Older Boy Asked My 8-Year Old Daughter to "Go out with him" (girl, activity)
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My worry about this situation wouldn't really be about full on sex.
It would be about what he would "teach" her or expose her to (porn) when he had her alone...
Sure he is allowed a crush, but it needs to stay at that.. most 10 year olds I know wouldn't even consider asking another 10 year old out, let alone a 3rd grader...that's just too against the grain to think this is normal puppy love.
I wish the mods would shut down this thread. This is ridiculous. Two little kids, and one has a crush on the other.
How do some of you jump to the "sex fiend" conclusion from that? (Wait! Don't answer that!) For Pete's sake, these kids are still debating Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!
Sad, but true. We don't know this family, or this child. Wary is better than not. Who knows...has he been abused? Has he been exposed to more adult things than peers his age? I don't want to be an alarmist, but, I think that if the Mom is already concerned, it is nothing to just brush off...Anyone can google the internet about 10 year olds, being charged with rape now...happens more often then we want to acknowledge.
Thanks again to everybody... Lots of good banter and mixed opinions.. Just picked one post to respond to that highlighted why I'm concerned.
For starters, I am the father, not the mother... So let's get that tidbit cleared up..
Anyway, this post kind of highlights a bit of my concern. The mother divorced an alchoholic husband/father that still lives nearby I guess and has contact with the boy. She is re-married and while I like the step father on an adult/adult level, he seems like more of the "Horsing around" type of parent than strict disciplinarian... The kid also has an older brother who seems to be/have been a pretty "bad seed". He was dealing drugs out of the damn house for a time but the neighborhood caught it early, let the mother know what was going on and she kicked him out of the house (though I think he still visits)...
My impressions on the boy himself swing drastically from day to day. With adults he is polite and respectful and generally a good kid. But from what my daughter tells me he is a braggart (nothing strange for a 10 year old boy, I know), lies and exaggerates to scare the younger kids or act cool (again, nothing too odd about that), but also has been knowng to say some pretty nasty/mean things to some of the other kids and has told my daughter on occasion that she's "hot" and has said the same about one of my daughter's friends as well....
Due to circumstances my daughter does NOT actually go to the same school right now, so maybe there's a little "disconnect" with this boy understanding exactly how old and what grade my daughter is in, but I remember vividly being in 5th grade and don't recall knowing, associating with or caring about what any 3rd grader was doing and CERTAINLY wasn't interested in any 3rd grader in "that way"....
I guess I'll keep a close eye on the situation and play it by ear.
I def would not let them play together, calling her hot is a huge sign.... a 3rd grader isn't "HOT" - maybe if he told she was pretty that'd be ok...... but HOT is a totally different thing.
.
People need to wake up and realize that little boys and girls today
are believe that doing the oral thing on each other is not having sex.
Which really got off with a bang when President Bill Clinton said
he did not have sex with that woman on TV world wide ,
and hundreds of thousands of kids saw, and heard that, and later on
they found out what really did happen ... the oral thing ! ! !
So now little boys are having young girls do that on them,
and many little girls are ok with it, and are saying I'm still a virgin.
That is one way they are holding on to there boyfriends.
.
President Clinton's scandal happened in 1997. Today's 10 year olds weren't even born yet. Try again.
There are not hordes of 10 year old sex fiends roaming the streets of the US.
Thanks again to everybody... Lots of good banter and mixed opinions.. Just picked one post to respond to that highlighted why I'm concerned.
For starters, I am the father, not the mother... So let's get that tidbit cleared up..
Anyway, this post kind of highlights a bit of my concern. The mother divorced an alchoholic husband/father that still lives nearby I guess and has contact with the boy. She is re-married and while I like the step father on an adult/adult level, he seems like more of the "Horsing around" type of parent than strict disciplinarian... The kid also has an older brother who seems to be/have been a pretty "bad seed". He was dealing drugs out of the damn house for a time but the neighborhood caught it early, let the mother know what was going on and she kicked him out of the house (though I think he still visits)...
My impressions on the boy himself swing drastically from day to day. With adults he is polite and respectful and generally a good kid. But from what my daughter tells me he is a braggart (nothing strange for a 10 year old boy, I know), lies and exaggerates to scare the younger kids or act cool (again, nothing too odd about that), but also has been knowng to say some pretty nasty/mean things to some of the other kids and has told my daughter on occasion that she's "hot" and has said the same about one of my daughter's friends as well....
Due to circumstances my daughter does NOT actually go to the same school right now, so maybe there's a little "disconnect" with this boy understanding exactly how old and what grade my daughter is in, but I remember vividly being in 5th grade and don't recall knowing, associating with or caring about what any 3rd grader was doing and CERTAINLY wasn't interested in any 3rd grader in "that way"....
I guess I'll keep a close eye on the situation and play it by ear.
The boy sounds like he may have some issues. He probably learned the word "hot" from his older brother. My youngest (now 13) learned a lot of words from his older brothers that they did not learn at a young age.
I think you are right to be concerned about this particular boy. It seems that there are bad influences in his life. You may be right that he has no idea how old your daughter is but I would guess that he does realize your daughter is younger than he is. However, if he is lacking in social skills kids his own age (boys and girls) may be unwilling to socialize with him. I would try to observe their friendship from afar and see if you think there is anything untoward going on. I would teach your daughter to avoid being alone with him.
However, I would caution you about thinking that there are just hordes of 10 year old sex fiends out there waiting to ravage your daughter. As the parent of 3 boys I can tell you that my experience is that early in middle school the girls are much more interested in pursuing the boys than the other way around. Most boys get their courage in high school. Of course, some start earlier than others. One troubled boy does not translate to hordes of 10 year old sex fiends.
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