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You didn't do anything wrong - this entire things was blown up all out of proportion. The parent's response was extreme and she overreacted. I am wondering what about that was not obvious.
It is true that we can easily get in trouble believing what a child says about what he is allowed to do.
This happened with my granddaughter's best friend when he was 8 and she was 7. Note that it could have turned out a lot worse and we learned not to trust what he says. My son and dil were watching the kids at our neighborhood pool. My granddaughter is an good swimmer and is allowed to jump in off the diving board. There are good alert life guards and my dil and son were both in the water. Her friend wanted to jump off the diving board as well. We asked him if he could swim and he said yes. Unfortunately that was not true. He jumped off to his parents, but only when they were close enough to catch him. When he jumped off the diving board, he had to be rescued. It was done quickly and you would think that he would be taught a lesson, but he thought he could go right back and do it again. We took him home immediately and talked to his parents. They are still good friends with my dil and ds which is good because they live next door. We now know never to take this boy's word for anything and always check with his parents.
What do you want to apologize for? Just because she's mad at you, doesn't mean you owe her an apology. Her son lied. If she wants to be angry, good for her, she lives with the cause of the problem, and one presumes she's an adult (although tearing away from your house may indicate a maturity issue), so she can certainly figure out how to resolve the issue.
Bottom line, if she doesn't attack the root cause of the problem, it's going to be happening again and again, any time her son wants to get someone else to let him do something that his mom won't let him do. I would not apologize.
I would be grateful that the kid and parent showed you clearly what kind of people they are. No way would I let my kid hang out with a kid who has to lie about what he does. That's just trouble waiting to happen as he turns into a teenager.
If the boy was not allowed to go to the park without adult supervision, it was up to him to be honest with you and tell you that. If he broke the rules - that was his fault and he is the one that should face the consequences. If the mother never made the rules clear to her son, that is her fault.
In the future, it might be best to have the child call and ask their parent for permission just to be on the safe side.
I have an 11 year old son who had a friend spend the night. He has spent the night lots of times before. The boys begged me to let them go to the highschool football game and I of course said no. But we have a park a few blocks away that they all go and play at. We live in a quiet small town, very safe. I asked the child if he goes to the park without his mom and he of course said yes. I took them and picked them up when it got dark as planned, about an hour and a half. Well he called his mom and she lost her mind and said her 11 year old had never been by himself anywhere. I apologized and told her I had them at home and she insisted on coming to get him and hung up on me. I waited at home like a nervous kid waiting in the principal's office only to have her send her daughter to knock on the door then scream at the son to get in the car and peeled off.
Hindsight I should of asked permission or maybe made them stay home but honestly there were a huge group of parents and kids there still playing when I picked them up. It was not a dangeros situation whatsoever. I feel horrible and I'm hoping she'll calm down and let me at least apologize properly.
Anyone else been in a situation like this? I feel bad enough as it is so please be kind.
I can understand that you feel horrible. I'm not 100% versed on the age most people go to the playground themselves. I know that kids can't actually cross the street by-themselves until around 10 (brain development - horrible depth perception/when a car is coming)
So 11 seems cutting it close
Yet the parents should be mad at the kid, not you. If their kid lied, it should be explained to the parent. I can't see being too worried. My wife would f'n freak out forever.
You didn't do anything wrong - this entire things was blown up all out of proportion. The parent's response was extreme and she overreacted. I am wondering what about that was not obvious.
I agree the other parent overreacted, but she was wrong for not checking with the other parent first. What would of happened if the child would have gotten hurt or worse?
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