How to keep my son's Father from emotionally hurting him over the topic of 'dolls & girly things'

[JamesDD]

Originally Posted by DewDropInn

He'll HAVE to learn to be independent and you won't have a darn thing to do with it. He's going to grow up knowing he comes in second to a dad who is "reducing the pressure".

He always comes first to me. But since when having a child means you have to stop everything else? And what if he finds another male role model? As long as people treat him well, I have nothing against it.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by Marysbaby83

My son is 3 1/2 yrs old. He enjoys both boys and girls toys equally. His favorite color as of now is pink. He has a brood of dolls he calls his friends. The dolls are equal in number as far as gender goes. His Father and I are not together. However we have what i think is a healthy co-parenting relationship. But we cannot get on the same page on this. I think it's harmless. His Father thinks it is unhealthy for him and that we are only setting him up to be bullied when he goes to school. My son is beginning to feel resentful towards his Father. On the days he is at his Father's house he gets his 'friends' taken away on a regular basis as a form of punishment and also his Father does not allow the dolls to sleep in bed with him at night. My son has said things to me like," My Daddy doesn't love me because i like girl stuff" & " I wish daddy would go away so i wouldn't have to go over there any more". I can't describe how hearing those words out of my son's little 3yr old mouth made me feel. I do my best to explain that his Father does love him very much and only wants the best the for him. I have spoken about this with his Father many times. It never really goes anywhere. No matter what i try to tell him, his stock answers are usually ' we wouldn't even be here right now if you hadn't allowed in the first place' & ' He knows i love him'. Is there anything i could say or do different to try to get through to him? Is there anything i can do help my son with all this? Please ANY advise would be greatly needed and appreciated.

I think you should have discussed basic views on child raising before you had a child together.

Since you didn't, now you are buying your son pink clothes and dolls and his father doesn't approve. Do you really need to encourage your son to wear pink and have a lot of dolls when it's creating issues? Are you sure you didn't wish for a daughter and are dressing a boy in pink to make up for the fact that you didn't get a girl?

[Jaded]

This thread was supposed to offer advice to the OP, not get side-tracked by how other posters choose to raise their children. SMH.