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Since the OP's son appears to get more one on one time with Dad than the daughters, it would seem, for those who are of the "every child gets everything absolutely equal no matter what or they'll be jealous" mindset, that taking the two girls but not the son along would bebringing more, not less, balance to the relationships. And perhaps when the son is 12, HE gets to go on a trip to Disney or someplace equal with Dad (or Mom, for that matter).
Quote:
Originally Posted by jkcoop
I'm in the camp of taking the girls. What a great opportunity to spend time. I don't know if seminars are like conferences, but when I went with my husband last year to a conference in Orlando it's not like he was in there all day long. Lots of breaks and some parts he chose to skip.
His 7 year old has many years of dad time ahead of him. I'm not a big Disney person (we never took our son) so I guess I'm just looking at this from the perspective of some good one on one time with his daughters.
To all of the posters who say that "to be fair" all of the children need to go on vacation together.
What happens if Dad has a conference four years from now and the oldest daughter is off in college. Does that mean that the two youngest children shouldn't go on a vacation with Dad (or with both parents)? And let's say that both daughters are in college or married, then the youngest shouldn't be allowed to go on vacation with his parents by himself? Of course not, that is silly. Then why is it wrong for the dad to just take his oldest children, who he said that he spends very little time with, on vacation with him?
And, Mom certainly shouldn't be worried about a 15 year old and a 12 year being left alone while Dad is attending the conference. Dad said that they were responsible and have a cell phone, plus there are many activities that they can do right at the hotel.
What happens if Dad has a conference four years from now and the oldest daughter is off in college. Does that mean that the two youngest children shouldn't go on a vacation with Dad (or with both parents)? And let's say that both daughters are in college or married, then the youngest shouldn't be allowed to go on vacation with his parents by himself? Of course not, that is silly. Then why is it wrong for the dad to just take his oldest children, who he said that he spends very little time with, on vacation with him?
That is a lot different. Of course a family isn't going to just stop taking vacations because one of the children moves out or has a family of their own to take vacations with. My parents are taking my brother to Alaska for vacation in August. Neither my sister nor I care that we were not invited because we have our own lives and have our own vacations planed. Yeah, we enjoy the occasional family vacation, but as grown adults we don't expect to go on every single one. But to do a family vacation and exclude one child while they are all still living at home? Especially to tell a 7 year old that you are taking his sisters to Disney and he has to stay at home.
Remember the OP originally said he wanted his wife to come along too, but she didn't feel comfortable leaving their son with the grandmother. I think a lot of posters would have felt differently if it was supposed to be a father/daughter trip all along, and not just finding a way to exclude the youngest child from the trip.
That is a lot different. Of course a family isn't going to just stop taking vacations because one of the children moves out or has a family of their own to take vacations with. My parents are taking my brother to Alaska for vacation in August. Neither my sister nor I care that we were not invited because we have our own lives and have our own vacations planed. Yeah, we enjoy the occasional family vacation, but as grown adults we don't expect to go on every single one. But to do a family vacation and exclude one child while they are all still living at home? Especially to tell a 7 year old that you are taking his sisters to Disney and he has to stay at home.
Remember the OP originally said he wanted his wife to come along too, but she didn't feel comfortable leaving their son with the grandmother. I think a lot of posters would have felt differently if it was supposed to be a father/daughter trip all along, and not just finding a way to exclude the youngest child from the trip.
My parents did that all the time when we were kids. It wasn't a big deal. Some of us would go on holiday and others would stay behind, either with one parent or go stay with friends or families from church. The only time it was a bit upsetting was when my dad took one of my brothers on a trip to Egypt and Israel and I was a bit jealous of that but soon got over it.
If you want a daddy-daughter vacation, then take a true vacation and spend actual father-daughter time together.
This is just a work trip that happens to be in Orlando. Your daughters will be killing time for 8 hours three days in a row.
Not to mention the fact that your wife will be home with the difficult child and full of anxiety worrying about the girls.
Just go to the seminar and work, then plan a REAL trip for another time.
If you insist on taking the girls only, can mom and son do something fun one on one while you are gone? A trip to a local hotel for swimming and room service? We went to Chicago last year and had a day like that - stayed in comfy clothes all day, swam, went back the room and ordered in then watched Scooby Doo in bed the rest of the day. it was FANTASTIC and so relaxing!!
My kids have been to WDW pushing 10 times....they would absolutely never forgive me if I took one and not the other..
ETA - FWIW, I suffer from intense and debilitating anxiety, as well. I know where your wife is coming from, but I also know, she needs to push her boundaries a bit and test herself. I don't like it when my family is apart for anything...which is why we never travel without the kids. Anything that detours from my daily life gives me panic attacks...but, I know that as the years past, she will regret more that she did not spend less time worrying/more time exploring..
If you insist on taking the girls only, can mom and son do something fun one on one while you are gone? A trip to a local hotel for swimming and room service?
If you insist on taking the girls only, can mom and son do something fun one on one while you are gone? A trip to a local hotel for swimming and room service? We went to Chicago last year and had a day like that - stayed in comfy clothes all day, swam, went back the room and ordered in then watched Scooby Doo in bed the rest of the day. it was FANTASTIC and so relaxing!!
My kids have been to WDW pushing 10 times....they would absolutely never forgive me if I took one and not the other..
Good luck to you all!
Oh for goodness sakes. Life isn't fair. There is a major age difference between these kids and the son is going to have 5 years of solo family vacations when the girls are in college. My little sister went to Europe and the Caribbean while I was slogging through college calculus. So what? If you've raised kids who "won't forgive you" for taking their siblings on some fun without them, then they may need a reminder about who's money pays for this stuff.
Oh for goodness sakes. Life isn't fair. There is a major age difference between these kids and the son is going to have 5 years of solo family vacations when the girls are in college.
5 years between the middle and youngest is not really a major age difference. My nephews are 5 years apart and they are able to go on vacations just fine together. My sister is 4 years older then me, and my brother is 10 years younger then me and we were all able to go on vacations together just fine.
There are plenty of times for a 7 year old to find out that life isn't fair, but the whole family taking a trip to Disney without him doesn't need to be one of those times. Sure he might get to have 5 years of solo vacations once the girls leave for college, but can't you also say the girls already had 5 years of solo vacations without him before he was born? Its just a silly argument.
Once again, the "whole family" is not going on a vacation to Disney. Dad is going to a business conference at a Disney owned property, and wants to take his two daughters along for some special bonding time. This is one of those occasions where it is appropriate to say "Sorry buddy, you aren't quite old enough for this trip".
It sounds as though it's been worked out between the parents, and there has been no lasting trauma to the little brother, who has his own special outings to look forward to.
we have three children, two girls, 15 and 12, one boy 7. We have hardly been apart from the kids since 1999.
My wife is not a big traveler and has anxiety being around lots of people, so we don't get to go to a lot of places, but have been to disney world twice.
Now taking my son to disney is an adventure. He is diagnosed with adhd and we finally have a treatment plan that is working well. But still, he is a boy and loves to pick on his sisters.
In late july, my work is sending me to a seminar at the swan resort at disney for three days. I have a room that will fit my wife and two girls. I would love to take my son, but i would also love to just spend a couple days with my girls because they are growing up so fast, and both were honor students this past school year. So some time away from brother would be a treat for them. They can hang out at the pools, go shopping, etc... Just relax...be girls.
The plan was to leave my son with grandma, who adore each other. But her health is not the greatest, she is 74. My wife is worried about being gone for four nights (about 600 miles away to orlando).
I suggested that maybe she can stay home and i'll just take the girls. It would be our first dad-daughter trip.
She freaked out over that because what if something happens? Especially while i'm in the seminar for 8 hours a day? I felt the girls are mature enough to just hang out at the pool or stay in the resort, then after i get out of class, i would take them to dinner and go exploring disney, etc...
If they can't go, i may just turn down the trip because i would like for them to enjoy this trip with me. (i use to travel a lot on my own, and don't care for it anymore).
Just not sure how to convince my wife that sometimes she just has to trust and have faith.
o.o
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