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Hello Everyone.. I am having my second child in September. After a long battle with my hubby and son... 10 years later... I have decided to have another kid
Well I am starting to plan my baby shower. Yes I am doing it myself. First thing is.. I do NOT want to open gifts. I think it’s so boring and a waste of time. We only have the rental hall for a few hours and I rather spend that hour or so dancing and partying!! For once my mother agrees with me. But my friends and some family says its wrong for me not to open gifts. I know my family can be funny so is there a way that I can get away with not opening gifts and not have my guest offended?
Also my son will be 10, I will not be asking for gifts for him but I do want to sing happy birthday to him.. His birthday is a few days and all of our family will be there. I feel people will say something about this also, but I do want to acknowledge my son's 10th birthday somehow.
Ha, sorry, don't mean that as flip as it sounds above. Could you just have word passed around that if they wish to get a gift to please have it sent to your home. That way people who want to purchase something know you prefer not to have gifts at the event.
Or seriously, just make it a "no gifts" listing on the invitation. Those who really really want to get something can call to get information and be told to please send it to your house instead of bringing it with you.
Honestly, it sounds like you're throwing yourself a giant gift grab. When it comes to showers, someone else does the hosting for that very reason. You open gifts there, and thus show your appreciation to the people who brought them - so you want them to buy you gifts, but not give them the opportunity to be thanked personally? And if you plan on telling people it will also be in celebration of your son's birthday... I just don't know. People will likely be offended.
A lot of people who want to do something for themselves do a "meet the baby" sort of thing at their house or a hall after the baby is born, which is a bit more socially acceptable. People can choose to bring gifts, or not. At least, that was fairly common when I lived in NYC (then again, I never went to a shower for someone's second child, it was one of those "first kid" things, and then "meet the baby" for subsequent kids).
I would make the 10 year old's birthday a separate event. He needs to know that he's not being replaced by the baby, or that you won't care more about the baby than you do about him. Give him a small party with some of his friends, instead of combining his birthday with the baby shower. You have some flexibility about when to schedule the shower, it doesn't have to be a couple of days before his birthday.
Open gifts. It's a part of the shower and people want to see you do it, even if you find it boring. I do recommend making it snappy and enlisting a friend to help you move the gifts to the side, keep them organized and record who they are from so the whole process doesn't take to long because it is kinda boring.
I agree that the 10 year olds b-day is a different event and should be celebrated as so. I find showers for second kids pretty common when there is a sizable gap (like 10 years) between kids. I'm not offended by this.
It's going to look reeeeeally tacky if you throw yourself a party, accept gifts, and then just have everyone sing Happy Birthday for your son. Who has no gifts. Even though it's his birthday. And you're his mom. And moms usually think about their son's birthday (and happiness) before they think of themselves. With a big ol' party for..... mom.
If you aren't worried about tacky, then just have everyone bring gifts, pile them up in a corner, have all the party stuff for you, say, "Oh yeah. Happy birthday to Junior. Let's sing." Then pile all the loot in your car and open it all up when you have time.
Thank you all for the suggestions.. I didn’t realize how not opening gifts would offend so many people!!
The reason why I am doing it myself is because my granny who has passed away was the event planner. No one will make it special like she would. So yes, I rather do it myself.
I always figured attendees thought it was boring while gifts are being opened. No one ever pays attention. I have seen people leaving during this part of the shower or eat (again) or just have side conversations during this process. Never realized how much it made the event! I really just want everyone to have a good time. That’s my main focus!! And if gift opening seems to be fun (to some) then I guess I will make it quick!
As far as my son, his birthday its 3 after the shower, and I do plan on doing something special for him as well. I just thought it would be nice to sing to him as well so he doesn't feel left out during the shower.
Honestly, it sounds like you're throwing yourself a giant gift grab. When it comes to showers, someone else does the hosting for that very reason. You open gifts there, and thus show your appreciation to the people who brought them - so you want them to buy you gifts, but not give them the opportunity to be thanked personally? And if you plan on telling people it will also be in celebration of your son's birthday... I just don't know. People will likely be offended.
A lot of people who want to do something for themselves do a "meet the baby" sort of thing at their house or a hall after the baby is born, which is a bit more socially acceptable. People can choose to bring gifts, or not. At least, that was fairly common when I lived in NYC (then again, I never went to a shower for someone's second child, it was one of those "first kid" things, and then "meet the baby" for subsequent kids).
I agree with this.
Customarily, people do not throw their own showers. They are supposed to be hosted by a loved one as not be perceived as a "Come buy me presents" type of event.
Furthermore, showers are typically only thrown for 1st babies only. Kind of like a "Welcome to motherhood" party.
For these reasons, unfortunately I think what you are doing is going to come of as extremely tacky and leave a bad taste in people's mouth. Especially if you the turn around and say "hey it's my other kid's birthday too so that's got to be acknowledged". People are going to feel expected to give yet another gift.
I agree that a more casual "Meet the baby" type get together after the baby is born is best.
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