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I am 30 years old and my husband is 33 we have been married for almost 10 years and have a 6 year old son. On my husbands side there are 5 kids on my side there are 6 kids. We are both from big families. When we married we said we wanted 3 kids. We went through a rough patch and decided about 2 years ago we wanted to try to have another one (at least I did). We have been trying for about 2 years with no protection and have been unsuccessful and it is tearing me apart. I finally decided to go to the Dr. to see what is going on. All my tests came back perfect so now it is his turn to get checked out, and it is like pulling teeth to get him to go. I am having a really hard time with this because I think he just doesn't want to have another child. He has high blood pressure so he has been on a medication that is known to decrease one's sexual drive. I do not know how to deal with this and it's tearing me up inside. I want my son to have a sibling and not grow up alone.
You should see a couples therapist to figure this out.
Just file for divorce. He won't change, it is an abusive control issue. Leave because he is a pig you can't stand who is controlling your life. Sure, you may never marry again, or have any other children, but at least you won't be with an a$$hole any longer.
Just file for divorce. He won't change, it is an abusive control issue. Leave because he is a pig you can't stand who is controlling your life. Sure, you may never marry again, or have any other children, but at least you won't be with an a$$hole any longer.
Are you talking to the OP who posted 3 years ago, or to the new poster from today. Either way I expect a little more objectivity from a moderator.
Just file for divorce. He won't change, it is an abusive control issue. Leave because he is a pig you can't stand who is controlling your life. Sure, you may never marry again, or have any other children, but at least you won't be with an a$$hole any longer.
And YOU are the moderator? I sense this subject hits a nerve with you. Hope the new poster doesn't pay attention to your nonsense.
I am 30 years old and my husband is 33 we have been married for almost 10 years and have a 6 year old son. On my husbands side there are 5 kids on my side there are 6 kids. We are both from big families. When we married we said we wanted 3 kids. We went through a rough patch and decided about 2 years ago we wanted to try to have another one (at least I did). We have been trying for about 2 years with no protection and have been unsuccessful and it is tearing me apart. I finally decided to go to the Dr. to see what is going on. All my tests came back perfect so now it is his turn to get checked out, and it is like pulling teeth to get him to go. I am having a really hard time with this because I think he just doesn't want to have another child. He has high blood pressure so he has been on a medication that is known to decrease one's sexual drive. I do not know how to deal with this and it's tearing me up inside. I want my son to have a sibling and not grow up alone.
Did the doctor you saw explain the test for your husband to you? It is not invasive at all. My husband was tested when we had a period of unexplained infertility. There is a window of time when the sperm sample is still considered viable. We lived close enough to the doctor's office that he could produce the sample at home and then drop it off at the office approx 40 minutes away.
He tested out fine, and I eventually got pregnant using Clomid.
Men are much more squeamish about this stuff than we are, but honestly, the testing required is a breeze for them. Maybe he just needs to hear what's involved.
Objectivity? I stated my opinion, without attacking anyone.
Some things are not going to get resolved. A child is one of them. One person loses. Why stay in a marriage woth someone who has changed all the plans, without caring about the partners feelings? All the marriage counseling in the world would not resolve this. The OP should not waste time, money, or energy in a relationship with this person. Don't call a marriage therapist, call an attorney.
Objectivity? I stated my opinion, without attacking anyone.
Some things are not going to get resolved. A child is one of them. One person loses. Why stay in a marriage woth someone who has changed all the plans, without caring about the partners feelings? All the marriage counseling in the world would not resolve this. The OP should not waste time, money, or energy in a relationship with this person. Don't call a marriage therapist, call an attorney.
Sorry if the truth is offensive.
It doesn't sound like the poster is even sure that her husband doesn't want another child. It doesn't sound like he's come out and said that. He just hasn't agreed to go to the doc to get tested. I think calling the divorce lawyer is a tad premature.
Just file for divorce. He won't change, it is an abusive control issue. Leave because he is a pig you can't stand who is controlling your life. Sure, you may never marry again, or have any other children, but at least you won't be with an a$$hole any longer.
Jasper - are you responding to the OP (pugluv post #1 - which is from three and a half years ago) or to hurt99 (post #150)? If the former, and given your own experience, your post makes some sense. If the latter, your response seems more than harsh given the info and background hurt99 provided.
Hurt99 - I agree with Mattie. Research the testing procedures for your husband and try to discuss them with him. He may not be so antsy if he understands how the testing will work.
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I expect a little more objectivity from a moderator.
