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I vividly remember the time my high school boyfriend (of 3 years) and I broke up, and I could not stop crying.
After I had gone to bed and still kept crying, my dad came in my room, sat next to my bed, and started reading Anna Karenina out loud (it was a school assignment!).
It was really not like him to do something like that, and he never told me to stop crying or to get over it. He just helped me think about something else until I fell asleep.
I vividly remember the time my high school boyfriend (of 3 years) and I broke up, and I could not stop crying.
After I had gone to bed and still kept crying, my dad came in my room, sat next to my bed, and started reading Anna Karenina out loud (it was a school assignment!).
It was really not like him to do something like that, and he never told me to stop crying or to get over it. He just helped me think about something else until I fell asleep.
I vividly remember the time my high school boyfriend (of 3 years) and I broke up, and I could not stop crying.
After I had gone to bed and still kept crying, my dad came in my room, sat next to my bed, and started reading Anna Karenina out loud (it was a school assignment!).
It was really not like him to do something like that, and he never told me to stop crying or to get over it. He just helped me think about something else until I fell asleep.
I remember when my oldest daughter went through this. At the time she was all giddy about having her first love I sat her down with this advice.
"I know you are having fun and feeling on top of the world now. Enjoy it now for what it is- your first love-be careful about any action you take to express this love and be aware that those actions can change the course of your life. Also be prepared for how you will feel when it is over, no matter who decides to call it quits. And realize very few people stay with their first love for very long- that is why it is called "First' love."
When they eventually broke up she handled it well and she told me you remembered what i told her as she was realizing it was coming to an end.
This is great advice. Nothing hurts like your first big breakup. Just love her and keep her from doing anything stupid and embarrassing herself.
^^^ This. Along with don't bug her. Give her privacy and let her guide you on when she WANTS to talk. I never told my mother ANYTHING about guys because I thought she was too nosy. I didn't want her involved in my social life. You can't fix this. It will take time. I would allow her to invite girlfriends over if she wants to, but be aware of one thing. Sometimes when young girls get a boyfriend, they pretty much totally freeze out their former BFFs. No one exists for them but the guy. Make sure she didn't do that before you encourage communication with girlfriends or she's liable to find out she got dumped by someone besides the Dreamboat. Good luck.
I'd suggest to her she get off his friends list on social media. Seeing him every day at school will be tough enough. Having him pop up on every social media account she has will be tougher.
Oh, first heartbreak is the worst. I remember mine vividly, and am suddenly grateful that this was before social media. It was bad enough seeing his name pop up on my AOL Instant Messenger.
Let her cry and give her space. She'll likely come to you if/when she wants to talk. As others have said, do make sure in a few days or so that she's accepted the breakup and is not crying to him for him to come back.
The ex-boyfriend sounds sensible, actually, and his breaking up with her sounds a lot better than a lot of other high-school breakups (certainly my own, which were so fraught with that special brand of teenage drama).
Don't do what my mom did, tell me to not be so "silly" and that I'll get over it and find someone else. She made me feel stupid and wonders why, to this day, I really don't come to her with my problems (I'm 30 now and she's still the same).
This is going to sound so thin, I know. But it works.
Is she on Pinterest? If not, get her on. If so, have her create a private board dedicated to this relationship. She can then pin things that speak to her. It is very therapeutic for adolescent girls to do this. But it is very important that the board be private so that she is experiencing a process rather than putting on a show.
Don't do what my mom did, tell me to not be so "silly" and that I'll get over it and find someone else. She made me feel stupid and wonders why, to this day, I really don't come to her with my problems (I'm 30 now and she's still the same).
I think this is really important. I was just reading something on the depth of high school relationships, the research was showing just how deep these kids' feelings are, it's real even if you look back and they seem silly. Nothing destroyed me quite like the first time I got dumped, for a well loved kid from a good family it may be the first time anyone has truly rejected them, it was for me and it hurt like the devil.
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