger and taller than my 10 year old daughter and so on. We all come in different sizes, don't waste time comparing.
Four and you're still spoon-feeding him? Ridiculous! He's either sick, or he's manipulating you. Go get him thoroughly checked out with his pediatrician and if all is well, stop coddling him. Put healthful food in front of him and make him feed himself. If he won't eat, take it away and don't feed him again until the next meal. He'll start to feed himself soon enough.
Have you had him checked for diabetes? I have heard of children that only eat those things and when checked turns out they did have it.
My son was very picky as well, and I used to baby him like you do. One day I got really tired of it and would not let him get up from the table till he at least tried things. Now he eats everything. Sometimes you have to be tough about it. But like the others said he will not starve himself. Also try pediasure for the vitamins and stuff, helped my son gain weight and he stopped getting sick as much.
After you get him to the pediatrician to rule out diabetes or any other physical ailment, I think it's time for a little tough love. It's SO hard to not give in to our kids, but he needs to only be offered healthy things. He WILL eat when he gets hungry enough. I've had battles with both of my kids over food and finally, I just decided, this is it. No more coddling. THIS is what I'm serving and if you eat, fine. If you don't eat, there are no substitutes. If you're hungry later, I'll heat up what you didn't eat earlier. My kids get angry with me, but their health is what I'm concerned about. They DO get treats, but only if they've eaten their healthy food. Tonight, one chose to eat her salad and one chose not to. One got a cookie. One did not and the one who did not said, "I know why I'm not getting dessert. It's ok mommy."
It'll be hard to make the change, but your son will be healthier and you'll feel better about what he's eating when you do. Just make sure he's getting a good multi-vitamin in the meantime! Best of luck!
My son is also 4 and eats very little. I can't, however, imagine spoon feeding him or adding chocolate (I do allow ketchup) to his spoonfuls in order to force him to eat. A child is not going to starve himself, if he is hungry, he will eat. If you only provide HEALTHY foods, that is what he will eat. If you don't spoon feed him, he will choose to eat or go hungry. I don't see the problem. My son is a healthy, active boy, who chooses to forego dinner at least 5 nights a week. He went for his 4 year well visit today and he is a healthy 35 lbs. and 40 inches. Obviously choosing not to eat is not preventing him from growing.
If you make meal times a battle or a power struggle you are just encouraging the behavior. Ignore the problem and he will eat (what you provide) when he is good and hungry.
I was worried, because the only thing my 4 yr old would eat was potato chips...Yes, he's my baby, so did tend to baby him alot more (there is like an 8 yr difference between him and my next to the oldest) so i told his pediatrician...here's what he said...similiar to 2girlsand2boys...
Take the chips away. When you make dinner, do not make anything special for him...if he's hungry he will eat. If I accomodate him, he's got the upper hand and he knows it.
90% of the time children will act the way that they are ALLOWED to act. You let him develop some bad habits - and it's gonna be tough on both of you to "unlearn" him.
Tough love!!
Power struggles are very difficult, and it will be hard to heed others' very good advice at first. The only thing I will add is that this, and any, problem behavior will get worse before it gets better. Be assured that whatever he uses to get to you will be out in force - crying, spitting, pleading, whining, etc etc. And he will do it MORE at first. Stick to your guns, though, and you will see a change.
You're getting good advice here. I also think you should get him a checkup-but if all is well, which is likely-you should quit that spoon feeding right away. He's wayyyy too old for that. Just serve whatever healthy foods you want-either he'll eat, or he'll miss a meal and eat the next one. He won't starve to death.
I have five kids-some were picky and some not. I always served what I felt best, and also never fed ,or forced, anyone to eat. No one starved, the picky ones grew out of it, and all are generally good eaters and of normal weight. I just was not getting into the feeding battle thing.
The way that I avoided the eating battle was - we ate dinner and then if you finished all of your dinner - I never gave "too" much - you got a snack before bed. My oldest was no problem - but my 2nd child was a bugger in this area. She missed snack many a night because she didn't finish dinner. It was hard - I would clean her plate into the trash so that there could be no giving in later. She soon realized that she had to eat what I gave her or she'd be hungry until the next morning. As much as it stinks - no child ever suffered lasting harm from being hungry 1 day.
I have a 4 year old that does the same thing. I have to feed him! BUT have you tried letting him choose what he wants to eat, healthy food of course. I let my son choose and I tell him he has to feed himself. I also have a 3 year old though and he feeds himself and he tends to tease my 4 year old about it.. he calls him a little baby and then he will feed himself a little! Ugh, brothers! But I usually make a dinner and then if hes picky with it he will ask for top ramen... lol
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My son as well
