Parents who insist they know best/want to control their adult children's lives (learn, high school)
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Ah, I can relate to the OP very well. Unfortunately, due to the high cost of rent in my town, I have to live at home so I'm forced to be around my mother everyday. Just like Trimac's mother, my mother also experiences depression and anxiety, she's also a dower and anti social.
My mother tries to dictate almost everything I do from what I wear, what I eat, when and where I can do things, when I do my laundry, etc. She's over-bearing, neurotic, domineering, over-protective and over-controlling. When she "tells me" things, she usually just screams and yells about it. She also has a tendency to over-react to things and turn little things into major things as well as take everything personally. On top of that, she never seems happy about anything, something always seems to wrong then she complains to me about it (which is even more yelling).
She's always been like to this to a degree but she's gotten worse within the past 5 years or so. She also used to be physically abusive to me, but is mostly verbally abusive towards me now. My mother has a lot of frustration in her and she just takes it out on me, apparently since she doesn't have any friends she "hangs out with". All I know is, I'm sick of her behavior and it does nothing make me feel irritated with her. It's extremely stressful and frustrating to deal with, especially on a daily basis. Due to this, we don't get along very well.
However, I do get along with my father better and would live with him, but he has a drinking problem. He also does drugs and I don't want to be around that not to mention, he has an extremely violent temper when he's "under the influence". But I have noticed that can become a bit controlling like my mother after I'm with him for so long. He's certainly like that with his wife.
I'm starting not to care about what my mother thinks anymore. I've realized she's probably never going to be happy with anything and she is the way she is, just have to accept it. My father doesn't care what I do though. But my mother is the perfect image of the so-called "momism" term.
Ah, I can relate to the OP very well. Unfortunately, due to the high cost of rent in my town, I have to live at home so I'm forced to be around my mother everyday. Just like Trimac's mother, my mother also experiences depression and anxiety, she's also a dower and anti social.
My mother tries to dictate almost everything I do from what I wear, what I eat, when and where I can do things, when I do my laundry, etc. She's over-bearing, neurotic, domineering, over-protective and over-controlling. When she "tells me" things, she usually just screams and yells about it.
How many hours a week does she work? How much stress is she under to keep a roof over YOUR head as well as her's? How much are you helping her out financially? How much time do you spend hanging out on her couch when she just wants to come home, soak her feet and watch what she wants? Do you cook your own food? Who buys your food, you or her? Who pays the insurance on the house? Electric bill? Water bill? Soap? Toothpaste? How secure is her retirement? Is her car reliable? How's her health? Who bought the washer and dryer? Who pays the property taxes? How high is her rent? How secure is her job? Does she have any investments that took a dive since the crash? What time does she leave the house to go to work in the morning? What time does she get home? Does she fight traffic? Stand up on the subway? Walk?
Poor you.
Congratulations. You are the third 20-something with a neurotic, domineering, over-bearing mother who should be spreading sunshine and rainbows because it makes YOUR life so difficult to contend with Mom the Nutcase.
How many hours a week does she work? How much stress is she under to keep a roof over YOUR head as well as her's? How much are you helping her out financially? How much time do you spend hanging out on her couch when she just wants to come home, soak her feet and watch what she wants? Do you cook your own food? Who buys your food, you or her? Who pays the insurance on the house? Electric bill? Water bill? Soap? Toothpaste? How secure is her retirement? Is her car reliable? How's her health? Who bought the washer and dryer? Who pays the property taxes? How high is her rent? How secure is her job? Does she have any investments that took a dive since the crash? What time does she leave the house to go to work in the morning? What time does she get home? Does she fight traffic? Stand up on the subway? Walk?
Poor you.
That brings us up to three 20-somethings with a neurotic, domineering, over-bearing mother who should be spreading sunshine and rainbows because it makes YOUR life so difficult to contend with Mom the Nutcase.
*sigh*
She's an elementary school teacher and is off for the summer.
I pay for all of my groceries, but she doesn't eat much, and has told me she only pays $20 at the most every six weeks or so for her groceries (how, I don't know). I also do the cooking every night and sometimes cook for her too if she wants to eat something and pay for when we order out or something. I pay for half the bills every month (water, electric,etc.) I pay for 3/4 of the cable and internet. I pay for my own insurance and her car's all paid off for. The house mortgage is also all paid off for (we live in my grandparents former house). I also pay for my own phone and she pays for her own too. Her brother (who owns half the house) pays for the property taxes. I also give her $400 a month for rent. She doesn't have any problems with traffic though as we live in a small town and her work's 5 miles from our house. Her health is also good.
But we don't really spend anytime together, we just mostly stay to ourselves. So we don't watch TV together, go anywhere or do anything else. It's like I said, she's always in a bad mood and not very pleasant to be around.
I live at home and am over 17 so I should be contributing financially.
I live with my mother, know what it's like and it's not always very pleasant so take your judgements elsewhere.
It's not like I'm sitting at home all day, smoking weed or playing video games and not contributing to anything all the while expecting my parents to pay for everything. Sadly there are many "grown" adults who are like this.
She's an elementary school teacher and is off for the summer.
I pay for all of my groceries, but she doesn't eat much, and has told me she only pays $20 at the most every six weeks or so for her groceries (how, I don't know). I also do the cooking every night and sometimes cook for her too if she wants to eat something and pay for when we order out or something. I pay for half the bills every month (water, electric,etc.) I pay for 3/4 of the cable and internet. I pay for my own insurance and her car's all paid off for. The house mortgage is also all paid off for (we live in my grandparents former house). I also pay for my own phone and she pays for her own too. Her brother (who owns half the house) pays for the property taxes. I also give her $400 a month for rent. She doesn't have any problems with traffic though as we live in a small town and her work's 5 miles from our house. Her health is also good.
But we don't really spend anytime together, we just mostly stay to ourselves. So we don't watch TV together, go anywhere or do anything else. It's like I said, she's always in a bad mood and not very pleasant to be around.
I live at home and am over 17 so I should be contributing financially.
I live with my mother, know what it's like and it's not always very pleasant so take your judgements elsewhere.
It's not like I'm sitting at home all day, smoking weed or playing video games and not contributing to anything all the while expecting my parents to pay for everything. Sadly there are many "grown" adults who are like this.
Does that satisfy you enough snarky one?
Well by gosh, I'd just show her...I'd figure out a way to get a second job and get my own place. Crazy old mom anyway! Then she'd have the place to herself!
One thing I can't stand...my parents aren't TOO bad, but I'm very independent and I resent them trying to impose their values on me. I do understand they mean well, and I definitely can learn from them, but there's a line you cross when you think that your experience applies 100% to your child's. You think just because you made a mistake, your child will make the same, or that if something applies to you, it will apply to your child. Some parents like to think their children are carbon copies of them but some don't realize they are separate people, with different personalities, goals, values.etc. If I have children I'll try to support them, give advice, without being so judgemental, trying to tell them what to do, and then childishly telling them 'I told you so' when things go wrong. I just resent people trying to control other people's lives or being such know-it-alls.
Trimac, I like you, but this kind of rant does not sound very 'adult.'
Ah, I can relate to the OP very well. Unfortunately, due to the high cost of rent in my town, I have to live at home so I'm forced to be around my mother everyday. Just like Trimac's mother, my mother also experiences depression and anxiety, she's also a dower and anti social.
High cost of rent schemnt. Get a room mate. Have to/force my eye. Whining, driveling entitled complaining is what it is.
High cost of rent schemnt. Get a room mate. Have to/force my eye. Whining, driveling entitled complaining is what it is.
Why do people ALWAYS have something snarky to say on here? Where do I come off as having a whining and entitled attitude? Rent in my town IS very expensive, even with roommates.
Haven't you read the news? A lot of (and a growing number of) young people are living at home, but at least I'm helping out financially, something a lot of them aren't doing.
The majority or my graduating class work and live at home too and a lot of them have said its because they can't afford rent here where we live.
Where do I come off as having a whining and entitled attitude?
The five paragraph complaint about your mother was a start.
It's nice to know you have a job and are contributing to the household expenses, BTW. But if Mom is so horrible she makes your life miserable you really should be looking into a second job and a different roommate.
The five paragraph complaint about your mother was a start.
It's nice to know you have a job and are contributing to the household expenses, BTW. But if Mom is so horrible she makes your life miserable you really should be looking into a second job and a different roommate.
Well that's why we stay to ourselves, it was the same thing with her and my grandparents when she was my age. But I am moving away after I finish up community college next year. My cousin and I may share an apartment together since he lives where I'm moving to.
The five paragraph complaint about your mother was a start.
It's nice to know you have a job and are contributing to the household expenses, BTW. But if Mom is so horrible she makes your life miserable you really should be looking into a second job and a different roommate.
LOL! To be fair, it was likely the Mom who raised him to be entitled.
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