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My son has been in kindergarten for a week now. His teacher is very strict and regimimented (sp), which I knew beforehand and still decided to put him in that school (there is only one class). However, now he has come home and said that timeouts are spent marching in place while facing the wall! There was nothing in the information about this policy! It did say that the first timeout is 5 minutes and the second timeout is 10 minutes. Red flags are going off like crazy for me on this!
On the otherhand, he likes school. He had a 10 minute timeout today for "being noisy" and said he liked marching (he jogged, he said). I don't want to switch schools because he has two friends in his class and we move soooo much, so I want to keep the switching of schools at a minumum.
Any thoughts on this? Am I over re-acting? I also know that this teacher doesn't like a lot of "parent interference," so I don't know if I should even bring this up. But it does make me mad. Yet, my son could use a strict schedule.
Whether the teacher likes it or not, your son belongs to you, not to her. A timeout for "being noisy"?
I'd ask her for a specific list of rules, and what warrants a timeout. Then look at that, go over it with your son, and decide what to do from there. What is "too noisy"? Is it getting antsy after sitting for a half hour doing worksheets, or is it running around and yelling during storytime?
If she balks and does not have a list, but instead goes on her whim for each incident, then I'd pull him out... a 5-year-old does not need to be subjected to someone on a power trip, who may be more annoyed by certain children than others, and treat them unfairly. Consistency is key, and if she does not see the need, then she should not be teaching kindergarten.
Well, I have to agree with beanandpumpkin. One thing is to know that time-outs are used as a disciplinary tool, but I think you also need to know how often and under what circumstances time-outs are applied. And marching during the time-out? Seriously? Really?
The thing is I think that time-outs is a very easy way out of having actually to work with a child and helping him to improve his behavior. Sometimes time-outs are overused. You are noisy? Time-out. You are not listening? time-out. You get the point. Besides, IMO, 10 minutes is too long of a time-out for being noisy.
I don't know, I wouldn't rush to switch, but if you really feel the need, you should talk to the teacher (and I think you should...I would).
I had the same type of squirmish feelings when my son (who doesn't like any organizational rules, routines, preferred not to listen to teachers in pre-school - just "cat who walks by himself". He's only 3.5 but I have a feeling this will be a struggle throughout his schooling). - when he didn't listen to a swim teacher in the swimming class. He never listens - if it's not one-to-one and 100% attention to him, he just drifts away, disregarding frantic calls of the instructor.
So she puts him in the time-out, sitting on the pool side. He wants to be in the water desperately (to splash and to have fun as only he understands it), so he turns around and looks at me. I thought that for a woman who was trying to keep attention of 6 kids in the water he did cause a lot of stress - so I thought that her discipline was needed and appropriate. I wouldn't interfere, even though I paid for the swimming time, not for the sitting on the side.
My 5yo had a week of "dry run" at school this August, 4 hours each day, and what does she tell me? "They make us sit all the time." Yeah, this is school now. 5 -year-olds don't get it yet, it's like collecting mercury. I personally probably wouldn't interfere into the teacher's methods of making them understand what the school is about. Maybe marching, not just standing, is a bit too much. At this point, I would talk to the teacher to see his point of view - does it get that hard in the classroom that he needs measures that drastic?
My son has been in kindergarten for a week now. His teacher is very strict and regimimented (sp), which I knew beforehand and still decided to put him in that school (there is only one class). However, now he has come home and said that timeouts are spent marching in place while facing the wall! There was nothing in the information about this policy! It did say that the first timeout is 5 minutes and the second timeout is 10 minutes. Red flags are going off like crazy for me on this!
On the otherhand, he likes school. He had a 10 minute timeout today for "being noisy" and said he liked marching (he jogged, he said). I don't want to switch schools because he has two friends in his class and we move soooo much, so I want to keep the switching of schools at a minumum.
Any thoughts on this? Am I over re-acting? I also know that this teacher doesn't like a lot of "parent interference," so I don't know if I should even bring this up. But it does make me mad. Yet, my son could use a strict schedule.
Ugh!!! Parenting is so hard, now add in teachers!
The teacher needs to spend some time (at least six weeks) modeling and teaching the students the rules and how to be a good student. Beginning to punish a student after the first week of school could potentiallly set him up for a lifetime of hating school. Try to go observe the class to see what's happening. If she doesn't want you there, I would be very concerned.
Crazy, I don't think you're over-reacting at all. For me, the first red-flag would have cropped up when I noticed the teacher didn't like "parent interference". Say what??? No no no.
Second red-flag: a kindergarten teacher who's strict and regimented? No no no.
I'm not sure what I would do, but I'd like to think I'd ask for some chat-time with Ms. Strict. I get it that Kindergarten kiddos can be a handful (and perhaps the class is overcrowded, meaning she has more than she can really handle). But perhaps if you express your concerns (without being accusatory, of course), you may be able to make some headway.
(regarding 3.5 year old who won't mind during swimming class...) So she puts him in the time-out, sitting on the pool side. He wants to be in the water desperately (to splash and to have fun as only he understands it), so he turns around and looks at me. I thought that for a woman who was trying to keep attention of 6 kids in the water he did cause a lot of stress - so I thought that her discipline was needed and appropriate. I wouldn't interfere, even though I paid for the swimming time, not for the sitting on the side.
Your situation is a bit more complex than the OP's. A swim teacher can't EVER be distracted from her young charges. If one kid isn't working with her, that child HAS to be out of the pool. The other children's lives may depend on it. I think you were 100% right not to make a fuss over it. Did your little one learn from his mistake? Have you had a chance to explain to him WHY it is important he listen to Ms. Swim Teacher?
Your situation is a bit more complex than the OP's. A swim teacher can't EVER be distracted from her young charges. If one kid isn't working with her, that child HAS to be out of the pool. The other children's lives may depend on it. I think you were 100% right not to make a fuss over it. Did your little one learn from his mistake? Have you had a chance to explain to him WHY it is important he listen to Ms. Swim Teacher?
My kids are not complacent. It's been perennial question for me - why other kids look so complacent in comparison to mine. They are just free spirits. To get trhough with an idea into their heads ("You have to listen to the teacher!") - it will never happen until they grow up into it on their own. At 3-4, my dd was a monkey in her ballet class - a child that jumps crazily around out of boredom. By 5, she grew into listening to teachers due to her sheer curious mind.
The same with my son - you tell him 5,000 times the same thing - he will not get it until he's ready. So when we enroll into recreational things like swimming, I have this in mind and do not have expectations. Just going with the flow. Hoping that, like his sister, he will mature somewhat for school by 5.
Kinda long answer, just wanted to explain why "has he learned" from a single occurence would never happen at this point with us. In another swim class, a male teacher reacted to him differently, sorta "Hey buddy, come on!" - and he listened better. Depends on the teacher, too.
I always thought timeout should only be as many minutes long as the child is in yrs-
5 mins = 5 yrs
and what is up with this marching?? I can barely walk and chew gum...imagine a child having tp think about marching, and NOT WHY he is in time out....time out is for thinking about the reason that put you in timeout!!
beanandpumpkin and photobuff had excellent points
as far as 'strict and regimented' IMO maybe she should be...she is pretty much setting the tone for the child's future. They need to learn early on that education is first and foremost about learning, rules, respect adn all the other important stuff. Sure they can have fun and friends...those are the perks
remember the saying about the teacher shoudl never cracks a smile 'til after Christmas ??
Last edited by crazyma; 08-13-2008 at 08:03 PM..
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