Would you hire a male au pair? (day care, babies, toddler)

[Amelorn]

Originally Posted by nightcrawler

actually, this statement is a bit offensive.

Originally Posted by Momma_bear

Seriously?

Yes, seriously.

Thanks for jumping down my throat. I wasn't describing my own thoughts, but rather describing broader sentiment.

I find it an offensive sentiment as a 23 year old man. As someone who is the same age

Let's look at some contextual clues:

Men in general are deemed untrustworthy. A couple who won't consider a white guy won't give any other race an especial preference.

Note the "in general" to describe something broadly held/attributed. Also note the use of passive voice, which I hoped would suggest "parties/people who are NOT me."

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by Amelorn

Yes, seriously.

Thanks for jumping down my throat. I wasn't describing my own thoughts, but rather describing broader sentiment.

I find it an offensive sentiment as a 23 year old man. As someone who is the same age

Let's look at some contextual clues:

Men in general are deemed untrustworthy. A couple who won't consider a white guy won't give any other race an especial preference.

Note the "in general" to describe something broadly held/attributed. Also note the use of passive voice, which I hoped would suggest "parties/people who are NOT me."

You may have meant that, but it is not what you said. One of the reasons the passive voice unacceptable is that it is confusing.

[Hopes]

I'm losing my mind over the responses that people might chose a male for their sons but not their daughters.

If you're worried about molestation, boys are at risk too. Maybe even greater risk.

It's downright unsettling that society views nurturing males as a danger.

[no kudzu]

But Hopes, how do we know this particular or any particular male is nurturing?

All things being equal I would rather have a female sitter for my children who are 11 year old girls.

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by no kudzu

But Hopes, how do we know this particular or any particular male is nurturing?

All things being equal I would rather have a female sitter for my children who are 11 year old girls.

I can understand people who feel a male might not be as nurturing as a female. What disturbs me is the idea that people see all males as sexual predators.

[Zimbochick]

If I was to hire an au pair, personality would rank a lot higher than gender. And common sense before credentials.

We have had teen babysitters of both genders, and the kids preferred the male babysitters who were far more engaging with the kids (one boy, one girl).

Quite a few working families around here use teenaged nannies over the summer, and friends of ours use siblings who switch off during the summer. A boy and a girl for their boy and girl.

As with all things to do with safety, my opinion is to give children as many tools as possible to keep themselves safe. Assuming that all strange men are a potential threat is not only paranoid, but doesn't address the real statistical threat, close friends and family.

[spencgr]

Originally Posted by no kudzu

But Hopes, how do we know this particular or any particular male is nurturing?

The same way you would know any particular girl was nurturing. You check references and watch them spend time with your children.

[somebodynew]

Originally Posted by Momma_bear

I can understand people who feel a male might not be as nurturing as a female. What disturbs me is the idea that people see all males as sexual predators.

I can't. I find this whole thread horrifying.

[Natsku]

I've known a few males that were very nurturing and who I think would make great au pairs or babysitters, definitely no reason to believe a male would less nurturing than a female.

[Sage 80]

No, I would not hire a male au pair.