Step mother offered to pay for my step daughter to have a tattoo for 18th bday!
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Judging someone because they have a Tattoo says more about YOU than it does the person with the Tattoo..
Keep deluding yourself. In the example I gave, the woman used to be the receptionist for her husband's eye practice, and it was one of the reasons why I didn't go back. Her husband's practice went down the tubes and now she works for the franchise place I go to, which absorbed his clients.
I do not need to defend myself, or my sensibilities to you. The truth hurts, and the truth is, you are judged by others and you will suffer the consequences of those judgments.
Keep deluding yourself. In the example I gave, the woman used to be the receptionist for her husband's eye practice, and it was one of the reasons why I didn't go back. Her husband's practice went down the tubes and now she works for the franchise place I go to, which absorbed his clients.
I do not need to defend myself, or my sensibilities to you. The truth hurts, and the truth is, you are judged by others and you will suffer the consequences of those judgments.
Then I dare say one would not want your business to begin with.
Try to reason with her. Tattoos are permanent, and tastes are transient, which is why they are such a stupid idea. Then explain to her that even though she will be 18, a decision to get a tattoo against your wishes is a clear statement that she is independent of you. So no financial support from you whatsoever. No car. No money. If she has a job, paycheck goes to you to cover room and board. She can live at home in a room with a twin bed on the floor and nothing else until high school graduation, and then out she goes. If she is adult enough to make the decision to defy you, she can support herself. And she is always welcome to come for sunday dinner.
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Originally Posted by Book Lover 21
There is a serious generational divide on this.
EVERY SINGLE person in my office under 30 has a tattoo. Even the ones you would never guess that they would be the tattoo "type". This is a professional financial services office too. Now, you can't see them when they are dressed professionally, but they all have them.
I happen to agree with this. When I was growing up, having a tattoo meant that you were a "certain kind of person". Perhaps a biker, a groupie, a greaser, spent some time behind bars - you get the idea.
My son attends a small liberal arts college in New England that is very competitive academically. I would say that 3/4s of the students have at least one tattoo. My son is among them.
With that said, there is a difference between a tattoo on one's neck or face - or one that is visible all of the time. There are creative and artistic ones, and there are others that still look a tad trashy.
My son has one on his upper left arm. It doesn't look bad.
Once someone turns 18, there is not much that can be done. He was a good student, has always worked - and he was getting a tattoo. I suspect the OP's step daughter is going to do the same - one way or another.
We spoke about inappropriate tattoos, tattoo addiction, and the advantages pf having one that can be hidden on some occasions. We agreed.
That was almost 2 1/2 years. He did not get any others and I've come to like it.Or at least accept it.
Parents have to chose their battles. They are very common with the under 30 crowd and I suspect that is not changing anytime soon.
Yeah, so I'm in my mid-30's. From whence I came, tattoos were for bikers and prostitutes. Now every damn kid has to have one. It seems like a fad. Unfortunately you can't just take it off like a pair of baggy jeans from the 90's or those even more dreadful skinny jeans.
You sound way older than mid-30's. Where you came from is wrong and close-minded. The step-daughter is 18 and an adult and can get ink if she wants it. I doubt OP would be raising such a stink if one of her friends offered to help her pay for the tattoo.
Last night my wife told me that our daughter's (my step daughter) step mother told her she would foot the bill for her to have a tattoo on her 18th birthday.
Small amount of background: We live in a different state and their relationship is over the Internet because she sees them all of once or twice a year. Her dad is almost not even in the relationship picture.
No kidding, I don't like it. Like I said, "bikers and prostitutes".
For my sister it was criminals. All you need is one data point to crush that. I have never committed a crime in my life. Nor have I been a biker or a prostitute.
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And yes she wants one.
But why should that just happen because it's what she wants...
Because she is 18 and has the legal right to choose for herself.
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.....while I pretty much pay for her existence? (Roof, Food, clothing, truck, gas, auto insurance, health insurance, dental, cell phone, cable, Internet, etc, etc, etc.)
You have the legal right, at that time, to make a different choice.
Tough crowd. Why don't we take "steps" out of the equation? Really, what does it matter? OP's daughter wants a tat at 18, he has a problem with it, period. Doesn't matter who's paying for it, he doesn't like them or wants her to make that decision when she grown and out on her own.
OP, you ARE her dad, as much as my son is my grand daughters dad. He's raised her since she was two and she's 16 now. We got lucky and her sperm donor gave up his rights, but he still tries to make her come to the dark side. My son adopted her, but she's as much ours as the "real" grand child. I even forget and tell her things about our blood line she'll need to know. She just laughs and reminds me she's not blood related.
I honesty feel no different about her than the other grand. Sometimes she's even my favorite! This issue is about kids getting tats before they can make an informed decision. I have no problem with tats, but think 18 is to young. What if kids at 15 were allowed, and had to forever have Justin Bieber on their arm? IMO, what I'd do is show her every story you can find about how people wish they'd waited. Who and what she loves at 18, will most definitely change by 25 or 30. Other wise, there'd be a lot of old ladies with Bobby Sherman, David Cassidy and Groovy on their bodies.
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Why don't we take "steps" out of the equation? Really, what does it matter? OP's daughter wants a tat at 18, he has a problem with it, period. Doesn't matter who's paying for it, he doesn't like them or wants her to make that decision when she grown and out on her own.
This issue is about kids getting tats before they can make an informed decision. I have no problem with tats, but think 18 is to young. What if kids at 15 were allowed, and had to forever have Justin Bieber on their arm? 
IMO, what I'd do is show her every story you can find about how people wish they'd waited. Who and what she loves at 18, will most definitely change by 25 or 30. Other wise, there'd be a lot of old ladies with Bobby Sherman, David Cassidy and Groovy on their bodies. 
