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For my Son's School 8th Grade trip the school out a Seal on each door, that if broken would show, They also had a local off-duty cop walking the halls.
For "small" group (High School) , the adviser put a seal (Its piece of special tape that breaks when the door is open'ed), Once they are in there room for the night, they seal is put on, they are not allow out of there room, till the adviser "De-seals" the door. If they find the seal broken in the morning every one in that room is immediately send home. (Parents have to come pick them up).
Temptation is everywhere. It makes more sense to practice self control than to practice avoidance.
A valid statement if we were talking about adults. We're not. If teenagers were so good at exercising self-control and good judgement, the age of majority would be 13, not 18. (Not that 18 is some magic number.)
Last edited by reebo; 05-25-2014 at 10:35 AM..
Reason: Because commas are our friends.
One can avoid the dessert table, one cannot go through life avoiding the opposite sex. That analogy IMO is way too simplified.
We taught our kids to avoid situations that could get them into trouble ie underage drinking, drunk driving etc but avoiding group activities because there are both boys and girls present IMO is not a rational argument.
A used condom was found at the high school where my DD attends in the athletic training room during school hours. I've heard stories of what goes on at athletic events "behind the bleachers" etc. Where there is a will, kids will find a way and therefore I personally won't rule out an activity just because there are boys and girls present.
A Boy/Girl sleepover at age 15, as in the OP, is an avoidable risk, and it is very rational for a parent to say "no". The OP did let the teen go to the party; she just picked her up at 11 PM.
My 15-year-old daughter currently is barely speaking to me because I wouldn't let her spend the night with 4 boys and another girl at one kid's house. It wasn't a graduation party, birthday party, or a lock-in. The kids had just gathered at one house and all but my daughter were spending the night. This is the second time this has come up.
My question is not "Should I or shoudn't I let her?" because my husband and I and are not going to let her do this.
Rather, I'm wondering if this is a "thing" now. Parents of teens: Do kids in your community have boy/girl sleepovers?
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Where are the parents of the kid who lives in that house? Do they know about this? No way! She can rant and rave and not speak to you until she is 18...but you and your husband did the right thing. Stick to your guns. No explanations needed...the potential issues are so obvious. No it has nothing to do with whether this is a "thing" now or not. Kids have always tried to pull all sorts of stunts to cause their parents to worry. Bottom line...when a child under age, lives with the parents, and depends on them for their needs and care...they have to play by the parents' rules...it was the right rule before..and will still be right in the next 50 years (I hope).
I'm the OP and appreciate all the responses. As I said on here a couple of times, one of my issues with that sleepover was that I wasn't confident it would be well-supervised.
She and I talked about it at length a couple of days later and I explained why we wouldn't let her stay over. I think she appreciated a chance to give me her side of the argument. She's over being angry, at least for now.
I had sex for the first time at 14 years old at a boy/girl sleepover in 8th grade. A friend of mine and myself waited until his parents went to bed, before smoking marijuana in a tree house and having a threesome with one of the girls. If I were a parent I would not allow it. Luckily all three of us have gone on to become college graduates and have successful careers, but I pregnancy could have literally ruined 2 of our lives. Boy girl sleepovers at that age are a really bad idea IMO.
My 15-year-old daughter currently is barely speaking to me because I wouldn't let her spend the night with 4 boys and another girl at one kid's house. It wasn't a graduation party, birthday party, or a lock-in. The kids had just gathered at one house and all but my daughter were spending the night. This is the second time this has come up.
My question is not "Should I or shoudn't I let her?" because my husband and I and are not going to let her do this.
Rather, I'm wondering if this is a "thing" now. Parents of teens: Do kids in your community have boy/girl sleepovers?
I would say to the kid. "Sure you can participate if I'm allowed to chaperone. Otherwise Forget it".
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