Reforming A Picky Eater (teens, autism, weight, daughter)
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I was a very picky eater. My parents tried the power struggle of "you will sit there until you eat that particular food!" and it never worked for them. I was more stubborn and I literally sat at the table for 5 hours once and still wouldn't eat it. Finally the rule became that they didn't make separate meals for me, but I was allowed to make a sandwich if I hated what we were having. I eat a much larger variety of foods now, but there are still things I won't eat (seafood, carrots, etc), so I know I'm not setting the best example.
My four-year-old is picky like I was.
My kids are told they must taste the dinner I prepared, and then if they don't like it they are free to get up and make a sandwich (even the 4-year-old can do that). Many times they are surprised they like it and eat everything on their plates. Other times they make a face and then get up. There's no other pressure on them, and I've found that over time they are willing to try foods again. I also offer "extra" sauces to them - ketchup or barbecue sauce cures many things, a teeny dribble of honey over a ham steak makes them excited, and the occasional ranch dip results in them eating me out of celery and carrots and broccoli.
My 8-year-old is now eating relatively normally. The 6-year-old always ate well.
This week the 4-year-old actually ate real meals every night, which is unusual. He's been "helping" me cook some nights, and I think that really does help. I've also been letting him choose which veggies we have every night (I give him two choices), and he tends to eat them even if he originally said "I don't like that!"
That's pretty much the way I did it -- I don't force feed, I wouldn't like to be forced to eat something I didn't like and I don't do that to others. I don't make the family dinner table a battle zone and I don't want to create eating and food issues.
There is pretty much only wholesome food choices in my house to begin with and if a child doesn't like or even thinks he doesn't like what is being served, he can make a sandwich or get a bowl of cereal. No big deal either way. I don't even force them to try the food they're saying they don't like.
Because that is not parenting....it's being a bully.
And I question why someone would ever send a child to bed hungry. That's cruel and completely unnecessary.
A bowl of raisin bran or a peanut butter sandwich is a perfectly valid meal option.
In my opinion, kids should be taught the real reason for eating is nutrition --- not to show submissiveness to parents or others and also isn't about domination over anyone, and not to gain parental love. Your own tastebuds are yours, just like mine are mine. If you love carrots but don't love lima beans -- who cares?
Why make it a power struggle when there are other options that don't require catering to the picky eater, but doesn't starve them either. You must be a joy to be around if you honestly think that this is how to raise a child.
That is more or less what we do. And there is no power struggle. Eat or don't eat. No skin off my nose. I think it is a great skill to impart on ones kids to be able to politely eat what they don't "like".
That is more or less what we do. And there is no power struggle. Eat or don't eat. No skin off my nose. I think it is a great skill to impart on ones kids to be able to politely eat what they don't "like".
Well --- it could help them if they want to go on Fear Factor.
Well --- it could help them if they want to go on Fear Factor.
I found it helpful when placed in social situations in which it would have been rude to refuse what was served. I find it helpful when I want to make a favorite for one family member that I don't care for. I find it helpful when any other consideration about meal planning, from budgets to convenience, play a role in menu choices.
For my part, the going to bed "hungry" thing is just stupid. This
My sister and I were raised to eat what we were served. I had a friend whose mom allowed an alternative. However they were completely on their own in obtaining the alternative.
As a parent I was willing to make reasonable accommodations. Making a special meal was completely out of the question. They were allowed to fend for themselves if they didn't like the meal. When we were at someone else's house, they were to eat what was being served.
My sister and I were raised to eat what we were served. I had a friend whose mom allowed an alternative. However they were completely on their own in obtaining the alternative.
As a parent I was willing to make reasonable accommodations. Making a special meal was completely out of the question. They were allowed to fend for themselves if they didn't like the meal. When we were at someone else's house, they were to eat what was being served.
We invited a family to dinner. We were serving roast chicken. No liver and onions or any whacky stuff. Mom proceeded to make her 2 children completely different meals from my refrigerator because her kids did not "like" what was being served. I was embarrassed for her. Of course never invited them back. Which is a shame. One kid "would" only eat chicken nuggets. Cuz that is healthy.
I think it is a great skill to impart on ones kids to be able to politely eat what they don't "like".
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
I found it helpful when placed in social situations in which it would have been rude to refuse what was served.
These are both very good points. We seem to have so many friends whose kids will only eat particular brands or recipes. We went out to dinner with another family recently and 2 of their 3 kids wouldn't eat anything, ages 12 and 13. It was a nice Italian restaurant, so nothing weird. I thought it rather sad.
These are both very good points. We seem to have so many friends whose kids will only eat particular brands or recipes. We went out to dinner with another family recently and 2 of their 3 kids wouldn't eat anything, ages 12 and 13. It was a nice Italian restaurant, so nothing weird. I thought it rather sad.
Yah. We went somewhere as a large group including a family whose Mom took so long micromanaging the ordering of her 2 kids' foods that the waitress had to wait on other tables before coming back to the rest of the table. If the kids cannot order of the menu, they should not be there. The birthday girl whom we were celebrating was one of the people who did not get to place an order until much later. Kinda not the point!
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