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Old 07-11-2014, 02:38 PM
 
19,046 posts, read 25,182,643 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akama13 View Post
It might be regional, but here you have to be 18 for many volunteer positions, the humane society being one of them.
Perhaps there are regional differences, but there are national organizations in the US for volunteering Children and teens. I bet they could help answer those questions. We had high school kids at the science museum.
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Old 07-11-2014, 04:14 PM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,897,096 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
It's not impossible where the OP lives.
How do you know?
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Old 07-11-2014, 04:21 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,004,288 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
I'm not against it. In my area it is nearly impossible for a 15 year old to get a job. Giving an ultimatum to do something that is impossible just doesn't make any sense.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
It's not impossible where the OP lives.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
How do you know?
First, in the OP it was obvious that the boyfriend was working before he was 16 years old.

Second, she verified that jobs are available for children under 16 it in a subsequent post (below).

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeriejones View Post
With the boyfriend, I was hoping that her seeing such a hard working kid would rub off on her. He started at his current fast food job at 15 after working as a bagger at a local supermarket when he was 14 (our state doesn't require work permits). He is already making $9.50 an hour!! I wish my daughter would show some dedication like that!
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Old 07-11-2014, 04:57 PM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,897,096 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
First, in the OP it was obvious that the boyfriend was working before he was 16 years old.

Second, she verified that jobs are available for children under 16 it in a subsequent post (below).
The whole thing about work permits does not mean anything. In my state work permits are not required but it is still very difficult for 15 year olds to get jobs.
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Old 07-11-2014, 05:06 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,004,288 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
The whole thing about work permits does not mean anything. In my state work permits are not required but it is still very difficult for 15 year olds to get jobs.
It isn't difficult where the OP lives or the girlfriend's boyfriend wouldn't have been working a grocery store at 14 and a fast food restaurant at 15. Since he's a crew trainer, he could easily get her a job where he works. It's not near impossible for the OP's daughter to find a job. She just needs to be willing to work the type of jobs that hire teens under 16.
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Old 07-11-2014, 05:13 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,155,231 times
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I don't know why everyone seems to be in such a hurry for this girl to get a job. She's 15, not 18. She can't even drive herself to work yet. If she's not old enough to realistically get a real job, she should babysit or pet sit, or do chores and get an allowance. That should teach her how much $500 really is.
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Old 07-11-2014, 05:45 PM
 
Location: Oceania
8,610 posts, read 7,888,561 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jeriejones View Post
I just found this forum when I was searching for parenting advice.

My name is Jerie (single mom) and I am a mom to a beautiful 15-year-old daughter who lately I can't seem to stand. She is doing well in school, maintains almost all "B's" etc. and has no criminal record and for the most part, stays out of trouble. Lately however she has been doing things that really boil my blood!

First, her attitude. I know many people tell me if her grades are good and she is out of trouble, I shouldn't care about the teenage attitude. However this is not the case! She gives me grief about everything, from watching her little sister, to taking out the trash, etc. I can't stand it, every little thing has to be a gigantic stormy mess.

Second, she sulks whenever she can't have something she wants, but luckily for her, the boyfriend comes through every time I say no. This young man works so hard at is fast food job that at 16 he is already a crew trainer, works 5 days a week this summer, and brings home the bread every time. The latest argument was about getting a Coach handbag. I told her no, if you want to get a Coach handbag, get a job and pay for it yourself or wait until your birthday. So she sulked to the boyfriend and he bought her a $500 fullsize bag on the spot!! Mind you that really gets on my nerves!!

Third, whenever she tries to get a job, she considers herself "above" working at many places like McDonald's, Burger King, Checkers, etc. She only wanted to work for Starbucks, Abercrombie, and Hollister, needless to say, she never got any of these jobs.

She brings me to tears sometimes. What happened to my sweet little girl bringing me a flower from our garden and saying "for you, mommy!" .

Sincerely,

-Jerie
You know there is sex involved as well, right? No boyfriend is going to hand over $500 for nothing, be they wealthy or working a summer job.
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Old 07-11-2014, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,003 posts, read 11,719,353 times
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I'm with those who say there needs to be a BIG change in this child's "social circles" for a while. She needs a little more mom time and a little less princess time. For one, at this age, you two should be in the "preparing her" for a life on her own.

Good gawd the price a teenage boy will pay, these days for the promise of some _ _ _ SY and a cute girl on his arm. Ya might wanna let yer lil gal know that....well, it's kinda like prostitution.

Look Mom, at 15, there's no way in hell these kids are mature enough or stable enough to be in a romantic relationship. This kid's still processing the fact that her dad isn't in the picture and she's looking for a fella to wrap around her finger and pay attention to her. She's filling a void. YOU can fill that void, but not with spoiling her, giving in to her and enabling her on her path of self-destruction.

This girl doesn't necessarily need a "paying job" at 15 years of age. What she does need are some responsibilities. "You wanna make some money? Guess what? You know how you're so bored after school? Well, I'm gonna start making you out a list of chores that you're going to start doing around here. Some day soon, you're going to be headed out that door lil chica, and you're gonna need to have some knowledge and practice at some stuff. You do the stuff on your lists, without argument, well....and I'll pay you some money. You argue or refuse? You don't get paid....and you're going to do the stuff anyway...or be grounded until you figure out how things work around here."
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Old 07-11-2014, 08:28 PM
 
1,677 posts, read 2,486,519 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
The thing that struck me from your post was that you allowed your 15 year old daughter to accept a $500 gift from her boyfriend. Heck, my husband of 37 years never even gave me a present that was that expensive (and I never wanted him to spend that much money on a present).

Frankly, if my teenage daughter did that she would be asked to return the purse to her boyfriend. Of course, my daughter would never have even hinted that her boyfriend should buy her a gift like that. She normally paid/pays her own way on dates to help make sure that the boys/men did not feel "entitled to sex" because of spending money on her (as some boys/men still believe is their "right").

Would you let your 16 year old son (if you had a son) give his 15 year old girlfriend a gift that expensive? Or would you rather have him save the money to buy a car or to pay for his own car insurance or to save for college? What kind of parents are letting their son be manipulated into spending his wages like that on a casual girlfriend? Or are they engaged to be married? (I'm just joking, who allows their 16 year old son to be engaged). Do you really want your daughter dating someone who is so easily manipulated?

A $500 gift? Really? From a 16 year old boy to his 15 year old girlfriend? Because she "sulked"?
IMHO, I really don't think that is typical teenage behavior.

I know that this was just one part of your post but it was overlooked by the other responders. If you, as her parent, say "No" to a purchase or an activity why do you allow her boyfriend to over rule your decision? He is not her parent and he is certainly not her husband or the person supporting her, why should he decide that it is OK for her to have the new, expensive purse, or the new clothes, or the new jewelry or whatever else he is buying her? Just something for you to consider.

If it "gets on your nerves", do something about it.
This is exactly what stuck out to me in that post as well. I am a grown woman who would not accept a $500 Coach purse from some casual boyfriend. No way in ever lasting hell would I allow my teenage daughter to accept a gift that expensive. Furthermore, I would be concerned about what would inspire a boy to want to spend that much of his hard earned cash on my daughter. At ages 16 and 15, getting flowers and candy and a stuffed bear is a big deal. No boy is going to spend that kind of money on a girl just because she's so cute when she sulks. She's either doing something in return, or he's wanting something in return.
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Old 07-11-2014, 10:09 PM
 
Location: North America
14,204 posts, read 12,274,353 times
Reputation: 5565
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Picking one thing, I'd chose the job. Focus on that. Don't stop until it happens. Ground her until she gets a job. Take her phone away until she gets job. Do whatever it takes for her to get a job. If she can't talk to or see her boyfriend until she gets a job, she'll get a job fast.
Yeah, ultimatums never work well with the willful. If the bf is buying her stuff than chances are he will have no issues footing her cell phone bill.
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