Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
An interesting new series in the NYT Parenting section on how to manage and reform picky eaters will be published weekly. I thought it may be of interest to others as it's such a common parenting concern.
Quote:
Dr. Ludwig’s job here is to provide strategies based on hard science and years of experience, while mine is to take his advice and make it palatable for Christine, and fun for her children. Over the next six weeks I’m going to document what happens; what we suggest, what Christine commits to and how her twins react.
I was in the same situation with my twins. The picky one's issues lasted until he was a tween. It's a main reason I began giving my third child table food around 4 months. I relied less on books and experts and more on my own instincts and experience with nutrition and behavior. If you don't have a plan, it can be absolutely maddening.
If you let them, one child can hold the family hostage three times a day, and especially when you attempt to go out.
Meals with extended family become like a Greek tragedy at the table, as well-meaning grandmas offer macaroni, peanut butter, toast and any other item the kid might want, all while derailing your progress by telling you, "He's hungry! Just give him what he wants!!"
One year our Thanksgiving dinner actually looked similar to the menu Snoopy prepared on the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special.
I was a very picky eater. My parents tried the power struggle of "you will sit there until you eat that particular food!" and it never worked for them. I was more stubborn and I literally sat at the table for 5 hours once and still wouldn't eat it. Finally the rule became that they didn't make separate meals for me, but I was allowed to make a sandwich if I hated what we were having. I eat a much larger variety of foods now, but there are still things I won't eat (seafood, carrots, etc), so I know I'm not setting the best example.
My four-year-old is picky like I was.
My kids are told they must taste the dinner I prepared, and then if they don't like it they are free to get up and make a sandwich (even the 4-year-old can do that). Many times they are surprised they like it and eat everything on their plates. Other times they make a face and then get up. There's no other pressure on them, and I've found that over time they are willing to try foods again. I also offer "extra" sauces to them - ketchup or barbecue sauce cures many things, a teeny dribble of honey over a ham steak makes them excited, and the occasional ranch dip results in them eating me out of celery and carrots and broccoli.
My 8-year-old is now eating relatively normally. The 6-year-old always ate well.
This week the 4-year-old actually ate real meals every night, which is unusual. He's been "helping" me cook some nights, and I think that really does help. I've also been letting him choose which veggies we have every night (I give him two choices), and he tends to eat them even if he originally said "I don't like that!"
My kids have never been that picky, except that my oldest had a nut and seed phobia when she was younger. My mom would try to force her to eat a granola bar, or trick her with a chocolate-covered nut, and my daughter would vomit when she realized what was in her mouth. (I feel the same way about mushrooms.) My daughter outgrew the nut and seed phobia when she got older.
My neighbor's son is a very picky eater at her house, but a bit more adventurous at my house as long as his mom's not there to say, "Oh, he won't eat that."
"Your job is to offer one healthy meal and their job is to choose if they eat it."
The more musts and rules and battles we have around mealtimes, the less directly in control and thus engaged the kids are going to be with their own choices.
"Your job is to offer one healthy meal and their job is to choose if they eat it."
The more musts and rules and battles we have around mealtimes, the less directly in control and thus engaged the kids are going to be with their own choices.
somebody is right-if you are very strict with your kids,, you may think you are doing the right thing,,,but when they get older,they will rebel,, 180 degrees the other way
give your picky kids 3 choices to what to eat, let them decide,,,dont make it a test of wills
Here's a simple solution to a picky eater. Don't feed them. If parent's weren't giving "picky" eaters alternative choices, they wouldn't be "picky" in the first place. A child eats what they are given. When you decide to put your foot down and tell that child the only food they're getting is the one made, they can make the choice to either starve or eat what's put in front of them.
Here's a simple solution to a picky eater. Don't feed them. If parent's weren't giving "picky" eaters alternative choices, they wouldn't be "picky" in the first place. A child eats what they are given. When you decide to put your foot down and tell that child the only food they're getting is the one made, they can make the choice to either starve or eat what's put in front of them.
Except that some children will choose to starve (autistic children with sensory issues can do this). I have one who never could tell he was hungry. He would eat when we fed him, but... he would continue eating until he threw up unless you stopped the feeding (this was as an infant).
While typically developing children who are “picky eaters” will not starve themselves or make themselves ill, problem or resistant eaters might.
Quote:
Children who are resistant eaters may also gag and/or vomit when presented with new or disliked food. They may also exhibit extreme behavioral reactions which impacts everyone around them. For these children and their families any situation which food is involved can be scary causing avoidance and isolation.
Here's a simple solution to a picky eater. Don't feed them. If parent's weren't giving "picky" eaters alternative choices, they wouldn't be "picky" in the first place. A child eats what they are given. When you decide to put your foot down and tell that child the only food they're getting is the one made, they can make the choice to either starve or eat what's put in front of them.
Why make it a power struggle when there are other options that don't require catering to the picky eater, but doesn't starve them either. You must be a joy to be around if you honestly think that this is how to raise a child.
My kids are told they must taste the dinner I prepared, and then if they don't like it they are free to get up and make a sandwich (even the 4-year-old can do that).
This is pretty much how we do it. It works pretty well. Sometimes she ends up liking it, sometimes she makes a peanut butter sandwich and eats some carrots. Either way is fine with me and gives her the freedom to make her own choice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletG
Why make it a power struggle when there are other options that don't require catering to the picky eater, but doesn't starve them either. You must be a joy to be around if you honestly think that this is how to raise a child.
Why insult their parenting technique? For some people, it works. For some, it doesn't. My father was that sort of person who made me eat what was on my plate or not eat at all and you know what I did? I ate what was on my plate, even if I didn't like it. You can also know that I am now most likely the least picky eater you'll ever meet in your entire lifetime.
Different strokes for different folks.
Last edited by lovesthebass; 01-18-2014 at 11:35 PM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
