origins of yes, m'am, and yes sir? (classes, five year old, grandpa)
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I was definitely expected to address everyone with sir and ma'am, and still do it to this day. Even have a response when someone says, "Oh, please, don't call me sir/ma'am" - my answer: "Sir/ma'am, if my mother heard me talking to you and not using my manners, I'd be in serious trouble!" And that's the truth. Mom would get me, big time.
I do not require my child to use sir/ma'am at home, but when she's out of the house, or dealing with guests in our home, she absolutely is expected to use her manners. She is also not allowed to call adults (unless they are family or good friends) by their first names - it's "Miss" or "Mister" and then their name.
I do not, however, answer to "huh", "what", or anything similar. A "yes" or "no" is expected.
It was never required with my minor years. I called everybody by their first name, regardless of age. Ironic how my brother and I were considered the most respectful kids in the neighborhood. I guess it's because saying a words that are widely accepted as respectful doesn't necessarily mean you respect the person you're addressing with that title. Not to mention, many don't like to feel old.
Your "minor years"? How old are you now?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Haaziq
I was born in Indiana and raised in Ohio. I just moved back to Indiana last year. I'm only staying here until the summer. That's when I'm leaving for college.
Oh and just for future reference it's two a's not two z's.
It's a miracle that's the only thing I missed with your name.
Originally Posted by Haaziq
I was born in Indiana and raised in Ohio. I just moved back to Indiana last year. I'm only staying here until the summer. That's when I'm leaving for college.
Hate it & it gives me the creeps to hear a child say it to me. I don't like a societal model of people being subservient to others and these phrases make me picture that.
I live in New England and have mixed feelings about it.
'Sir and madam/ma'am' sound antiquated and Victorian to my ear and don't fit well with modern, less formal spoken English. However, now that I'm an elder person, I admit it bothers me to be called by my first name by a much younger person at a bank or business. I would prefer Mr So-and-so, unless they're my age peer or know me well.
My wife is black and teaches at a very multi-racial school where the students must call her "Miss" or "Miss So-and-so." I think she's a little amused by it, but likes it. At her previous school, which was rural and not multi-racial, they refused to call her any name directly to her face, except to use the n****r word under their breath, or out the car window driving by our house.
I grew up saying 'Please, Thank you, and You're welcome,' and still do. But I don't ever call people by their name or any other designation unless I have a personal relationship with them already. The world has changed since I was young and I won't give anything up anymore unless I get it first.
Well...let me be careful. I am not against m'am or sir. I said I'd like to know the origins of it in the English Language here in America. As is obvious from posters, this is a custom, particularly in the military and southern regions of America. It has it's origins somewhere, it sprang from some place and ideology...that addressing others in command with m'am, and sir.
I have thought that it originated with M'am short for Madame, and sir short for Master as in Old English.
I must be honest and say that I taught for 14 years in the south and did not require my students to answer with "yes, m'am..." they seemed to get confused by this, as I insisted that the WORD yes be the answer or no Mrs. or Ms._______ as I am who he/she were addressing. My point is that this is a show of respect and not a genuine display of respect. Are children to demonstrate respect with this custom or are adults to earn respect as to how they interact with children...i.e. show respect to the child, thereby, teaching respect? For me, m'am, and sir automatically indicates passive:subsrvient role versus the earning of respect by "look what I do to demonstrate my respect for you." I am not attacking anyone's customs, I am simply questioning as perhaps with Louisiana who were attempting a few years ago to mandate requiring students to address ALL DISTRICT PERSONNEL as m'am and sir or they would be faced with infractions. How time wasting is this? If my student addresses me as m'am does that mean he respects me? No. Does that means he will not rob or murder me in 5 years? How do I earn his respect? Doesn't this let me off the hook and put him on the hook..ONLY?
Even if the parents don't require the use of yes ma'am/no sir, many of the teachers down here in Texas will. I never instructed my son to use it (much to the dismay of relatives, other parents, teachers, etc. who I'm sure consider me a bad parent because of it) but he has to use it at school with the teachers that require it or he gets in trouble with them.
I tend to still use it at work in the legal field and out in the world however. My son hears me say it, but he never picked it up on his own. He only uses it on demand.
I think it's more of a southern thing. We weretaught to say, Yes Mrs. Smith. Funny thing was if we didn't know a kids last name, we'd address Kathy's mom as, Mrs. Kathy's mother!
It's a miracle that's the only thing I missed with your name.
Indiana, eh? Ohio, too?
Huh. Go figure.
I'm 17 turning 18 not too long from now. I don't consider that a minor. I can go to R movies, lol.
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