What's the appropriate amount of affection for a teen girl and her dad?
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No, I wasn't introverted, I was simply discreet. I would actually be disgusted if my father ever touched me and it wouldn't cross his mind to show us "affection".
And no, he never hit me because I had much more respect for my mother. I never really throwed tantrums. He used to beat up my brother though. The only guy I truly appreaciate is my paternal grandfather.
*shakes head* You can understand why many here don't accept your advice...it does not sound like your family was terribly functional and does not sound like you even know what it would have been like to be hugged by your father. Children who are hugged by both parents know love is acceptable from both mothers and fathers.
*shakes head* You can understand why many here don't accept your advice...it does not sound like your family was terribly functional and does not sound like you even know what it would have been like to be hugged by your father. Children who are hugged by both parents know love is acceptable from both mothers and fathers.
My family was completely normal apart from my father. But it was better that way. I'd rather not have contact with people like him.
You can only have one parent babying the child and that should be the mother. Otherwise, you are turning them into pathetic sissies.
Any basis for this opinion whatsoever or is it just something you pulled out of one of your orifices for a cheap laugh?
I certainly have seen no evidence of any kind to suggest that an above average level of displayed affection from either (or both) parents has any such effects on the outcome of a childs upbringing.
The thread is about the appropriate amount of affection between a parent and a child. If you feel "none" is the answer it would be interesting to know the basis for such a position.
I'm new to this board and my name is Sarah. I've been dealing with an issue lately. My husband has always been very affectionate with our teen daughter. She's what I guess you would call a daddy's girl. She like to sit on his lap and he does give her hugs and kisses regularly. Well she going to turn 13 in a couple of months and she's started to develop. She's beginning to grow breasts and pubic hair and is becoming more interested in boys. Coinciding with this is the fact that she no longer wants to sit on her dads lap and become embarrassed if he wants to kiss her.
My husband is naturally hurt by all this. I tell him that she'll get over it and time and he can hug her and kiss her on the cheeks again but she probably won't sit on his lap (although I must say that I've seen teen girls and even some women in their 20s sit on their dads lap). So what it boils down to is this, what is the appropriate kind of affection between a teenage girl and her dad?
So she doesn't want to sit on his lap, and is embarrassed when he kisses her?..sounds like a normal teen to me...not so normal that your husband would feel hurt by it...doesn't he want his daughter to grow up?, cause he better get used to it....What's appropriate is what your daughter feels comfortable with...they can talk, confide, do things together...he just has to accept that she's growing up and won't be "daddy's lil girl" for much longer.
I think it's normal that he would feel hurt by it, especially if it comes off as rejection from your child
However, both emotions/reactions are fine
I love having my kids cuddle in, sometimes take a nap, read a book, watch a program, little chats, etc ..... they are only 2 & 3, but I know that this will continue to evolve over time and you can't get that time back
He could be having trouble accepting that reality - remind him that they have a long time ahead of them and their relationship will develop in different ways and manifest in different ways ...... does he really want a 35 year old daughter that wants to sit on his lap on the couch? The path to adulthood is accelerating and it's the age where physical/emotional changes are ramping up
Think back to how you were at that age and what you felt comfortable with in how you expressed anything.
She is going to start putting her life into compartments more and more as she ages and parents aren't going to share a lot of space with friends, public affection, etc.
Stay supportive, stay interested and find different ways to bond and have him show that he cares. There will be the moments where she will go mean girl on him as well, just as long as he expects it, remains grounded and knows that these moments will pass and their relationship will hinge on how he reacts.
As mentioned, the appropriate amount of space is the space she is comfortable with. He can still say "I love you", etc even if she doesn't feel inclined to return the gesture .... it's the age of space and support though
Just wanted to share something...for your husband. When I reached that age, after having been daddy's girl, my father apparently did not know how to interact with me,. uncomfortable (This was many yrs ago and I do get it is was a difficult for him). He therefore responded by having very little to do with me as a growing teen/young woman. Though I wasn't able at the time to identify this, a feeling of abandonment was prevalent throughout the yrs.
So please dads-just don't withdraw due to your hurt or uncomfortable feelings! It is a process of letting go for you...figure out how best to continue showing your love, in whatever way you feel is satisfactory for you both.
Best part though-
your daughters will always adore you....
always
Quote:
Originally Posted by JasonB12
I'm new to this board and my name is Sarah. I've been dealing with an issue lately. My husband has always been very affectionate with our teen daughter. She's what I guess you would call a daddy's girl. She like to sit on his lap and he does give her hugs and kisses regularly. Well she going to turn 13 in a couple of months and she's started to develop. She's beginning to grow breasts and pubic hair and is becoming more interested in boys. Coinciding with this is the fact that she no longer wants to sit on her dads lap and become embarrassed if he wants to kiss her.
My husband is naturally hurt by all this. I tell him that she'll get over it and time and he can hug her and kiss her on the cheeks again but she probably won't sit on his lap (although I must say that I've seen teen girls and even some women in their 20s sit on their dads lap). So what it boils down to is this, what is the appropriate kind of affection between a teenage girl and her dad?
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