Partner thinks we should get a full time nanny? (meal, babies, parent)
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Just curious: does your husband ever bathe the baby or change his diaper? Perhaps he simply doesn't understand how bonding and pleasurable these simple activities can be.
So enlist him in baby's bathtime (diaper changes are a bit more...well, let's say less persuasive methods of connecting parent and child). Show him how to safely wash the baby and talk to him (the baby) during the bath. Let him dry, apply lotion and dress the baby afterwards. Encourage him to snuggle the little one.
He has done it only a handful of times because he says I know how to take care of him better. He will only help with the baby if I suggest it, he doesn't take the initiative. The only time he has bathed him it seemed like he holding something made of crystal. He says he's afraid of hurting the baby.
Having nannies, maids, or cooks is common for many cultures. In expat american communities too. It's not a weird thing for many people. I never wanted someone in my home, but many of my friends do.
I would compromise and have some part time help. I would choose a maid over a nanny.
He has done it only a handful of times because he says I know how to take care of him better. He will only help with the baby if I suggest it, he doesn't take the initiative. The only time he has bathed him it seemed like he holding something made of crystal. He says he's afraid of hurting the baby.
Perhaps, if your husband had more experience caring for the baby on his own he would start to feel more comfortable and be able to care for very well, too.
Of course, if you are breastfeeding a newborn you want to stay very close. But, even with a month old baby you could meet your girlfriends for lunch or coffee once or twice a week, or have hubby in charge while you take a long bath and a nap. Sometimes, new dads get nervous if the new mom is constantly watching them.
My son is a very equal partner in caring for his son (except for breastfeeding). To cut down on child care costs (as well as how often their child is away from one of them) he is the "full time Dad" every Sunday, starting from when my grandson was about 2 or 3 months old, while she works that day. He says that having full responsibility for the whole day makes him love his son even more as well as get to know his total personality. Possibly that may be too dramatic a change for your husband but it is something to consider in the future.
Right now DH may think that 15 minutes a day is "normal" for a father to interact with his child and, I'll guessing, that both you and your infant disagree.
sounds to me like a cultural difference as well as jealousy. He lacked what he sees you doing and it might make him feel uncomfortable for many reasons. Afraid it's not "right" by his own standards for parents to be so hands on- might appear lower class for a woman to do so much "work" and he's afraid it will reflect poorly on him.
He needs to be much more involved with his child. and he should have started the minute the child was born. Relax and give him encouragement and support. Assure him the baby won't break. Find articles and books about how important it is for healthy development of love for fathers to be intimately involved in every aspect of baby care. if he doesn't figure this out you both will be passing on to the next generation the coldness and pomposity he grew up with.
I wonder if some parenting classes for him might help? I bet if he was raised by nannies that he has no clue how to be a Dad, since it sounds like his Dad was not involved with him. He will need someone to help encourage him, help teach him.
I had to show my husband the ropes when our daughter was born. He had never even changed a diaper before. But he loved her to death, and was willing to try anything. He is a great Dad, and always has been. It just takes a willingness to learn.
Eh, I dunno, I'm a sahm and loved taking care of my son when he was a baby, but if I had that much money to throw around and a husband who suggested it, I definitely wouldn't have minded to have someone on hand, not a full-time nanny to take care of him 24-7 but more like a helper who would do the 'dirty work' of changing/bathing/going for walks while baby naps etc, so that all I would do is nurse and the fun things like playing, singing, reading, etc. For that matter I wouldn't mind someone to take screaming baby off my hands for a few minutes while I went to the bathroom or, you know, ate So I don't know OP, you might want to reconsider - you said your baby is only a month, that's still the easy stage. Wait until about after two-three months, when they stop sleeping as much - and you might be very grateful to have some help around during the day. And then just wait till he starts crawling and walking
Eh, I dunno, I'm a sahm and loved taking care of my son when he was a baby, but if I had that much money to throw around and a husband who suggested it, I definitely wouldn't have minded to have someone on hand, not a full-time nanny to take care of him 24-7 but more like a helper who would do the 'dirty work' of changing/bathing/going for walks while baby naps etc, so that all I would do is nurse and the fun things like playing, singing, reading, etc. For that matter I wouldn't mind someone to take screaming baby off my hands for a few minutes while I went to the bathroom or, you know, ate So I don't know OP, you might want to reconsider - you said your baby is only a month, that's still the easy stage. Wait until about after two-three months, when they stop sleeping as much - and you might be very grateful to have some help around during the day. And then just wait till he starts crawling and walking
These are the FUN things I miss so much now that my kids are tweens. And these are the times where real bonding and trust comes in. Don't you remember those intense stares from baby while you bathed and changed him? He is looking in your eyes to find reassurance of love and safety. We thrived at those times.
My son is just over a month old. His father comes from a rather wealthy family and he and his brothers had 2 full time nannies to take care of them.
However, I couldn't believe it when he suggested we should get one too so I don't have to deal with changing nappies or giving him a bath. I was puzzled. Like if I would ever trade those moments with my baby when I love changing his nappy, even the very poopy ones. I love playing with his hands and feet while I clean him.
I come from a normal middle class family and not used to any of that. We have a housekeeper but only twice a week. He wanted to have a full time housekeeper as well! I appreaciate her help but there's a few things I like to do myself and not have a stranger wondering around the house.
Do you think he doubts my mothering skills to want a nanny?
If it were me, I'd take a full time house keeper over a nanny any day of the week. I'd rather someone else clean my house than care for my kids if I'm available to care for them.
I think most women would prefer a full time housekeeper than a full time nanny. I sure would but even somebody to come in once a week would be like heaven to most of us. Besides it is a scientific fact that kids who grow up with germs and clutter are healthier...that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
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So I don't know OP, you might want to reconsider - you said your baby is only a month, that's still the easy stage. Wait until about after two-three months, when they stop sleeping as much - and you might be very grateful to have some help around during the day. And then just wait till he starts crawling and walking 
I love playing with his hands and feet while I clean him. 
