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The thing that troubles me about this is that you allow your daughter to go on "play dates" to a home where you don't trust the adults to make good decisions. Also, you said that their daughter came over to your house, but you haven't met the rest of the family. WHAT? Have you met the parents? How do you know there aren't older teen brothers in the house, or a creepy old uncle living with them, or an alcoholic, drug addict, etc etc etc. Once your child is behind closed doors, you have no idea who she is exposed to, or what is going on in that house. Yet your biggest concern is that she went on a bike ride with grandparents kind enough to invite the kids on an outing.
You need to get your thinking adjusted. Also, go over there an meet those parents...chat them up and get to know them.
The thing that troubles me about this is that you allow your daughter to go on "play dates" to a home where you don't trust the adults to make good decisions. Also, you said that their daughter came over to your house, but you haven't met the rest of the family. WHAT? Have you met the parents? How do you know there aren't older teen brothers in the house, or a creepy old uncle living with them, or an alcoholic, drug addict, etc etc etc. Once your child is behind closed doors, you have no idea who she is exposed to, or what is going on in that house. Yet your biggest concern is that she went on a bike ride with grandparents kind enough to invite the kids on an outing.
You need to get your thinking adjusted. Also, go over there an meet those parents...chat them up and get to know them.
Are you saying you wouldn't let your child visit a home where the child had older teen brothers? That is so sad.
Ok, as a matter of fact, we do know a bit about parenting. Dad said know, you said yes. Kid played you against one another. Standard kid action which you should have expected. We learned by the time I kids could form complete sentences to see if they asked mom/dad already. You'll probably be surprised how often she has done this to you.
Dad is not to blame here, even though you have accused him and several posters have tried to make him the fall guy. Thing is, you agreed for her to visit the other girl, so there is an implication those adults have charge and make decisions while she is in their care.
You are headed for some stressful times in a couple of years if this causes you this much consternation. They're going to want to do more things, go more places, drive cars. You need to teach them to make good decisions and then trust their decisions. When DD was 15 she had a soccer game out of town. Unfortunately my wife had to fly out the same day so DD got a ride with a teammate, we gave her our credit card and told her to get a room for herself that night. She successfully took care of herself on that trip. When DS was 14 he asked to stay home by himself for a weekend while we took DD to another soccer tourney. Successfully took care of himself and built a computer while we were out.
Give them good information and let them make small decisions, growing toward larger ones as they learn. Your daughter played you off one another (bad) but she successfully did something, with other adults around, that let her gain some confidence and independence for herself. You need to build and encourage smart decision making, not destroy it.
I'm a big believer in the scouting programs. They are designed to teach children self confidence and decision making skills by letting them make small decisions and fail in a safe environment so they can learn to make smart decisions later. If not already, I encourage you to enroll your daughter in Girl Scouts and watch her grow.
If I was ok with the parents of my kids friends, then there was a reason for it. I trusted them, and their judgement. Obviously, you don't feel the same way about your daughter's friends parents, because I don't see what the big deal is here. And if you don't, you shouldn't have let her go.
It sounds as though there is a lot of marital tension in your house, which is a terrible situation for a child. She was probably better off spending the day with indulgent grandparents than listening to her parents argue.
I agree with this. According to you, your husband is a jerk, so you grounded your kid.
. But I am glad to see that y'all don't understand parenting enough to actually see what was wrong with this picture. No wonder kids in America have gone berserk and get in all sorts of trouble.
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You asked for opinions. When most of those opinions disagree with you, it might be worthwhile to at least consider what they are saying. Many posters who posted are parents of adult children - none of whom has gone berserk and gotten in all sorts of trouble.
Dad said no first because he was half asleep and she put the ipad with the girl on facetime in his face! I am not sure who wants to wake up like that!
Blaming me for this is ridiculous and insulting.
She's been there before, and leaving her home to go elsewhere never happened! I had no way of knowing this was going to happen.
I only speak to her mom normally; her dad is completely antisocial, but he is also never around...
The point was that while she was there, she went out on a bike trip to some store with two grandparents I've never met. She did not have her phone with her, she did not text me like she was supposed to, so I don't think it behavior was OK. But I am glad to see that y'all don't understand parenting enough to actually see what was wrong with this picture. No wonder kids in America have gone berserk and get in all sorts of trouble.
MOD: Please close this thread! Thank you.
Who are you upset with?
You for not giving your daughter the spare phone so she could text you?
Or, you daughter for thinking you trusted her enough to use good judgement, which she did?
As the adult, you have a part in this. You placed her in the company of safe adults.
First you did not give your daughter the spare phone in order to text you.
You trusted her judgement in an unknown situation.
Your child used good judgment, and had a great time.
Sounds like a kid having a great time and a parent letting go of the parental strings with a good outcome.
Dad said no first because he was half asleep and she put the ipad with the girl on facetime in his face! I am not sure who wants to wake up like that!
Blaming me for this is ridiculous and insulting.
She's been there before, and leaving her home to go elsewhere never happened! I had no way of knowing this was going to happen.
I only speak to her mom normally; her dad is completely antisocial, but he is also never around...
The point was that while she was there, she went out on a bike trip to some store with two grandparents I've never met. She did not have her phone with her, she did not text me like she was supposed to, so I don't think it behavior was OK. But I am glad to see that y'all don't understand parenting enough to actually see what was wrong with this picture. No wonder kids in America have gone berserk and get in all sorts of trouble.
MOD: Please close this thread! Thank you.
If your daughter is in trouble for anything, it should be shoving the ipad in her dad's face.
She didn't text you because you didn't give her the phone.
She's 10, not 5. My kids are about the same age and are starting to hang out with kids whose parents I don't always know. Going forward into middle school and HS, I can't limit their social lives to families that I know. That isn't realistic and it isn't fair to them.
Instead of hovering and controlling, I remind them that I don't know these parents, and if they feel like something isn't right, to call me or leave. Eventually, you have to let them use their own judgement. How will they ever learn to, if you don't let them?
My biggest concern over your situation is did she have access to a helmet for the bike ride.
WHY has DD not ridden a bike in 7 months? You are in Florida!! That bike should never be put away.
Loosen the leash a bit...or you will be in for some rough teen years coming down the pipe.
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