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I remember when I was 7 there were a few boys in my class who were the biggest babies. Then I noticed when their dads picked them up at school they went running for a hug. Then it made sense.
I'll venture a guess that you were what they were running from - sounding a bit like a bully, you are. Every human needs the reassurance that there is someone bigger and stronger who can protect them and care for them until they are able to do so for themselves. It is particularly important for a boy to have a loving father so that he will be able to emulate the man when the boy is grown.
A young girl and her Dad will usually have the kind of relationship that she decrees and while respecting boundaries, Dad can evidence his love in other ways - a gentle touch on the shoulder or holding a hand - with no further overture unless she pursues it.
I'll venture a guess that you were what they were running from - sounding a bit like a bully, you are. Every human needs the reassurance that there is someone bigger and stronger who can protect them and care for them until they are able to do so for themselves. It is particularly important for a boy to have a loving father so that he will be able to emulate the man when the boy is grown.
A young girl and her Dad will usually have the kind of relationship that she decrees and while respecting boundaries, Dad can evidence his love in other ways - a gentle touch on the shoulder or holding a hand - with no further overture unless she pursues it.
LOL I was the quietest kid you can imagine. Never bullied anyone. I'm sure most of those guys today can't deal with any hard difficulties because their father, who was supposed to have a strong hand on them, babied them too much.
LOL I was the quietest kid you can imagine. Never bullied anyone. I'm sure most of those guys today can't deal with any hard difficulties because their father, who was supposed to have a strong hand on them, babied them too much.
OMG....this is a lost cause! That is a very broad brush you use.....
There is a difference between discipline and affection/nurture. No one is saying that you shouldn't discipline a child but that doesn't mean that you cannot show them love. They are not mutually exclusive. My girls love their father and like to cuddle with him on the couch, read with him at bedtime, get tickled, give kisses and hugs, etc. But believe me, they know when he means business. They are not coddled or babied....they are loved.
After the first few months of life, mushiness from fathers should stop. It's absolutely creepy.
I disagree with this entirely. My husband kisses our toddlers every day and it's sweet and loving. If you think that's "creepy"...maybe you're having creepy thoughts.
No but that's what I would do if I had children. You can only have one parent babying the child and that should be the mother. Otherwise, you are turning them into pathetic sissies.
You are just wrong.
It's been proven that aloof dads do more damage to kids, especially sons, that lead them to have relationship issues as adults, including abandonment issues or avoiding commitment. It also leads to anxiety and a lack of confidence in kids.
Moderator Cut.
Last edited by Jaded; 05-11-2013 at 01:30 AM..
Reason: Personal attack.
LOL I was the quietest kid you can imagine. Never bullied anyone. I'm sure most of those guys today can't deal with any hard difficulties because their father, who was supposed to have a strong hand on them, babied them too much.
"Quietest kid you can imagine"...so you were an introverted kid. Perhaps because you lacked self esteem because your father didn't show you affection?
"Supposed to have a strong hand on them"...so you were quiet because you were hit by your father? Or did you mean something else when you said that?
"Quietest kid you can imagine"...so you were an introverted kid. Perhaps because you lacked self esteem because your father didn't show you affection?
"Supposed to have a strong hand on them"...so you were quiet because you were hit by your father? Or did you mean something else when you said that?
No, I wasn't introverted, I was simply discreet. I would actually be disgusted if my father ever touched me and it wouldn't cross his mind to show us "affection".
And no, he never hit me because I had much more respect for my mother. I never really throwed tantrums. He used to beat up my brother though. The only guy I truly appreaciate is my paternal grandfather.
Moderator Cut. Surely you can understand, though, that watching a few kids during one particular phase of childhood is not an appropriate basis for shaping a child's self image?
Last edited by Jaded; 05-11-2013 at 01:28 AM..
Reason: Personal attack
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