Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Depending on age and what they did, time outs, taking away a privilege, or a natural consequence.
I notice this is your "first" post. Are you trying to stir the pot with a post like this????
I tell him no, I explain why using short simple words, and then I sit and wait while he melts down on the floor, stands up, and then gives me a hug and kiss and says sorry.
Not sure if this will work if your 16 year old is giving you lip. So... context???
Little guy is still only a year and a half, so we don't have the yet. Distraction works for now, but later I think the punishment should be very individualized. Not only should the punishment "fit the crime" (ie: if playing ball in the house, lose the ball for a weekend), but be based on whats important to the child. For example, taking away video games would have no impact on a child that didn't care about video games that much.
Be as creative & personalized as possible.
And have your kids help come up with rules & consequence in advance. They'll be much more likely to follow them if they had a say in making them.
If they can't resolve their conflict, I make mine wear the Get Along Shirt (put them both in one of dh's old t-shirts). Usually, after a few minutes of being "stuck" together, they're laughing hysterically and get over their snit.
Kids make noise. How are they making noise? Making noise doesn't seem like something that requires discipline to me unless I've specifically asked them to be quiet for a reason--e.g. an important work call, etc.
Before you consider appropriate discipline, do your kids know the rules and expectations? Are your rules and expectations realistic?
As far as siblings bickering with each other-I typically let that go and let them work it out. It's a learning experience for them. If it became particularly hateful or physical, then I stepped in. If it became too much to listen to, I would not "punish" them for it. People argue. I never wanted to teach my kids that it was wrong to argue or disagree with a loved one if done appropriately. That's an unrealistic expectation in my opinion.
When the bickering went on for too long, I would step in and make them talk about it. I asked DS to tell me what DD thought and asked DD to tell me what DS thought. I didn't ask them to tell me their side of the problem. I asked them to tell me the other person's viewpoint, as they understood it. With some coaching from me, I made them come up with a solution. No "punishment" involved, and it was a learning moment.
As far as "sassing." It would depend on many things. It didn't usually involve discipline. Again, it involved teaching them why the "way" they spoke to me was wrong. It wasn't that they could not disagree with me. I'm far from perfect and get it wrong sometimes. I don't think "sassing" in and of itself requires punishment. It requires parental time and attention. For example, if my DD was talking back and said some family rule was "dumb" I might ask her why she thought it was dumb. I them would ask her what might happen if we didn't have the rule. Next I would ask her how she felt when people yelled or talked back to her. Then I would ask how she thought I might feel about it. If she couldn't or wouldn't answer these questions, she might, on rare occasions be sent to her room for a short time out. It was always with the explanation that she could come out when she was ready to talk about it.
Sassing and arguing are not "punishment" type behaviors in my opinion. They are opportunities to teach kids the right way to communicate and disagree.
I have only one, basically well-behaved boy, so it isn't so difficult. I don't like to say "punishment," - rather, consequences. I take away stuff - usually deserts, tv shows, stuff he really shouldn't have anyway. I do the counting thing - I count to three and if the behavior hasn't stopped, he loses whatever I said he'd lose. The hard part is sticking to it regardless of the whining and crying (and never taking away anything that you don't think you can really stick to, or something that's too big, like a trip or a favorite toy). It's also important to give fair warning and make sure they understand the exact process of action and consequence, so it's "fair." So far it's working very well, but then my kid is not that difficult right now in the first place.
If siblings bicker they are separated and must play or read in their rooms for a period of time. If they are being rude to their parents, explain that when you are rude to people they do not want to be in your company. Send them to their rooms again. If they are being rude about a chore explain that we cannot do fun things until chores are done and then follow through on that.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
