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The parents should let this go and keep the focus on helping their son in an emotionally healthy manner.
That's the problem that I'm on the fence with. I want him to give this up, but I also don't want him to be the rebound boy that all the girls use. All I want is to have a happy son with a genuine girlfriend that isn't using him as a pillow as she makes amends with her previous boyfriend. It's extremely frustrating, to say the least
So how were you helping him when they were officially dating and she was "stepping out on him"?
Have you explained to him the importance of boundaries? And that when someone crosses them we must act swiftly to prevent them from continuing to hurt us?
Even at the adult level of dating, it is very hard to tell when your partner is losing interest. It is a very slow process that takes many months, but slowly the other partner notices that he/she is losing interest. By the time the guy notices the girl is acting weird, the relationship is done for. I agree with you mountains, because there is no going back after this point, the boy and girl will never be back together.
That's the problem that I'm on the fence with. I want him to give this up, but I also don't want him to be the rebound boy that all the girls use. All I want is to have a happy son with a genuine girlfriend that isn't using him as a pillow as she makes amends with her previous boyfriend. It's extremely frustrating, to say the least
As I suspected, you are making this about YOU. Think about what's best for him. Which is, to stop talking about it, and keep him busy with other people.
And, the picture outrage would be a lot more credible if your son (and you) were outraged when he got them. To bring them up after the breakup is nothing more than sour grapes revenge. You son knew she sent sexts, and still wanted to date her.
Encourage him to keep busy and forget about her. Since he has already had a couple of bad relationships, maybe he is not ready to be dating. He will only be someone "all the girls use" if he lets that happen. When the time is right, I bet he will meet a lovely young lady.
IMHO, a 16 year old boy should be playing video games and sports, goofing around with his friends, going to the movies in groups, and concentrating on school. He has his whole life ahead of him, and he will probably be involved in other relationships that don't work out. Each one will be another learning experience and make him a stronger person.
Show him that he does not need a girl to be happy.
Last edited by raindrop101; 09-04-2013 at 04:34 PM..
Honestly, I have a hard time believing this is for real ...... but what the heck
Here are the relevant parts as I see it
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolatMO
My 16 year old son
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolatMO
girlfriend from around March of this year until about the end of May.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarolatMO
However, I noticed the relationship was slowly deteriorating.
First and foremost it's a teenage boy. They will have all sorts of wild emotions - including jealousy, anger, etc.
Second - this "relationship" at most was 3 months of dating - of which a good portion must have been dedicated to "slowly deteriorating".
At this point you have a 3 month relationship that is still evoking this much emotion and anger over 5 months later. That's ridiculous.
She was never over her ex and was never that serious about the relationship - she made this very clear. Your son had the option of ending it or continuing on. He chose to continue on, she tried to end it in a passive aggressive manner then ultimately just pulled the plug.
What do you do from here?
Learn and move on - like everything else in life.
Petty revenge and foolish antics that will only bring on more drama add nothing positive to the situation.
You being so involved in this teenage drama doesn't help anything either.
If someone doesn't want to be with him, that's fine - not the end of the world. Find someone who does, because frankly chasing those who treat you poorly is a horrible way to live. Reinforce that message and have him build up his own self worth - that confidence will then lead to better dating activity.
In the end this is a pretty irrelevant situation in the grand scheme of things, but the type of instances that make or break a teenage world for as long as they allow it. Your job is to add some perspective, teach him to appropriately pick himself up and go onto the next. Maybe keep it in mind on how to treat others when the shoe is on the other foot.
He had some ups and downs over a few months - it ended badly but at least he got to see some boobs, so that's nice.
there's something very squirrely about an 18 yr old girl, dating a 15 yr old boy- most girls that age want guys their own age or older-particularly that they have a car
as a parent, take this as a learning opportunity to take the high road, tell him she is bad news and cut all ties immediately
revenge is the worst thing he can do "to get even"
you as the parent, need to back off with the drama....
he needs to recognize, that he only wants revenge because he feels betrayed and is hurt, and throwing gas on a fire wont help- and he also needs to recognize, he fell for a flawed girl,(head case) and use it as a learning experience-to be a little more picky in who he falls for..in the future
we all learn the hard way, thats how we mature
Yes, however our local police force has been cracking down pretty hard on sexting due to a recent teen suicide case in our small town. Also, they're not really deleted, on our AT&T records, we pay extra to be able to see every text message/picture/video sent over MMS. He was planning to print out the records, and bring them to the local police department, and having her imprisoned for sending pornographic images to a minor. He really is hurting about this.
EDIT: He just informed me that the ex is trying to force sex out of her by claiming if she does not complete the act, he will leave her. What a great boy she left my son for........
You do realize that him receiving nudes from her really isn't illegal on his end correct?
She lied to us about her age, and it is impossible to tell as she is very petite. Were it not for her upper body, we would think she was 12 at the most.
I am not fanning the flame, I just don't want my son to become a doormat to be used by girls when their real boyfriend steps out on them. It's happened two times already for him, hence his anger.
Then maybe the problem lies with your son, and not the girls . When someone always complains about having the same problem with multiple people they need to look at themselves. You only are seeing things from his angle, and are only getting 1 side of the story as well. I'm not saying your son is a bad egg or anything, just that there may be some reasons behind why these girls leave him as well.
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He really is hurting about this.
Oh Dew!
. When someone always complains about having the same problem with multiple people they need to look at themselves. You only are seeing things from his angle, and are only getting 1 side of the story as well. I'm not saying your son is a bad egg or anything, just that there may be some reasons behind why these girls leave him as well.
