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My daughter went to dad first thing this morning putting him on the spot (because she was doing facetime with this friend), and asked to go on a playdate with her at her house.
He said no.
Then, about 2 hours later she sucked me into this playdate by putting me on the spot when we were on our way out to go shopping.
So, she goes to this friends house, I go shopping by myself, and then I go pick her up and the first thing she tells me is how she went biking to some store about a mile away with this friend! I tried to stay calm, until we left because this could have turned ugly...
Now, in the car she tells me this girls grandparents went with them....
Here's the problem:
1. Neither myself or my husband were thrilled with this today; he already said no once, but forgot to tell me since he didn't think she was going to come to me with it.
2. I never meet these "grandparents". Not once, I have no idea what they look like, how old they are, and how "bike safe" they are, I only meet the mother, and her father is obtuse at best; he never says "hello", or make chit chat. He's really weird...
3. She knows she's not allowed to go out to other places when on playdates, let alone biking; we live in FL, no bike lanes, and drivers are not used to see people walking or bikers. She hasn't biked in at least 7 months....
4. She's 10, not 15 or older...did not have a phone with her either; I usually give her my spare phone when she goes on school trips etc.; today did not have a phone since I didn't expect this at all. I thought they were playing nice at her house!
5. She knows I text with her mom, and she didn't text me to at least let me know she'll be out wondering with people I never meet.
6. NO, we are not close with these people; her best friend moved away, and she's been seeing this girl once in a while type thing. She is an only child and VERY spoiled/gets away with everything type. I don't raise my kids like that.
7. My husband decided to throw a temper tantrum at me because I grounded her! He's a jerk, and seems to think we live in the 70's still! He does not parent these kids at all...all he does is yell, and ignore everyone so he can play games on his ipad!
I can't even figure out who you're angry with. Your daughter? Why? Because she played one parent against the other or because she took a bike ride with her friend and the friend's grandparents? I see nothing wrong with that bike ride. Adults were along with the kids.
If you have so many reservations about this other family, why didn't you check out the plans before letting your daughter go?
My daughter went to dad first thing this morning putting him on the spot (because she was doing facetime with this friend), and asked to go on a playdate with her at her house.
He said no.
Then, about 2 hours later she sucked me into this playdate by putting me on the spot when we were on our way out to go shopping.
So, she goes to this friends house, I go shopping by myself, and then I go pick her up and the first thing she tells me is how she went biking to some store about a mile away with this friend! I tried to stay calm, until we left because this could have turned ugly...
Now, in the car she tells me this girls grandparents went with them....
Here's the problem:
1. Neither myself or my husband were thrilled with this today; he already said no once, but forgot to tell me since he didn't think she was going to come to me with it.
2. I never meet these "grandparents". Not once, I have no idea what they look like, how old they are, and how "bike safe" they are, I only meet the mother, and her father is obtuse at best; he never says "hello", or make chit chat. He's really weird...
3. She knows she's not allowed to go out to other places when on playdates, let alone biking; we live in FL, no bike lanes, and drivers are not used to see people walking or bikers. She hasn't biked in at least 7 months....
4. She's 10, not 15 or older...did not have a phone with her either; I usually give her my spare phone when she goes on school trips etc.; today did not have a phone since I didn't expect this at all. I thought they were playing nice at her house!
5. She knows I text with her mom, and she didn't text me to at least let me know she'll be out wondering with people I never meet.
6. NO, we are not close with these people; her best friend moved away, and she's been seeing this girl once in a while type thing. She is an only child and VERY spoiled/gets away with everything type. I don't raise my kids like that.
7. My husband decided to throw a temper tantrum at me because I grounded her! He's a jerk, and seems to think we live in the 70's still! He does not parent these kids at all...all he does is yell, and ignore everyone so he can play games on his ipad!
So how "OK" is this with y'all?
What exactly is the problem? I really don't see a problem with a 10 year old going for a bike ride with a friend's family. Mad because of the phone thing? Really? Most 10 year olds don't have a phone of them. The only child dig? Get the heck over yourself. This girl may be spoiled...but it's not because of her being an only.
I think you are a bit of a jerk to ground your daughter for that to be honest. You have some major league separation anxiety at the very least and control issues to boot. Get help for that or you are in for a long rest of your children's childhood.
Ya, I'm confused. If you didn't want her to go, why'd you let her? Did you specify ahead of time that they were to stay at the house, not go anywhere? You were ok with letting her go over to this house where you didn't know the parents or grand parents very well, but you weren't ok with them going on a bike ride?
You left your child in the care of another family and they did what they thought was acceptable. I think you are upset with yourself for allowing her to go when you weren't totally comfortable, and/or not checking with your husband first. Don't take it our on your daughter.
As a general rule, my kids are expected to call or text me if they are going somewhere other than where I expect them to be. Other than that, I wouldn't leave them at someone's house if I didn't trust the judgement of the adults in charge.
Just curious, did you know that your husband already said no to the play date?
This wasn't the first time the girls had play dates: the girl came over to out house too; but I never met the rest of her family...nor was there any talk about going places! When kids come to me I don't let them go elsewhere unless we plan and let everyone know! Common sense!
So you are ok with your kids going out places with people you never met?
That's the problem; why should I be ok with her going out with strangers?
You said you knew the parents....so your scared of a bike ride with the evil grandparents?
No, I would not have a problem with what your daughter did. I know for a fact that at least once my daughter was at a friend's house and a grandparent arrived and offered to take the kids for ice cream. I didn't have a problem with it then....wouldn't have a problem with it now.
As a general rule, my kids are expected to call or text me if they are going somewhere other than where I expect them to be. Other than that, I wouldn't leave them at someone's house if I didn't trust the judgement of the adults in charge.
Just curious, did you know that your husband already said no to the play date?
No I didn't; I said that above in the OP. It seemed like a spur of the moment thing; nothing complicated...I expect the same thing, I expect a phone call and/or a text to let me know if they're going somewhere!
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