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Establish a budget, ask her to prioritize her wish list, and go from there. It's a WISH list, not a REQUIRED list, and the poster who said "get a second job to get her everything" isn't recognizing that the idea isn't that "all their dreams come true," but that the season is celebrated in a reasonable and responsible fashion.
We told my MIL this year that she is now off the hook for gift-giving -- she's on a limited income, and was worrying about buying gifts for her six kids/in-laws and seven grandchildren, plus the grandchildren are starting to get married . . . so! If MIL wants to make cookies for everyone, we will love it. If she simply wants to sit and enjoy having her family around her, that's fine, too -- none of us need anything.
OP, don't get sucked into the feeling that you are inadequate for not giving her everything on the list -- that's a slippery slope, and leads to $1,000 prom dresses, brand-new first cars, and $500 purses for high schoolers. Daughter needs a reality check. :-)
I don't understand what's wrong with telling a child "no." Nicely of course. But where's the harm in saying "We have a budget and that long list of things isn't on it. Tell me what you want the most and we'll take it from there."
Um.
I thought an xmas list was like a wish list.
You put things you want on there and you might get one or two of those things.
I was not aware it was a Burger King order.
That's what I always thought too. I used to put lots and lots of things on my Christmas list- didn't mean I thought I would get all of them. I fail to see how a long Christmas list makes the daughter entitled, spoiled, expecting way too much, etc.
Can you get a 2nd job, even temporarily, so she can get everything she wants?
Lol!!
Maybe she isn't being greedy but just thinking up good selections. That way she can be both surprised and also have it be something she would lik. My kids would think up long lists because they knew some things might be sold out, some were too expensive, but also they knew full well there was a limit.
Can you get a 2nd job, even temporarily, so she can get everything she wants?
Okay so mom should go out and get a 2nd job so that her child can get everything on her christmas list , I would tell my kids dont hold your breath , ridiculous to think that a parent would go out and get a 2nd job just to give their kids an over loaded christmas that is just beyond reasonable ...
Honestly, looking back, my only regret growing up is that I wish my parents had been more forthcoming about finances. They don't teach basic finance in school (at least they didn't when I was in school, maybe they do now in some places, I don't know). I'm talking about how to make a budget, how much things should cost, due dates, what happens if you are late on bills, how to keep a check ledger so you don't bounce checks, taxes, saving for retirement, that sort of thing. No one teaches you those things except your parents, so if they don't do it, no one does.
Middle school is definitely old enough to talk about budgets. If you haven't had that talk, it is likely they think you make WAY more money than you really do, since you always have enough for what they've asked for. I know that even when I was moving out to go to college, I had no idea how much my parents made, how much a power bill was, how much the mortgage was. I had to make my mom sit down and discuss money with me, as an 18 year old, which was a little ridiculous. As an adult, I've worked for them for 13 years and I STILL have no idea if they have ANYTHING saved for retirement other than the rental properties they own (and they are past 60 years old). It isn't a topic they will discuss, I've tried.
So honestly, you will be doing your daughter a favor to explain budgets to her, and how you have $xx to spend on Christmas, but that has to cover everyone, and that a wish list is a very nice thing to write up, as it makes sure that money is spent on things she really does want, but it doesn't mean she will get everything on the list, so if she has a favorite or two, that would be helpful to know. Maybe she can get one of the items on the list for her next birthday.
If she wants to live like a princess she might wanna start doing chores for money.Other than that, needs to kick rocks and learn that money dont grow from trees
If she wants to live like a princess she might wanna start doing chores for money.Other than that, needs to kick rocks and learn that money dont grow from trees
Already. I flat out told mine that we are NOT celebrating the Consumerism Festival. Fine by me if relatives want to shell out bucks for 3DS and games, Wii-u, etc. but I am sticking to educational and practical "gifts" that they really need (new shoes, clothing, and each gets a tablet). The tablet *can* be used to play games, but also to do homework and study. I'm sick of kids thinking Xmas is a time for them to be treated like spoiled princes and princesses. Well, first of all, I do not have a royal budget.
Already. I flat out told mine that we are NOT celebrating the Consumerism Festival. Fine by me if relatives want to shell out bucks for 3DS and games, Wii-u, etc. but I am sticking to educational and practical "gifts" that they really need (new shoes, clothing, and each gets a tablet). The tablet *can* be used to play games, but also to do homework and study. I'm sick of kids thinking Xmas is a time for them to be treated like spoiled princes and princesses. Well, first of all, I do not have a royal budget.
Did I see a computer tablet for each child in that list? I think those qualify as pretty extravagant gifts, at least they would in our household.
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