Middle aged men checking out my teenager! (girl, playing, son)
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Believe it or not I used to see women checking out my son starting around his freshman year of HS, maybe a little before that.
He was tall for his age and looked like he could have been in college, in fact he would often be asked which college team he played for because he was built like a football player. We would be in Target shopping and I'd catch a grown woman flirting with him.
I just had to accept that my son looked more mature than he was and I made sure to always know where he was, who he was with and what he was doing. I do think that if I hadn't kept a close eye on him that he would have been vulnerable to being seduced by an older female.
Believe it or not I used to see women checking out my son starting around his freshman year of HS, maybe a little before that.
He was tall for his age and looked like he could have been in college, in fact he would often be asked which college team he played for because he was built like a football player. We would be in Target shopping and I'd catch a grown woman flirting with him.
I just had to accept that my son looked more mature than he was and I made sure to always know where he was, who he was with and what he was doing. I do think that if I hadn't kept a close eye on him that he would have been vulnerable to being seduced by an older female.
Oh, I bet that felt weird!
I had other moms talk about how “cute” my son it, and I think he’s attractive to his peers, but nobody older has seemed interested in him. I can’t imagine!
I actually hadn’t anticipated as much of this as is happening. She’s got older siblings, and interest from people too old never came up. She’s really pretty, so I think it’s more than what is typical.
My suggestion would be modest dress. As long as men are breathing, they're going to watch attractive females.
Nope. We need to teach boys it’s up to them to control themselves. Women are not responsible for making men behave. Telling young women it is sends the message that anything bad that a man does to her is somehow her fault. Blaming the victim mentality is toxic.
The "boys will be boys" attitude is responsible for this. Men are totally responsible for their behavior, good or bad, Just as all adults are.
You don't want your daughter to dress in a "come on" manner that invites scummy men to leer, or worse, but she should be free to dress like a normal teenager like all the other girls, without fear of being blamed for dirty old men looking at her. In instances of sexual attacks, it's a known fact that the manner of dress of the victim female is inconsequential. The fact is it doesn't matter what a woman wears, if a man decides he wants to look at her, leer, or anything else. Some men even like the "virginal" look of a young woman covered from neck to knees. You can't live your life trying to dress according to what a stranger in a department store thinks.
The most you can do is be sure she is protected and safe due to information and education she gets on how to live a safe life. It's a fact of women's lives that we are targeted throughout our lives by male criminals, particularly young women. But no age is completely safe. And a man of any age can be considered dangerous, under the right conditions. Women, particularly young women, always need to be aware of their surroundings, and who is in the area with them. Who is walking behind them, passing them on the sidewalk, entering a secluded parking garage behind them, hanging outside their apartment building, how to handle comments to her by strange men. She needs to be schooled on who she opens the door for in her own apartment, never to fall for the "I'm the maintenance man" routine, etc. All these scary incidents start with a look by a strange man, whether she notices him looking or not.
On the upside, being attractive is a good thing. TV is full of actresses and newscasters who are attractive. jobs open up for attractive people, and stats show that attractive people get paid more. if she makes good grades and has a goal in life, her good looks can help her, as long as that's not her identity of who she is. Because in the end, that's not what makes for a happy person or happy life. A man's good looks help him get paid more, as well...and he gets stared at, too.
I agree with the above. Be age-appropriately honest about the threat posed by men. It’s not a comfortable conversation to have with your daughter, but that’s part of being a dad (or mom).
I think there’s not much to be done if you are walking by a creeper and he watches you go by. It’s a different story if he follows your daughter, or goes out of his way to creep on children.
Like other social ills, behaving like a creeper gets normalized online these days. It is up to us to de-normalize it in real life. Let them know that we are watching them, we know who they are, the community is judging them, and that their behavior is shameful and needs to stop.
You don’t need to be aggressive or offensive, especially if the creeper could be physically dangerous to you. You can stand between your daughter and the creep. You can start filming him. You can make “polite” inquiries like: “Tell me your name, please.” If he asks why, you can say: “So I can tell my friends who you are.”
I’ve blocked gross guys from using a shared entrance where child gymnasts congregate. When he asked me to let him through, I said: “You can tell me your name, and I’ll take your picture to share with the other parents, or you can use the front entrance like everyone else.”
Well, in all honesty.....how do you know what they are thinking? It's like me, if others knew, watching a VS fashion video each morning to get my morning cheerleader charge. "Why, she must be a lesbian!"....and what I see is entirely different.
So while defending your daughter is natural......make sure you are defending for the right cause.
I'm often amazed and what parents let their teenage daughters wear.
I mean, I've seen 16ish year old girls with mom or dad in tow, and the girl is wearing like a low cut top totally showing tons of cleavage.
Or ridiculous daisy dukes.
I mean, of course guys are going to look.
That said, a teenager with a really nice body just jogging, that would catch my eye too. Just how it is...
I will say, if I had a daughter it'd likely be different
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