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Yes fathers SHOULD support their children but the father/child relationship is a separate and distinct entity from the support. Meaning if a father (or mother) falls on hard financial times and cannot give child support or can only give less, that does not mean they can be denied visitation with the child.
Also, I believe that making children the sole purpose of someone's life is actually a burden that no child should have to shoulder and leads to codependency but that is an issue for another thread.
I agree with this completely.
Parents need to have interests, if only to provide examples of well-rounded adulthood to their children.
And visitation should not be denied based on support unless it is obvious the parent is simply choosing not to pay rather than truly financially strapped.
They do have rights in this country. Why would people say that they dont?
In another thread it has been suggested multiple times that a father should be encouraged/forced to terminate his rights because he and the mother don't always get along well.
Also, this is vaguely off topic but in some situations unmarried fathers do not have the same rights as unmarried mothers, like in adoption cases.
In another thread it has been suggested multiple times that a father should be encouraged/forced to terminate his rights because he and the mother don't always get along well.
Also, this is vaguely off topic but in some situations unmarried fathers do not have the same rights as unmarried mothers, like in adoption cases.
I think as long as them not getting along doesn't interfere with the child's well being than they should continue. Not every state allows for a rights termination if someone isn't there to adopt the child either.
If a guy is unmarried and the girl becomes pregnant, he should be able to have give up his rights as a father (including financial). Girls can be sneaky b*tches.
And to anyone that says he should've worn a condom, my response is that she shouldn't have let him hit it raw.
If a guy is unmarried and the girl becomes pregnant, he should be able to have give up his rights as a father (including financial). Girls can be sneaky b*tches.
And to anyone that says he should've worn a condom, my response is that she shouldn't have let him hit it raw.
Except that it is *his* responsibility to protect himself from the unwanted pregnancy just as much as it is the woman's.
She *let* him? Where's his ability to think about the possibilities?
They do have rights in this country. Why would people say that they dont?
Are we talking about America?
Take this common scenario:
Unmarried couple
They both agree that they aren't ready to become parents
They both agree to not use a condom
They agree that she should take daily birth control pills
She forgets
She becomes pregnant
He wants her to have an abortion or give it up for adoption
She wants to raise the child
She has the right to do whatever she wants with the child. He ends up paying child support whether or not he wants to be involved. To me, that's not fair.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053
Except that it is *his* responsibility to protect himself from the unwanted pregnancy just as much as it is the woman's.
She *let* him? Where's his ability to think about the possibilities?
Well, that's debatable. Again, they agreed that he shouldn't wear a condom. Women want to scream, "it's my body, it's my choice" but when an unintended pregnancy occurs many want to scream that he wasn't responsible. What ever happened to protecting that wonderful body?
Yes, she let him. He didn't force her. She agreed to it. He did think about the possibilities and he trusted her.
A father should have an equal say in the outcome of a pregnancy. Short of entering into prenuptial agreements before having sex, they really aren't given equal rights through the pregnancy, delivery, after the baby is born. Just look at how many people say in the other thread that babies shouldn't be away from their mothers during the first year. Society has a big double standard and treats fathers like they aren't competent. It's no surprise so many new fathers just walk away because they're not treated as if they have worth except for paying support.
They both agree that they aren't ready to become parents
They both agree to not use a condom
They agree that she should take daily birth control pills
She forgets
She becomes pregnant
He wants her to have an abortion or give it up for adoption
She wants to raise the child
She has the right to do whatever she wants with the child. He ends up paying child support whether or not he wants to be involved. To me, that's not fair.
Well, that's debatable. Again, they agreed that he shouldn't wear a condom. Women want to scream, "it's my body, it's my choice" but when an unintended pregnancy occurs many want to scream that he wasn't responsible. What ever happened to protecting that wonderful body?
Yes, she let him. He didn't force her. She agreed to it. He did think about the possibilities and he trusted her.
If you're in a committed relationship, you can discuss a less fallible form of contraception, like an IUD or shot. If your SO doesn't want that or it's not possible, then don't skip the condom, regardless. We discussed it and she agreed is not an excuse. Or you can get the snip. You have options. It's ultimately your responsibility, if you want control.
The other thing to do is to actually listen to your partner. I think a lot of the time, people hear what they want to hear and disregard signals either way. But - the only person you have control over is you. And if the baby is completely unintended, yet there she is pregnant anyway, then you aren't be one who's going to have to ultimately go through any of the various options. And you should be grateful for that and keep your end up at the beginning, so to speak.
fathers have the same rights as mothers. they are every bit as much the parent as the mother is. they should be given every chance to step up and be a dad.
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