Child Support Question -- Please help! (custody, legally, teenager, allowance)
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This situation is a little usual. My husband has been a godfather to a child Mei Ling who was adopted from China by a single professional woman when she was a baby. Mei Ling is now 16 years old, and her mother has asked my husband and me to let Mei Ling live with us. Mei Ling came to live with us because her mother has some health problems and felt too stressed out to deal with a teenager. I agreed to this, because I have always had a good relationship with Mei Ling, and I felt that living with us in a rural environment might better for Mei than living in a big city. Also, her mother threatened to send Mei Ling to a boarding school and I felt living in a family situation was preferable to being in a boarding school in another state.
The woman who adopted Mei is not my husband's ex-wife or relative. I also am not related to this woman. Mei has been living with us since April, and the woman has not offered to provide any child support to my husband and me. I am frankly appalled by the situation and feel taken advantage of, especially because Mei Ling's mother has a good job with a good salary. Recently, she agreed to pay us $100 a month which doesn't begin to cover our expenses. My husband is afraid of making waves and asking for more money. But this is the thing. My husband has some savings, but he has been unemployed for three years now, and has no income. I work full-time as a school teacher. Mei Ling's mother does pay for some of Mei Ling's expenses such as the cell phone, health insurance and clothing, but that's about it.
I would like to know if my husband and I are entitled to child support. What steps do I need to take? Thank you all in advance for your help.
This situation is a little usual. My husband has been a godfather to a child Mei Ling who was adopted from China by a single professional woman when she was a baby. Mei Ling is now 16 years old, and her mother has asked my husband and me to let Mei Ling live with us. Mei Ling came to live with us because her mother has some health problems and felt too stressed out to deal with a teenager. I agreed to this, because I have always had a good relationship with Mei Ling, and I felt that living with us in a rural environment might better for Mei than living in a big city. Also, her mother threatened to send Mei Ling to a boarding school and I felt living in a family situation was preferable to being in a boarding school in another state.
The woman who adopted Mei is not my husband's ex-wife or relative. I also am not related to this woman. Mei has been living with us since April, and the woman has not offered to provide any child support to my husband and me. I am frankly appalled by the situation and feel taken advantage of, especially because Mei Ling's mother has a good job with a good salary. Recently, she agreed to pay us $100 a month which doesn't begin to cover our expenses. My husband is afraid of making waves and asking for more money. But this is the thing. My husband has some savings, but he has been unemployed for three years now, and has no income. I work full-time as a school teacher. Mei Ling's mother does pay for some of Mei Ling's expenses such as the cell phone, health insurance and clothing, but that's about it.
I would like to know if my husband and I are entitled to child support. What steps do I need to take? Thank you all in advance for your help.
You are absolutely entitled to child support. After all, the child needs support, right? Her parents are supposed to provide it. Either you can tell the mother how much you need and come to an agreement with her directly, or you could file for temporary guardianship of Mei Ling and have the child support court ordered. I think the best approach might be to talk to the mother and explain to her all the expenses that come with raising a child, as well as your financial situation. If she's even a little bit reasonable, she'll agree to it. If not, it's probably not a situation you want to be in anyway.
This situation is a little usual. My husband has been a godfather to a child Mei Ling who was adopted from China by a single professional woman when she was a baby. Mei Ling is now 16 years old, and her mother has asked my husband and me to let Mei Ling live with us. Mei Ling came to live with us because her mother has some health problems and felt too stressed out to deal with a teenager. I agreed to this, because I have always had a good relationship with Mei Ling, and I felt that living with us in a rural environment might better for Mei than living in a big city. Also, her mother threatened to send Mei Ling to a boarding school and I felt living in a family situation was preferable to being in a boarding school in another state.
The woman who adopted Mei is not my husband's ex-wife or relative. I also am not related to this woman. Mei has been living with us since April, and the woman has not offered to provide any child support to my husband and me. I am frankly appalled by the situation and feel taken advantage of, especially because Mei Ling's mother has a good job with a good salary. Recently, she agreed to pay us $100 a month which doesn't begin to cover our expenses. My husband is afraid of making waves and asking for more money. But this is the thing. My husband has some savings, but he has been unemployed for three years now, and has no income. I work full-time as a school teacher. Mei Ling's mother does pay for some of Mei Ling's expenses such as the cell phone, health insurance and clothing, but that's about it.
I would like to know if my husband and I are entitled to child support. What steps do I need to take? Thank you all in advance for your help.
You could take it to court but you'd be in for a fight since legally you have no rights. And in general if her mother just decides to terminate the agreement she will go ahead with the plan you don't want. Basically put i think 'mom' just wants to dump the raising and cost of raising of her onto you.
This situation is a little usual. My husband has been a godfather to a child Mei Ling who was adopted from China by a single professional woman when she was a baby. Mei Ling is now 16 years old, and her mother has asked my husband and me to let Mei Ling live with us. Mei Ling came to live with us because her mother has some health problems and felt too stressed out to deal with a teenager. I agreed to this, because I have always had a good relationship with Mei Ling, and I felt that living with us in a rural environment might better for Mei than living in a big city. Also, her mother threatened to send Mei Ling to a boarding school and I felt living in a family situation was preferable to being in a boarding school in another state.
The woman who adopted Mei is not my husband's ex-wife or relative. I also am not related to this woman. Mei has been living with us since April, and the woman has not offered to provide any child support to my husband and me. I am frankly appalled by the situation and feel taken advantage of, especially because Mei Ling's mother has a good job with a good salary. Recently, she agreed to pay us $100 a month which doesn't begin to cover our expenses. My husband is afraid of making waves and asking for more money. But this is the thing. My husband has some savings, but he has been unemployed for three years now, and has no income. I work full-time as a school teacher. Mei Ling's mother does pay for some of Mei Ling's expenses such as the cell phone, health insurance and clothing, but that's about it.
I would like to know if my husband and I are entitled to child support. What steps do I need to take? Thank you all in advance for your help.
If you take it to court in all likelihood, the mother will just be given back the daughter and you will no longer have to pay for her.
The odds of you keeping her, AND getting a child support judgement are SLIM TO NONE.
I know this first hand as I went through it when my sister after living with me for 14 years, and telling the judge she would rather live with me, was given back to her mother.
Way I figure it is you could have said no!!......Are you not doing this for Mei Ling?...sure, the mom SHOULD pay you some support,... though personally I think paying for her cell phone and clothes, and health insurance is pretty good,...maybe Mei Ling could get a part time job and contribute to her keep if that is what you want....otherwise I'd just let it go....why didn't you settle this immediately?....are you now having regrets at taking her in?....you don't HAVE to you know
How about creating a mini spread sheet showing all of Mei Ling's expenses. This way mom can see how much you are contributing to her expenses and how much she is. Do not add in things like 1/3rd of the power bill, house payment etc. You would be paying those things anyway. Just put in things that are strickly for Mei Ling such as school supplies, clothes, shoes, allowance, extracurricular activities, etc. Approach Mom in a non judgemental, this is what is going on, type of way. Ask nicely that she provide at least half of all of Mei Ling's expenses. You will have almost no legal standing so I wouldn't even bother going that route. A judge will probably just give her back to mom and it sounds like that is not the best thing for her. You might be eligable to claim her on your taxes though. Not sure about that one but worth looking into. I know money is probably quite tight with you being a teacher and your husband not working but as a teacher, you know more than anyone else how much a child needs to be in a stable home. I think you are providing that for her.
Unless you have custodial placement of the child you're not legally entitled to child support. As I understand it, in most locations you would not be entitled to child support from the mother even if you did establish legal placement, as you are neither her legal nor biological parents nor do you have a long-term parental analog relationship with her like that of a stepparent. I had full-time legal custody of my sister's children for quite some time and the idea of court-ordered child support was never on the table.
You will need to work things out with the mother privately.
I think that - morally- yes, the mother should be giving you support but legally, I couldn't say having no idea what the law is...
I do sense that others are sorrct - if you attempt to collect anything, she will take her daughter back. Maybe just long enough to find someone else to take her in or send her to boarding school.
I'm really saddened by this whole situation It sounds like it's tough for bot you and MeiLing.
This situation is a little usual. My husband has been a godfather to a child Mei Ling who was adopted from China by a single professional woman when she was a baby. Mei Ling is now 16 years old, and her mother has asked my husband and me to let Mei Ling live with us. Mei Ling came to live with us because her mother has some health problems and felt too stressed out to deal with a teenager. I agreed to this, because I have always had a good relationship with Mei Ling, and I felt that living with us in a rural environment might better for Mei than living in a big city. Also, her mother threatened to send Mei Ling to a boarding school and I felt living in a family situation was preferable to being in a boarding school in another state.
The woman who adopted Mei is not my husband's ex-wife or relative. I also am not related to this woman. Mei has been living with us since April, and the woman has not offered to provide any child support to my husband and me. I am frankly appalled by the situation and feel taken advantage of, especially because Mei Ling's mother has a good job with a good salary. Recently, she agreed to pay us $100 a month which doesn't begin to cover our expenses. My husband is afraid of making waves and asking for more money. But this is the thing. My husband has some savings, but he has been unemployed for three years now, and has no income. I work full-time as a school teacher. Mei Ling's mother does pay for some of Mei Ling's expenses such as the cell phone, health insurance and clothing, but that's about it.
I would like to know if my husband and I are entitled to child support. What steps do I need to take? Thank you all in advance for your help.
I would guess you have no rights here at all. You are not her guardians. Her mother is. Her mother can decide where she goes and how much she's willing to pay. You can ask, but if she says no you either accept it or send the girl back. While it would be, morally, right to pay you child support (at least enough to cover her living expenses) I don't think you have a legal leg to stand on to demand it. If you want to go this route, I would suggest you get yourselves named as the girl's legal guardians first but I would expect her mother to react badly to you doing that.
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It sounds like it's tough for bot you and MeiLing.
