How do high schoolers (9th) pass time during summer? (babysitting, teenage, clothes)
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I think it must be an American thing to control their teenagers' summers. I just don't understand it but I guess its a cultural difference. But I doubt American teenagers are either more prone or less prone to bad behaviour than European teenagers so I don't see what difference it can make. Sure if you don't trust your teenager to be alone in the summer then you need to make sure they are doing something to keep them out of trouble but otherwise I think it would be better to trust them to make wise decisions on their own as soon they will be on their own.
Why do you you think signing your kid up for a class or encouraging him to walk dogs or mow lawns is "micromanaging?" I didn't see anyone here say that they go door to door with their 14 year old to help him get odd jobs, or hold his hand and walk him to summer school class. I am really curious why you think the ideas proposed here are so awful, yet in the other thread you think a high school graduate should be treated like an adult, not a kid. It is interesting when you think of them together. You don't think a 14 year old should have any responsibility, yet an 18 year old should take full responsibility. How do you propose getting from point a to point b?
Great point Kibbie.
While I don't think a 14 yr old who can't find a summer job and spends their days hanging with friends at the pool is the worst situation, that isn't what the OP said. In his case, the boy doesn't see friends outside of school. Leaving him home alone for weeks on end would be very isolating, and I don't see how it could possibly be in his best interest to condone it.
Why do you you think signing your kid up for a class or encouraging him to walk dogs or mow lawns is "micromanaging?" I didn't see anyone here say that they go door to door with their 14 year old to help him get odd jobs, or hold his hand and walk him to summer school class. I am really curious why you think the ideas proposed here are so awful, yet in the other thread you think a high school graduate should be treated like an adult, not a kid. It is interesting when you think of them together. You don't think a 14 year old should have any responsibility, yet an 18 year old should take full responsibility. How do you propose getting from point a to point b?
ETA re your first post in this thread, you said what's wrong with allowing them to work a part time job of their choosing. 14 year olds can't always get a "real" job, but who said they couldn't work a part time job of their choosing? I think what your said about working part time and spending some time with friends at the pool is just fine. I don't know how you jumped from the OP to micromanaging our kids lives. What you proposed is pretty much what the rest of us said. I don't know what you are so excited about.
Thanks Kat.
That's just the point - kids are only carefree for a very short time - and I personally believe allowing them space to develop is smart. I also think that 14 year-olds can get jobs, despite the economy if they WANT to work . . .and I think work is a good thing. A part-time job is good for teens - AND so is lounging about, sleeping in.
Here's an article that I think has a lot of good ideas...some have been mentioned by other posters, some have not. Read on:
Quote:
It's a fact of life today that most teens will be on their own during the long days of summer. With parents working and extended families rarely living in the same town, it's inconvenient if not impossible to have young people supervised when school is out. Fortunately, there are ways to make summer relaxed and productive for parents and teens alike. The keys are communication and planning.
That's just the point - kids are only carefree for a very short time - and I personally believe allowing them space to develop is smart. I also think that 14 year-olds can get jobs, despite the economy if they WANT to work . . .and I think work is a good thing. A part-time job is good for teens - AND so is lounging about, sleeping in.
So what is your big issue with what people have suggested here? How is anyone micromanaging?
I think it must be an American thing to control their teenagers' summers. I just don't understand it but I guess its a cultural difference. But I doubt American teenagers are either more prone or less prone to bad behaviour than European teenagers so I don't see what difference it can make. Sure if you don't trust your teenager to be alone in the summer then you need to make sure they are doing something to keep them out of trouble but otherwise I think it would be better to trust them to make wise decisions on their own as soon they will be on their own.
That's a pretty big leap you're making there.
Not one person in this thread has suggested "controlling" this kid's life, scheduling him from dawn to dusk, etc.
In my experience as a parent of teens (now grown) 14 going on 15 is a little young to leave home alone, 10 hours a day, five days a week, with absolutely no plans for occupying his time. So the mom asked for some suggestions for things he could do. We responded in kind.
Not one person in this thread has suggested "controlling" this kid's life, scheduling him from dawn to dusk, etc.
In my experience as a parent of teens (now grown) 14 going on 15 is a little young to leave home alone, 10 hours a day, five days a week, with absolutely no plans for occupying his time. So the mom asked for some suggestions for things he could do. We responded in kind.
A lot of stuff suggested in this thread sounds like controlling to me but this is from my perspective, coming from a background where parents let teenagers make their own decisions about how they spend their summers so it is controlling compared to that, not meaning controlling every single aspect of their day.
My kids had basketball camp, football camp, soccer camp, and pretty much hung out and watched TVall day. This was years ago, before iInternet was so big.
A lot of stuff suggested in this thread sounds like controlling to me but this is from my perspective, coming from a background where parents let teenagers make their own decisions about how they spend their summers so it is controlling compared to that, not meaning controlling every single aspect of their day.
I don't think anyone has said the kid would have zero input on how his time is spent. All I see is parents acknowledging that there would be some expectations of their teen, whether it is chores around the house, a part time job, volunteering, or summer school. No one said they would plan their teen's schedule from dawn to dusk so they'd have no free time, and no say in what they were expected to do. I don't know where a couple of you are getting this "controlling" and "micromanaging" thing. I don't see it.
If your teen made the decision to sleep until noon, and spend the rest of the day playing video games or making out with their girl friend or boyfriend while you were gone at work, would that be acceptable to you?
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I don't know what you are so excited about. 
