I feel horrible, I have a parent furious at me (teenagers, teaching)
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The mom was upset, (understandably or not), IMO she acted a bit juvenile. Because of that, I would let it go. If she's not "at a place" where once she calms down and realizes that she could have responded differently and is open to discussion, I'd keep it moving..........
I don't know that many of us can remember experiences from "toddlerhood" 2-3 yrs old. But I remember one, it was at 2 years old when I decided to walk to the park by myself having asked cousins and uncles to please take me and they did not. I grew up in a large city. The park was about a mile or so and consisted of two major streets to cross. I had the wherewithal to tell the cops my exact address. (It's been one of the most entertaining stories in my family). I only remembered the incident because of the profound arse whippin I got! Growing up I had much independence (I rode public transportation in the big city with no problem before 6th grade) but I didn't come from a "typical" family structure.
I laugh at the "coddler" statements. I will not let my 11 year old go to a public restroom if I am not near(and if he takes too long I'm either going in or calling out). If he is being stripped of esteem, independence, or what ever as a result of my caution, he will ever so happily get over it! he'll (hopefully) have many, many, many years to make independent decisions. I will parent as I see fit!
That's fine. But don't send him over to my house and then beotch because I do things differently than you.
Also before "coddlers" are condemned, some people have reasons to be more frightened by situations other are not.
I know a family where the 14 year old daughter got on a bike just to ride around the block and never came home. Three days of searching and the police finally found her severely mutilated body -- that can leave deep lasting scars. Others have experiences not as horrible but they had them, they might not want to be overprotective but they just worry a lot that something really bad could happen -- and of course something bad can happen.
There are also those parents that will pretty much dump their kid off with someone on a Friday night and hopefully will show back up late Sunday night to pick the kid up and leave no number where they can be reached. Whatever you do will be stricter than what the parents do.
Also before "coddlers" are condemned, some people have reasons to be more frightened by situations other are not.
I know a family where the 14 year old daughter got on a bike just to ride around the block and never came home. Three days of searching and the police finally found her severely mutilated body -- that can leave deep lasting scars. Others have experiences not as horrible but they had them, they might not want to be overprotective but they just worry a lot that something really bad could happen -- and of course something bad can happen.
There are also those parents that will pretty much dump their kid off with someone on a Friday night and hopefully will show back up late Sunday night to pick the kid up and leave no number where they can be reached. Whatever you do will be stricter than what the parents do.
Sadly, that incident could happen to any of us, in the wrong circumstance. Some parents are more lax then others but I wouldn't even allow a child at my own home if the parents have such an attitude.
I saw a gambit of dysfunction growing up in my own house and with my own family, the he!! I'm gonna entrust my childen into the home of someone if there isn't agreement in practice of what will and will not be allowed? If I don't watch certain movies as an adult, I'm not allowing my child in your house if they can feely watch whatever they want
(I'm probably messed up today cause an uncle took me to see the original Friday the 13th when it came out in theaters(I did want to see it though) had to be 7 or 8 years old)
Last edited by Tell-the-Truth; 09-22-2012 at 09:37 AM..
Sadly, that incident could happen to any of us, in the wrong circumstance. Some parents are more lax then others but I wouldn't even allow a child at my own home if the parents have such an attitude.
I saw a gambit of dysfunction growing up in my own house and with my own family, the he!! I'm gonna entrust my childen into the home of someone if there isn't agreement in practice of what will and will not be allowed? If I don't watch certain movies as an adult, I'm not allowing my child in your house if they can feely watch whatever they want
(I'm probably messed up today cause an uncle took me to see the original Friday the 13th when it came out in theaters(I did want to see it though) had to be 7 or 8 years old)
Yes. As a parent it's difficult -- where to draw the line, but you do have to start letting the kids out into the world at some point no matter what your thoughts and fears on that world might be.
Neither parent is really right or wrong in this case. Just different attitudes and they forget to establish the ground rules --- both sides forgot to do that. They both care about their kids, that's not the issue, they just have different opinions on where to draw the lines. And you cannot really trust what the kids say.
One time the school had a field trip to an amusement park. I'm actually a protective parent so I took the other kids to the park also -- kind of to keep an eye on the one that was with the school because I didn't trust the school. My son wanted to ride home with us and we told the bus driver he wouldn't be going back on the bus -- but he wanted to hang with his friends which was fine with me also.
To make a long story short, he ended up hanging out with a kid who thought the idea of going home with us and staying until closing sounded better than going back on the bus. On their own they went back to the buses and told the drivers that he would come home with us. The buses left before the park closed, I stayed until the park closed. Finally when it was time to leave, we all met up and the two boys said the friend was getting a ride with us, the buses already left a couple hours before. Well -- what happened was the mom didn't know, she went to the school to pick up her kid and he wasn't on the bus. He was still at the park with us but the school assumed he had gotten on one of the buses and maybe went home with some other kid from there and the mother was calling other friends. Later we came home and it was as though we had kidnapped this child. All this was the doing of that child because he wanted to stay longer at the park.
Tell the Mom to get the stick out of her a$$ and put the blame where it belongs, on HERSELF and her kid, mostly HER for not "leaving instructions" on where her 11yo (whom she obviously treats like a 7yo) can and cant go and when. I'd write her off, she is going to be a pain in your butt forever if you take her kid again, let someone else deal with her and her bs, the only problem I see is that the poor kid is going to be lonely because no one wants to deal with a biotch.
When I wrote this last night I braced myself for the lectures I knew I was going to get. I am so appreciative of all the support and if I saved just one of you from going through this, it was all worth it! Thanks again for everyone's comments, I read and appreciated every word.
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