I don't know how I should feel about this (brother, rash, effect)
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She's really nice to her friends and family and we see them often. She isn't who she is around me that she is around other people. I have an older sister and she and my wife get along fine. When she's around them she's the old her.
She's really nice to her friends and family and we see them often. She isn't who she is around me that she is around other people. I have an older sister and she and my wife get along fine. When she's around them she's the old her.
So friends and family don't see how she treats you?
If it wasn't for the fact she doesn't work, I'd tell you to leave her azz. It'll only financially *&^$% you to do so. I say treat her as she treats you. What can she complain about?
He woke me up this morning and wanted to talk. I took him out to breakfast. Despite the fact that he really wanted to talk about my marriage and the counseling. I told him to let his mom and I work on that and that he needs to work on college and career plans. Turns out he's been grounded for a week for putting his feet on the table and being up at 1 AM. We started talking about his girlfriend who he says he really loves and wishes I'd get to know her "like how Mom knows her". I told him I'd try to be more open minded towards her. I told her when I got home that 1 week for having his feet up was outrageous and that all that really should've been made out of that, at most would be " feet down". She responded with " Fine, you deal with him". I feel pretty good right now, I had a good talk and I feel like I talked to her assertively yet respectfully while still standing up for myself.
I've been reading this whole thread. Seriously...this is ridiculous.
If you want to help your son, get him out of the house. Tell him he has two weeks to find an alternative and get him out. He will never grow up by being treated like a child. You can continue family therapy with him, but he needs to get a job and get out.
As for your wife...I understand you think your wife's life was just peachy when you left to go off to college. She got to stay home and play with your son all the time and whatever else you said. But, from your wife's point of view, you abandoned her and quite possibility had the opportunity for the kind of life SHE wanted - college, education, a career, independence, money, self-respect. Until you realize that she is still angry at you for that decision (despite the fact that she told you to go, etc.), you will never repair this relationship.
It doesn't matter if you think her feelings are factual or valid or that she told you to go to college 20 years ago. I would bet money that her feelings are routed in that time and you must acknowledge that she feels what she feels - whether you meant to abandon her or not. You need to go back to that time and discuss what happened if you want to move forward.
At the very least though, for goodness sakes, get your son out of the house and let him grow up.
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