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To the op- in answer to your question for the last couple of years after grad school, I have been working with at risk children-displaying many of the behaviors your son is. Right now I am finishing up a k12 special ed credential and most recently taught high school, though I worked with kids your sons age and younger before that. I do NOT think corporal (spanking) punishment is the way ti go. He needs to learn more appropriate ways of dealing with other kids. this is where you can model these behaviors and discuss inappropriate behavior. you can practice what IS appropriate in a safe non judgmental environment by role playing with him.
Thanks to all of you. I read all your posts and I realize that punish him is nota good idea. But at the same time I want him to understand that violent behavior is not accepted.
Today we signed him for a soccer team for 5-7 year old. I am going to try my hardest to change the way I do things.
Good luck and good for you! In addition to the great suggestion as about team sports and socializing opportunities with same-aged peers, I love the suggestions about role-playing. At six, even if socializing with other kids is out of his realm of routine experience, you can help him learn the steps of social problem solving (e.g., what to do when he wants to play, what to do when someone takes something from him) and practice the proposed solution (have him help you come up with the solution, with you giving more input at first and then fading it over time so he is giving more input). Let me do a little searching and see if I can find a few resources, but I agree with PPs that getting him experience with other kids, like with soccer, will probably help a ton.
ETA: Ok, So the reference for the Steps for Solving Problems is a magnet on my fridge (from the committee for children - a nonprofit focused on social and academic success for young learners; Committee for Children | Skills for Social and Academic Success - there's some good research there, but feel free to ignore the store. The problem solving steps are standard paradigm, language adjusted for kids.):
1. What is the problem?
2. What are some solutions?
3. For each solution, ask yourself:
a) Is it safe?
b) How might people feel about it?
c) Is it fair?
d) Will it work?
4. Is it working? If not, what can I do now?
Last edited by eastwesteastagain; 09-22-2012 at 04:09 PM..
Reason: clarification
Well you are doing it all wrong. Throw out all the ideas and start teaching your kid how to be a kid, how to play, how to have fun, how to be himself. A single kid must be given the opportunity to learn what kids that develope in a group know by instinct. You have to be not only mom or dad but brother or sister. It will take additional time and focus on people skills acquirement.
He needs to be active. I suggest swimming lessons, soccer, and give him back his toys. No wonder he is with you all the time, he has nothing to do!
Children act out externally for internal problems, because they lack the cognitive processing skills and expressive language to discuss their problems. I think that the moving and chnages have been hard on him. And I think you are being too harsh, and have higher expectations of behavior than is developmentally appropriate for him. He is a bit delayed in social skill development. Give the kid a break. And get him a pet. Maybe a cat.
He needs to be active. I suggest swimming lessons, soccer, and give him back his toys. No wonder he is with you all the time, he has nothing to do!
Children act out externally for internal problems, because they lack the cognitive processing skills and expressive language to discuss their problems. I think that the moving and chnages have been hard on him. And I think you are being too harsh, and have higher expectations of behavior than is developmentally appropriate for him. He is a bit delayed in social skill development. Give the kid a break. And get him a pet. Maybe a cat.
I wrote this a few posts up.
"Originally Posted by glass_of_merlot Thanks to all of you. I read all your posts and I realize that punish him is nota good idea. But at the same time I want him to understand that violent behavior is not accepted. Today we signed him for a soccer team for 5-7 year old. I am going to try my hardest to change the way I do things."
Well you are doing it all wrong. Throw out all the ideas and start teaching your kid how to be a kid, how to play, how to have fun, how to be himself. A single kid must be given the opportunity to learn what kids that develope in a group know by instinct. You have to be not only mom or dad but brother or sister. It will take additional time and focus on people skills acquirement.
"Originally Posted by glass_of_merlot Thanks to all of you. I read all your posts and I realize that punish him is nota good idea. But at the same time I want him to understand that violent behavior is not accepted.
Today we signed him for a soccer team for 5-7 year old. I am going to try my hardest to change the way I do things."
IS this wrong???I am confused. What else can I do??
"Originally Posted by glass_of_merlot Thanks to all of you. I read all your posts and I realize that punish him is nota good idea. But at the same time I want him to understand that violent behavior is not accepted.
Today we signed him for a soccer team for 5-7 year old. I am going to try my hardest to change the way I do things."
IS this wrong???I am confused. What else can I do??
No, ignore the posters who don't offer advice and just tell you you are wrong. You are changing what you do and that is good. Sometimes people post without reading the whole thread and sometimes they post without serious thinking about what you asked. You should be fine.
It is a necessary tool. I totally don't understand the logic that was used to dispel the discipline of a swat. If you can't control yourself from a swat turning into abuse then that's your choice. I, however can and do. Life is hard and children need to deal with reality to succeed.
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(from the committee for children - a nonprofit focused on social and academic success for young learners; 
