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My first son was born earlier this year. Even though I always wanted children, I have to say I was taken aback by how challenging it is to look after a newborn. And five months later life continues to surprise me in both good and bad ways (Oh so you thought a newborn was tough, eh? How about a five-month-old baby with a cold who can't breath, eat or sleep?).
Anyway, sometimes my wife and I talk about whether we want a second child or not. There are times I feel like "Totally, this is the most awesome feeling in the world and I can't wait to add another little one to my family" and sometimes I feel more like "NO GOD NO, NEVER AGAIN". A friend of mine, who had a baby one year before me and is already thinking about a second one, once told me that life has a way of making you forget how difficult a newborn was, otherwise nobody would go through it twice. And I feel like I'm going through some of that, because I feel like my opinion has started changing from "This is harder than I expected" to "That wasn't so hard".
Anyway, the purpose of this thread is to ask others...when did you decide you wanted more kids or when did you decide one was enough? What were the reasons for your decision?
We always planned on having 2 and that's what we have. Two girls that are currently ages 7 and 4. In between the first and second, however, I had a couple of early term miscarriages, and we seriously considered stopping. There is nothing wrong with having only one child, either from your perspective as parents, or from the child's perspective. I know several families that have only one child, and that child is happy, well adjusted, and does not suffer from any "only child" issues. I also know some only children that are lonely. I think it depends on the kid.
But, these are some things I have noticed with 2 kids so far:
1. There are no "economies of scale" in having 2 vs only 1. Things aren't easier....they are twice as hard (if not harder).
2. Having said #1, there are things that are slightly easier with kid #2 and subsequent, namely, that you don't worry about things quite as much as you did with your first newborn.
3. Your second child will not get the same time and attention that your firstborn did, especially as an infant.
4. Your children WILL be different in personality, interests, skills and abilities. It doesn't matter that they have been raised in the same environment.
5. Your kids will fight with each other, and when they do, it is a pain in the rear.........but, they will also play with each other and love each other.
6. There is something about watching your children interact happily together that makes all the previous drawbacks I described worth it.
Good luck in your decision. The only people who have to be on board are you and your spouse (and no, your other kids don't get a vote).
We have twins. It was decided for us But now that they're 6, I'm very happy that they're twins and all the "baby/toddler" years weren't spread out over more time. But after raising twin babies/toddlers, the thought of having another baby? OH HELL NO!
Funny to hear a man say that time has a way of making you forget how hard it was, dealing with an infant. Women have known this, about time making you forget how miserable pregnancy and delivery were!
So we then amended our 'we want two children' line of thinking to 'we want to go through the pregnancy/birth process again' almost immediately. And so we did, two years later.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Texas Ag 93
There are no "economies of scale" in having 2 vs only 1. Things aren't easier....they are twice as hard (if not harder).
This is simply wrong.
Financially, we bought one crib. Our twins shared it, and our third used it. One playpen. One blender for making our own baby food. I could go on and on. And, yes, when you're already making a meal for one child, it is not twice as hard to make enough for a second child. When you're taking one child to the park, it is not twice as hard to bring along a second child. I could go on and on here as well.
So, there certainly are myriad economies of scale with having multiple children compared to just one child.
You've got a fever.... and the only cure.... MORE BABY!!!!
been trying for over an year now . no luck so far
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But now that they're 6, I'm very happy that they're twins and all the "baby/toddler" years weren't spread out over more time. But after raising twin babies/toddlers, the thought of having another baby? OH HELL NO!
. no luck so far 
