13 year old boy with weight issues (teens, average, parents, girls)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hi there,
Our 13 year old son is a great kid ; strives to do well in school and at everything he does. He has been on the wrestling and football team. So now we are facing weight issues ; the loss of weight issues.
He started out in July 2012 weighing 170lbs (he is a tall kid ; 5'9) and most recently this week is down to 136 lbs. I have noticed a bigger loss in the past month or so as wrestling season is kicking in. So I have had his blood checked for thyroid issues (nothing came back, he is normal). I have alerted his teachers, coach and guidance counselor and all are worried for him and available for him at all times. His eating habits have changed ; now he is down to one small yogurt for breakfast, a normal school lunch (teacher does supervise some days) and 2/3 plate of dinner. No snacking, Rarely drinks soda but dos drink iced tea and chews gum a lot. He also spits ( I know it sounds disgusting) a lot.
His friends have said to me that he looks unhealthy, and also other moms have said it. His hands are always cold and he sleeps fully dressed, but with a fan on ; dosnt make sense.
So now I guess we are off to a therapist. Has anyone else faced this issue. I wish I could wrap him in bubble wrap and take all his problems away, but I cant. Yes, I could stop wrestling and I have told him if he is down to 135, he is done with wrestling. Thats one more pound. But it is the only thing he has that he enjoys. However, I hate it and hate the focus on weight. He does excersise at school for wrestling and excersising does seem to have taken over his life. He goes for another weight check on dec 11th ; that was the first available appt with his doctor after the one last week.
Last edited by okaydorothy; 11-03-2013 at 05:41 AM..
Hi there,
Our 13 year old son is a great kid ; strives to do well in school and at everything he does. He has been on the wrestling and football team. So now we are facing weight issues ; the loss of weight issues.
He started out in July 2013 weighing 170lbs (he is a tall kid ; 5'9) and most recently this week is down to 136 lbs. I have noticed a bigger loss in the past month or so as wrestling season is kicking in. So I have had his blood checked for thyroid issues (nothing came back, he is normal). I have alerted his teachers, coach and guidance counselor and all are worried for him and available for him at all times. His eating habits have changed ; now he is down to one small yogurt for breakfast, a normal school lunch (teacher does supervise some days) and 2/3 plate of dinner. No snacking, Rarely drinks soda but dos drink iced tea and chews gum a lot. He also spits ( I know it sounds disgusting) a lot.
His friends have said to me that he looks unhealthy, and also other moms have said it. His hands are always cold and he sleeps fully dressed, but with a fan on ; dosnt make sense.
So now I guess we are off to a therapist. Has anyone else faced this issue. I wish I could wrap him in bubble wrap and take all his problems away, but I cant. Yes, I could stop wrestling and I have told him if he is down to 135, he is done with wrestling. Thats one more pound. But it is the only thing he has that he enjoys. However, I hate it and hate the focus on weight. He does excersise at school for wrestling and excersising does seem to have taken over his life. He goes for another weight check on dec 11th ; that was the first available appt with his doctor after the one last week.
Can you talk to his wrestling coaches? Sometimes kids try to force themselves into weight classes that the coach wouldn't dream of. The kids are not reasonable with how much they can/should weigh. Sometimes boys will listen to their coaches when they will not listen to their parents. It is hard to tell from your post whether the problem is the coach or not. I cannot imagine a coach wanting a boy as tall as your son in the 130s (not sure of the middle school weights).
My son is about the same height as yours although he is a year older (14 and a freshman). He started off before wrestling season at 165 which I thought was a little chubby for him but his doctor said it was an ok weight. He is currently at 155 and wants to wrestle at 152. I think that is a good, healthy weight for him. His doctor was ok with him going to 152 but not to 145. He said that is too light for him.
130s seems very very thin unless your son has a tiny frame. Our coaches do not push the kids to lose unhealthy amounts of weight although weight management is part of wrestling.
For your reference my son eats a small breakfast consisting of fruit or yogurt. He packs a lunch from home consisting of a sandwich, granola bar, fruit and a yogurt drink or he eats the school lunch (they have a nice salad bar with protein choices). For dinner he eats whatever the family eats although he goes light on the starchy stuff. He brings a water bottle to school that he drinks all day. He does not drink anything with calories in it. Sometimes at night he will have some herbal tea. He has been losing weight with this diet and the wresting workouts, but he does not lose at a fast pace. I assume your son would need more food if you want him to gain a little.
I did speak to the wrestling coach who spoke to my son. He does not want him to wrestle 135 ; last year he wrestled 165. My son is also saying to his brother that next year he wants to wrestle 122!! The coach is the same as yours ; he does not want the kids to loose weight to wrestle lighter ; that is totally in my sons mind.
I think that 150 is a very good weight for him ; he does not have a small frame and so 150 is decent. If he brings lunch from home; he brings a sandwich (peanut butter) and a tub of fruit ; strawberries or watermelon. 4 weeks ago he was 150, so loosing 14 lbs in a month for a growing teenager is not a good thing.
Hi there,
Our 13 year old son is a great kid ; strives to do well in school and at everything he does. He has been on the wrestling and football team. So now we are facing weight issues ; the loss of weight issues.
He started out in July 2012 weighing 170lbs (he is a tall kid ; 5'9) and most recently this week is down to 136 lbs. I have noticed a bigger loss in the past month or so as wrestling season is kicking in. So I have had his blood checked for thyroid issues (nothing came back, he is normal). I have alerted his teachers, coach and guidance counselor and all are worried for him and available for him at all times. His eating habits have changed ; now he is down to one small yogurt for breakfast, a normal school lunch (teacher does supervise some days) and 2/3 plate of dinner. No snacking, Rarely drinks soda but dos drink iced tea and chews gum a lot. He also spits ( I know it sounds disgusting) a lot.
His friends have said to me that he looks unhealthy, and also other moms have said it. His hands are always cold and he sleeps fully dressed, but with a fan on ; dosnt make sense.
So now I guess we are off to a therapist. Has anyone else faced this issue. I wish I could wrap him in bubble wrap and take all his problems away, but I cant. Yes, I could stop wrestling and I have told him if he is down to 135, he is done with wrestling. Thats one more pound. But it is the only thing he has that he enjoys. However, I hate it and hate the focus on weight. He does excersise at school for wrestling and excersising does seem to have taken over his life. He goes for another weight check on dec 11th ; that was the first available appt with his doctor after the one last week.
Don't worry so much. Another relevant piece of information is how far along in puberty he is. If his voice has changed, and he has underarm hair, he's about done growing. If not, then I would be more concerned, because I want him to be getting enough calories for growth. The pediatrician is the one to point this out to him - not you. Maybe you can call and get an earlier follow up appt. If his pedi is so busy that he can't give you an appt for six weeks, maybe you need to find someone who is more available. If you look at a pediatric growth chart, he is 92nd percentile in weight for his age, and a little bit above the chart in height for his age. I don't think he's having anorexia because he is still eating normal food. He used to be obese (medical definition is 120% of ideal body weight, so if he was supposed to be 140 at 69 in, then he was obese at 168, and he probably was shorter than 69 inches at the time that he weighed 170). Obviously he is trying to lose weight, probably for wrestling. Most schools now have weigh in only once a year, at the beginning of the season, so that kids don't starve themselves for every meet. I suggest that you have a talk with his wrestling coach. He's probably seen this before. Do NOT take away wrestling from him. Do make sure that you put out healthy low-calorie snacks, such as cut up veggies and fruits, between meals. A meeting with a nutritionist for both of you together is a good idea, so that you can both learn the kind of healthy foods that he can eat that will not cause him to become obese again.
Sorry, while I was composing, the above came in. Definitely move up the meeting with the pedi. Clearly the kid is trying to make weight for wrestling. Does your league weigh only at the beginning of the season, or before every meet? If it's only at the beginning of the season, this will probably stop right after weigh in. Pity his 134 lb opponent at the end of the season, when your son is back up to 155 or higher! If it's before every meet, keep in mind that 135 for 69 inches is not dangerously low at all. For comparison's sake, my teenage skeleton son, who eats as many thousands of calories a day as he can get down (usually six thousand/day or so), is over 6ft 2 in and weighs less than 140, but he's always been very thin. Being thin has NOT stunted his growth - he's still growing. What concerns me more about your son is that he's saying that next year he's going to try for 122 - that's worrisome. Male anorexia does happen, although it's much rarer than in females. However, as a wrestler, he's getting some reward for getting his weight down, much as teen girls and women get a societal reward for being very thin, so it is possible. Definitely move up the follow up with the pedi. If you were going to take him to see anyone else, the person to see is a psychiatrist who has experience with male anorectics. The nearest children's hospital psychiatry department will be able to tell you who that is.
I'm betting the wrestling is the key here. His message about making 122 is very alarming, and it points toward a dangerous mental connection with food.
Some kids are able to wrestle at a weight that is comfortable and easy for them to maintain. But with some boys, they get a message from somewhere that they need to lose in order to be good - even beyond the so-called normal "sweat off a few pounds before the match" mentality.
My BIL went through this in high school, and quitting wrestling was the only solution for him. With certain boys, for whatever reason, the message that "smaller is better" really clicks, and it gets tied into their self-worth.
At that point, he and his parents had to treat it like an addiction. Wrestling was his main trigger, and total separation was the only way to regain his health.
Yup, sounds like it could be related to the wrestling thing, but I also would agree that he needs to see a therapist. Even if you say he's not going to wrestle if he drops a pound below 135, if it's also a control issue with him, it may not be doing anything to address the problem. Did you ever see tendencies like this before he started wrestling? Is it possible someone at school teased him about his weight and that's why he's suddenly become self-conscious? Or do you think he's just driven to get into a different weight class?
I would also see if you can get the coach on board with you to sit down and talk to him about how he needs to gain some weight back. Like maybe if coach says in front of you and son that he's planning to put him in X weight class, so he needs to gain back five pounds, or whatever, that might make a difference. I hate to suggest quitting wrestling since that's the big thing he loves, but honestly, wrestling, much like gymnastics is a sport that can cause a child who may have tendencies towards an eating disorder to have a reason/excuse to go there. It's not that there's anything bad about the sport, just that there IS an emphasis put on weight to a degree that there isn't in other sports. Some kids handle it fine, but others don't.
His BMI is actually in the average range if he is 5'9" and 135 pounds at age 13. Therefore you may not have too much to worry about yet. He also could be losing weight because he is more active. Plus sometimes growing teens go through periods where they just don't eat as much. Then later suddenly they may seem hungry all the time.
That said, the fact that he has lost so much weight so quickly could possibly be a concern. I think it may help to focus more on health and less on his actual weight. If you change the dialogue to talk about eating foods that will give him energy for wrestling, that may help. Focusing too much on a number on a scale may not help. I definitely would not be giving an ultimatum about dropping another pound. He could still drop several pounds and have a healthy weight. The number isn't as important as his overall energy and health.
Depends how far along in "publicity" he is. At the ages of 12 to 15 some kids (boys in particular) get fat for a year or two or three and then BOOM! they lose weight and become skinny. I know I did. I was a skinny little kid weighing 50 lbs for I'd say 4 years and when I hit publicity, I blew up to 160 lbs (before I even grew any taller). One day, at the age of around 15, I got this terrific illness (have no idea what it was...only lasted one day, complete prostration, shaking chills, but a rapid recovery (like, 24 hours); followed by the way, by a second very brief episode of chills like you wouldn't believe [about 3 months later]); in the next 4 to 6 months I turned back into a skinny, then 16 year old, the skinny phase of which (by the way) persisted until I was at least 40, despite eating like a pig all those years.
I gotta feeling its hormones (I think Pineal-Hypothalamus blast - temperature regulation is carried out in the hypothalamus by the way, probably gets secondarily involved). I had a brother and some male friends who had similar experiences. Back off. Get a hobby.
Last edited by TwinbrookNine; 11-03-2013 at 10:01 AM..
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
