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I would like to hear what the teacher(s) are saying/doing about this as well. If it is happening on their time, they should have some plan for how to deal with it.
I think it is great for kids to play soccer, but I don't know if that is necessarily the best activity for kids who are having trouble controlling their behavior. I have two kids who play soccer, including a 6-year-old. It seems like each season my kids run into a player or two who is overly aggressive and hits or pushes or does other physical things that break the rules and cause problems. These kids create headaches for everyone.
If you want him to play soccer, you will have to make it very clear that there is a lot of potential for physical contact. He has to understand the difference between unintentional contact--say when two kids are trying to get the ball at the same time and they bang into each other--and intentional contact. Intentional pushing, hitting, tripping etc. will cause all kinds of grief. Just this past weekend, we had an entire soccer game get disrupted because of one 6-year-old boy who could not control his behavior. He angered the coaches, parents and players, and frankly his behavior was totally out of step with the other kids.
This may be because overall I have to say most kids I have seen don't hit much to get their way once they reach first grade. That seems more common in toddlers and some young preschoolers. If your son is doing this, then I agree you need help from the teacher. I also am wondering if he has a history of hitting someone else in the family when he gets mad (or if he always just gets his way at home so that the parents don't have to deal with him being upset?). I would be surprised if he hits other kids but he doesn't display the same behavior in other settings. That would make me wonder if the other kids are being mean to him or something.
No, he has never hit anybody in our family, or our cat. He is a kind hearted kid and very polite.
It is just once he gets around a bunch of other kids he sometimes "looses it". I went to the school today to pick my son up. Him and another boy wanted to go and play in the school play ground afterwards. As I observed my son I noriced how he gets overly excited. He runs and jumps and never really slows down. I noticed how he at one point threw his arm out and hit the boy in the chest. The other boy doesn't seem to care and they start to run away together. Because I saw this I call him over and ask why he hit that boy and he tells me that they were playing catch. I also talk to his teacher and she tells me that sometimes he has a hard time keeping his hands and feet to himself.
It seems like he has alot of friends in school and they all say hello to him and smile when they see him. But once he starts to play he just don't know his limits.
Like I said, at home and with other family he is very respectful and not violent at all.
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I would try taking him places where there are other kids - train tables at bookstores, playgrounds, climbing areas at fast food places - and watch and gently address his actions while you are there. If there is another child in your neighborhood that you can invite over, that would help a lot.
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OP, since you are not working outside the home and your son is at a new school, I suggest doing some networking with the other parents who come to school at drop off time or pick up. At our school, many kids play on the playground after school and the stay at home parents hang out chatting and getting to know each other. You can help him make friends by making your own new friends with the school parents.
OP, since you are not working outside the home and your son is at a new school, I suggest doing some networking with the other parents who come to school at drop off time or pick up. At our school, many kids play on the playground after school and the stay at home parents hang out chatting and getting to know each other. You can help him make friends by making your own new friends with the school parents.
I actually did talk and made plans with one parent today. He had a good day in school today but tomorrow is another day.
So, hitting is only wrong if he does it? You give him a swat and at the same time say "We don't hit, hitting is wrong?".
Why is it okay for you to do it, if it's so wrong?
How is it you're unable to get you're point across without a swat, but you expect the child to?
It makes about as much sense to me as sitting down a child that curses and saying "We don't ****ing swear in this house, okay?".
No it doesn't make as much sense as cursing and say don't curse.
Swats are not hitting.
The child is not swatting once at school.
Discipline is a necessary part of life.
As I said before if she can accomplish the time out without the swat go ahead and try.
One swat is not abuse and I again say shame on all you who think it is detrimental.
As Mark Twain was fond of saying there are lies, damned lies, and statistics to support whatever we ascribed to. We can all find studies we like, I have them too.
Ok, here are some updates. There has been no reports on hitting but today one parent walks up to me and says that her little boy had told her my son bothered him in school last week. I ask my son and he says he don't remember. This is the same boy who said my son pushed him before. I first found it odd that this boy makes this claims but nobody sees it happening. But when i talked to the teacher today she tells me my son has a hard time keeping his hands to himself. He is doing his school work and listen to teacher but he will not stop touching his class mates. It drives me crazy. How do i teach him to keep his hands to himself.
I feel like im the only person with this problem.
Ok, here are some updates. There has been no reports on hitting but today one parent walks up to me and says that her little boy had told her my son bothered him in school last week. I ask my son and he says he don't remember. This is the same boy who said my son pushed him before. I first found it odd that this boy makes this claims but nobody sees it happening. But when i talked to the teacher today she tells me my son has a hard time keeping his hands to himself. He is doing his school work and listen to teacher but he will not stop touching his class mates. It drives me crazy. How do i teach him to keep his hands to himself.
I feel like im the only person with this problem.
You are certainly not the only one with this kind of problem.
Your son may have sensory issues that need to be addressed, btw. I would suggest finding an OT (occupational therapist) who is versed in sensory issues and who can evaluate him to see what he might need.
Read The Out-of-Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz (you should be able to get it at the library) and see if any of the symptoms resonate with what you see your child doing both at home and at school. Then pick up The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun by the same author for activities you can do that will get him the sensory input he needs to control himself in situations where the input is not available.
Many little boys have no real idea of personal space and you can also work on that. Try some games where you use a small hula hoop to represent personal space and the kids have to keep inside the circle. After they do it with a hula hoop, you can try the games without it and they can generalize it to keeping their hands inside the circle.
There is a great book with games for 3 to 5 year olds that is available from NAEYC. The games teach all kinds of skills that we usually expect kids to just pick up, but many kids need help with them. This includes focusing, body awareness, etc. The book is Follow Me, Too by Marianne Torbert and Lynne Schneider Follow Me Too: A Handbook of Movement Activities for Three- to Five-Year-Olds | NAEYC Online Store
It is intended for use by teachers, but it is a good book for parents as well especially if you have some other kids in the neighborhood who would enjoy playing the games with you.
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