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Okay... here we go again. I will try and be serious with this one.
We, as a society, have become so worried about "damaging" our kids, we forget that these are children.... who need dicipline.
Parents are told don't spank, use time out, talk to your toddler. These are great in theory. What ends up happening is the parents use all the "acceptable" forms of dicipline, but are inconsistant, the parent looses their patience and pops a hiney.... it works. The parent feels bad. The cycle starts over... each time ending with a spanking that is a little more frantic than the previous one because the parent has to overcome their guilt. It isn't the spanking that is the problem here... it is the parent's inconsistancy with dicipline.
Spank, don't spank.... that is up to you. BUT be consistant in whatever you do. BE A PARENT! Teach your children to think for themselves and that their actions have consequences.
You gotta pull those boots on .
For some reason, people equate a spanking with violence and abuse. Not so. A spanking serves very well when 1) you need a child's attention and they are out of control, and 2) they need to understand there is pain involved when they do something REALLY unacceptable.
Spanking isn't a violent act against a child such as a beating. It isn't done by an out of control parent who starts beating on a kid and not knowing the extent their rage goes to.
A good swat on the behind serves it's purpose efficiently. Kids who are on the young side CANNOT REASON. All the talk in the world will not make a toddler understand why we don't pull Sissy's hair, or take away a toy and whack a playmate over the head with it, and so on. KID'S BRAINS ARE NOT DEVELOPED ENOUGH TO TAKE IN ALL THAT TALK AND PROCESS IT. Even kids 5, 6, and 7 cannot process when an adult does nothing but talk. There is only so much talk a kid can take.
And when you think about it, too much negative talk (Junior, you know how bad it is to hurt Sissy) makes the kid's self esteem plummet. When a young kid is over-talked and is not capable of understanding anything except they are being bad, what do they start thinking about themselves? THEY'RE BAD.
A quick swat on the behind and a stern 'No', redirects their attention and they get the message what they did was not so cool because it's startling (notice I didn't say 'hurts') when they do that and get that swat.
I'd rather embarrass kids with a swat on the butt, than to lower their self esteem with so much talk that they think they are bad people.
People don't spank to hurt, they spank to reprimand in a quick, concise way that it gets the message to the kid that certain behavior isn't acceptable. After a swat, kids don't have to go and think about how bad they are, they simply go about their business, redirected, knowing that should they display that same behavior again, they will get a spanking again.
My father didn't say too much, he just took off his belt. We knew.
As far as the sexual deviance that supposedly is rooted in spanking.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ALL of us past the age of when people decided that spanking shouldn't be, would be sexual deviants. A family of 5 kids who were all spanked and NONE turned out to be sexually obsessed or deviant would prove that theory wrong anyway. Out of all the kids I went to elementary school with, and my guess is that every one of them was spanked at one time or another, I don't know even one sexually obsessed or deviant person in the lot.
I'd rather embarrass kids with a swat on the butt, than to lower their self esteem with so much talk that they think they are bad people.
People don't spank to hurt, they spank to reprimand in a quick, concise way that it gets the message to the kid that certain behavior isn't acceptable. After a swat, kids don't have to go and think about how bad they are, they simply go about their business, redirected, knowing that should they display that same behavior again, they will get a spanking again.
My father didn't say too much, he just took off his belt. We knew.
Stormy, I usually agree with a lot of what you post, however, unfortunately, a lot of parents do spank to hurt. Otherwise, what is the child going to care if you tap them on the bottom?
Spanking your child does very much lower their self esteem.
What happens when that child becomes a teen and outweighs you and no longer fears a spanking? How has he learned self control and respect for rules? He has learned it's ok to hit when he doesn't get a desired behavior from someone. Talk about wayward teens...
I will agree an occasional spanking may be necessary. I don't use "occasional" lightly. Spanking as a primary means of discipline is detrimental to your child.
Sexually deviant behavior from spanking? That's a little too far fetched for me.
Stormy, I usually agree with a lot of what you post, however, unfortunately, a lot of parents do spank to hurt. Otherwise, what is the child going to care if you tap them on the bottom?
Spanking your child does very much lower their self esteem.
What happens when that child becomes a teen and outweighs you and no longer fears a spanking? How has he learned self control and respect for rules? He has learned it's ok to hit when he doesn't get a desired behavior from someone. Talk about wayward teens...
I will agree an occasional spanking may be necessary. I don't use "occasional" lightly. Spanking as a primary means of discipline is detrimental to your child.
Sexually deviant behavior from spanking? That's a little too far fetched for me.
First, the sexually deviant behavior is what that article was about. I, too, think it's far fetched.
Second, I have never spanked to hurt. And when it becomes the primary means, it also, loses impact. When brain development is to the point that rationalization is possible, then spanking isn't so needed.
When kids get to the age where talking is effective, then incorporating talk sends a more efficient message than when they only hear they are bad, bad, bad because they don't fully understand all the extra words used.
When kids get to the age where talking is effective, then incorporating talk sends a more efficient message than when they only hear they are bad, bad, bad because they don't fully understand all the extra words used.
What do you think that age is?
What are you talking about "hearing they are bad, bad, bad"?
HAHAHAH!! Have they ever done a study to see if spanking a child will lead to better behavior?
My dad and mom spanked all 4 of us, my brother and two sisters. we are all in our 40's now, all have great jobs and great families. I would have to say I am glad my parents spanked me because in a way it probably helped make me a better person. I very rarely spank my kids, but once in a while you just have to...thats all there is to it. Now the kids who get beat down for every little tiny thing.... I'm sure they will go on to be pretty screwed up. Spank your kids people! Just make sure its needed, and you dont go overboard. Your kids will thank you for it later.
HAHAHAH!! Have they ever done a study to see if spanking a child will lead to better behavior?
Of course not, because that wouldn't support their touchy-feely agenda. It's much easier to make up data and throw it out as "truth."
Quote:
I would have to say I am glad my parents spanked me because in a way it probably helped make me a better person.
I have talked to people about this numerous times and I hear this almost unanimously from those spanked - yet funny, not once have I heard "my parents spoiled me rotten and I'm so glad, I'm a better person for it."
The problem w/the whole topic is common sense has to come into play, and nowdays common sense is absolutely detested. eg it's not a question of spank or don't, but taking all the circumstances into account and not just if you should but when and how (etc etc).
If you only knew how many people who weren't spanked growing up are "deviant". So what does that say? These studies are the silliest of the silly. I would never hurt my child, but sometimes a spanking is warranted. Some children it may have no effect on, others, the mere warning will grab attention.
I would ask in a new thread but the Mods would frown, but why would spanking as an adult be deviant? it produces endorphines...its not like S&M and most definitly has nothing to do with childhood...everybody likes something and as long as it doesnt break a law, or affect ones daily life, then whats the harm? This is part of whats wrong with todays society IMHO. everyone wants tp push their beliefs on everybody else. For eons, parents and schools have spanked and this world has turned just fine. Its been within the last 20 years that our society has become repulsive and left us all with no shock value.
I would ask in a new thread but the Mods would frown, but why would spanking as an adult be deviant? it produces endorphines...its not like S&M and most definitly has nothing to do with childhood...everybody likes something and as long as it doesnt break a law, or affect ones daily life, then whats the harm?
No harm as far as I am concerned...consenting adults should be able to spank each other all they want.
It is adults spanking children that I'm against. I've read all the literature, reviewed all the arguments pro and con, and I'm totally against it.
Intelligent people can disagree with each other when it comes to topics such as religion, politics, and child rearing practices.
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It's much easier to make up data and throw it out as "truth."
