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Kinda makes you wonder when a 33-year-old man has the same mindset as a 16-year-old. That was half your life ago.
Kinda makes you wonder when someone merely assaults character rather than providing intelligent answers and rebuttal to the questions and statements posted.
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Originally Posted by somebodynew
That is what I suspect comes of being controlled by obedience and rule driven upbringing.
And I suppose that an upbringing devoid of rules and requirements for obeying such (which is commonly called "parenting") is preferable?!
What does this have to do with anything? The kid is not breaking any rules by seeking to report his ex for her lascivious exploits. Had she not sent any naked pictures to someone presently beneath the legal age of consent, there'd be nothing he could do to get her in any trouble. Y'all, with the exception of one or two others here, seem to be missing one gigantic point. This 18-year-old now-ex-girlfriend did something ILLEGAL. Not only is there usually no harm in reporting something illegal, but often it is true that "the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing". So you're suggesting that this girl should get away with the illegal thing she did, just because you find it childish for a teenager to want a little revenge after being mistreated, dumped and publicly dissed?
And I thought I was on planet Earth....
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Originally Posted by Katiana
Yes, the OP's son should accept the situation and move on. If he's angry at the 'other guy', he could (note I did not say SHOULD) take it up with him, not report the girl to the police.
Right. You're talking about a person who is so unscrupulous that he would publicly diss the kid on Facebook. Someone that unstable and devoid of moral fiber won't necessarily stop at a public diss. I say the kid is playing it safe by considering what he's considering. After all, if he does report the girl, he can do so anonymously and there will not be evidence that he's the one who did it. He can always deny it if he gets confronted... and even if he does get confronted, it's no different than if he were to, as you suggested, "take it up with [the other guy]".
Y'all have to explain why you think this 18-year-old girl should get away with sending naked pictures of herself to a 15-year-old boy when such is illegal. Let's face it, busting her now and setting her straight could save her from becoming, for example, one of those teachers who starts messing around with her young male students later on. Spare the rod, spoil the child.
33 years old, actually. However, I do recall my teen years quite vividly. Frankly, in the vast spectrum of what this 16-year-old COULD be doing in response to what happened (including illegal or harmful revenge, moping, self-mutilation, turning to drugs/alcohol/cigarettes, etc), his preferred route is quite superior.
After all, what's a teenager supposed to do? Merely accept it? Perhaps he WOULD have accepted it if the only thing that happened was the girl went back to her ex. In that case it'd be easy enough for any rational person to convince him that the girl was never worth his time if she'd be that flighty. However, if you read the entire original post, you would find that he was provoked by the once-ex-and-now-again-boyfriend because said dude remarked on a public social networking site that the boy was incapable of maintaining a relationship with a girl.
When YOU were a teenager, would YOU have accepted such a harsh public diss without exacting some form of retribution? Doing what he's considering doing might be the only thing that could bust apart that relationship and, in so doing, exact some revenge upon BOTH people who shafted him, all while remaining above board, legal, and harmless. You never know - it could even PROTECT some people in the future.
And I'm sure you NEVER wanted to get revenge on anyone. I hope you're a qualified psychologist. I'm not suggesting that someone in this boy's shoes should always seek revenge; only that his choice to do so in the described way does not seem ill-advised.
Did you even read the original post? Do you remember what it was like to be 16? I did, and I do.
He was PROVOKED on Facebook. He wasn't just dumped. People get dumped all the time. This crossed the line when he got DISSED by the ex-turned-boyfriend on Facebook. Had they just left him alone after the breakup, he probably would have been able to get over being dumped. Thankfully, I was very rarely dumped as a younger man and the one sole time I was dumped for another guy, the result was so laughable that it was essentially its own revenge when everyone else looked at her like she was nuts to choose the other dude over me. Hello revenge, without me having to lift a finger nor say a word. (And I started dating someone else the same day that I got dumped by said girl. That completed the revenge, though I didn't begin dating that other girl out of revenge. That fact made it so much better.)
And did you never take any healthy revenge against anyone in your younger years? I know I did. It was pretty funny sometimes, too... and it never harmed anyone nor landed me in any trouble. This kid sounds like he thinks the way I did at his age.
Actually most people don't spend their time formulating revenge plots, they simply move on. Sometimes that's more difficult than others, but it's the rule not the exception. As I said before this boy has been dumped several times for other guys. So chances are it's something he is doing, and not the other way around.
@ RomaniGypsy-Do it anonymously, and then lie. Sounds like a great idea! It might be hard to lie if it's HIS cell phone the pix were sent to. And first you say she's an adult, then you call her a child. Most states do have exemptions in their laws for people within a few years of age, so what she did may not even be illegal.
Kinda makes you wonder when someone merely assaults character rather than providing intelligent answers and rebuttal to the questions and statements posted.
Here's one. Get over being "dissed" and your life will be easier.
Hi everyone.
To those wondering why my son was dating an 18 year old girl, she is dyslexic and has been held back no less than 6 times. So she is basically in 9th grade and is soon turning 19. I actually didn't like the way the girl acted in the first place, she was very agressive to anyone, including my son. According to her, this stemmed from the fact that one of her early boyfriends turned her into the principal for sending nudes after she dumped him, causing her to "snap" and saying that "[i] can't let anyone get away if they [crossed me]". So a bit of background information.
About the comment about the weight, she is short with a muffin top. And frankly, despite being almost 19, acts like a 13 year old girl in terms of maturity.
According to her, this stemmed from the fact that one of her early boyfriends turned her into the principal for sending nudes after she dumped him, causing her to "snap" and saying that "[i] can't let anyone get away if they [crossed me]". So a bit of background information.
I've read this slowly several times and I still don't know exactly what you meant.
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Originally Posted by CarolatMO
About the comment about the weight, she is short with a muffin top.
That still doesn't explain your two comments that 1.) she is overweight and 2.) she is "very petite."
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Originally Posted by CarolatMO
And frankly, despite being almost 19, acts like a 13 year old girl in terms of maturity.
This is a perfect oppurtunity to teach your own son something about maturity -- that you don't seek revenge against someone for a perceived wrong.
Now you say you saw the nudes come in via text. That would have been the time to do something about it whether it was turn her into the authorities, into the school or just end the relationship with your son. Doing anything now smacks of being a sore loser and getting revenge just for the sake of getting revenge.
She sounds like a real winner though. I can see why your son is so grief stricken over the end of teh relationship.
The more information provided the more I doubt any of this is real ... but still a decent concept to discuss I guess
Sounds like your boy needs a steady dose of self respect
That will not be gained through his revenge plot though
When you really have that self confidence and self respect it becomes very difficult for anyone to "diss" you ...... you learn to not give that power to other people, especially those you particularly don't need to associate with
There was a time where I would go after people if I felt slighted ..... energy and effort spent on revenge - if someone came at me, I'd hit them back at least twice as hard ....... in the end it never really did a whole heck of a lot ... thankfully I outgrew that well before 16
stive to do the best that you can and perform the best that you can and take pride in yourself ...... have the confidence come from there ........ a lot of that HS garbage is typically someone elses insecurities of issues bleeding over into your space - reject their impact and keep your space clean of all such distraction
to carry on for 5 months over a 3 month "relationship" where most of seemed to be downsliding and then to think that her ex-bf that was never out of the picture somehow "stole" the affections of this borderline special needs person without ever contemplating that using that same exact logic that his 3 month period could be viewed as him momentarily "stealing" her from the ex & now current BF is frankly absurd
the more he dwells on this and allows it to impact how he views himself the more damage he is doing to himself ...... put that energy into something productive, like building his own self worth so he doesn't end up in situations like this ...... that way when he expresses that he is incomfortable with her continuing on with her ex while "dating" him and she tells him to eff-off, he will take her up on it and drop her at that time
Your son should feel a little bad that he makes such poor choices in girlfriends.
He should take a step back and try to find a way to make better choices. He should try to find a way to slow down and look for ways to know a girl better before getting so involved. It can be done. You can know a person better before getting so involved. Perhaps he should try being a carefree teen, hanging out with the opposite sex in groups, just having fun with his friends, focus on school and sports and hobbies for awhile. Being so focused on revenge and all these issues, and having a mother doing the same, is incredibly unhealthy. Time to take a step back.
Sons need to be taught that women are not objects to be "stolen".
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