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I think she is right to be cautious with which information she chooses to present, even if it means less for posters to work with. The therapists here actually can't say anything much that is useful because (in no particular order): a) we don't have a thorough assessment, b) we don't have a professional relationship with the family and c) it is unethical to practice on an online message board.
I do agree that if one is not seeing demonstrable results/progress on goals with a therapist that considering a second opinion and/or just a new brain on the case is prudent. There are very few diagnoses where one would expect to see negligible improvement over the course of treatment.
You can however tell if this therapists belief in the developmental milestone is real or her personal belief :-P. And could possibly judge if it is best they try another course of action. And while i understand being cautious, at some point after post and post of getting no help it's obvious you need to put the info out there if you want real help here.
Did she tell us she hasn't told her daughter that she has positive attributes? Or that her daughter isn't valuable to her? That she hasn't ever praised her daughter?
I missed that post if she told us that. I apologize.
She thinks praising her daughter is blowing sunshine up her butt and won't work. Do you take that to mean she offers a lot of praise?
That she doesn't even want to be in counseling is even more discouraging.
It's not shocking, though. I haven't met a teen yet who wanted to be in therapy when they first came in for treatment. Just as long as she is there and working in and out of session, progress can be made.
People can smell being disingenuous from a mile away.
Everyone does something good in their life as kids. I can't believe her daughter does nothing worthy of giving her praise about. I mean even txtqueen gets pats on the back from you guys ~sorry txt~ .
It's not shocking, though. I haven't met a teen yet who wanted to be in therapy when they first came in for treatment. Just as long as she is there and working in and out of session, progress can be made.
I have no real decent foundation for this, but I am suspicious that this is the therapist that will help. It seems like it has been a while with no noticeable progress. But that is speculating wildly and should be treated as such, without much merit.
Everyone does something good in their life as kids. I can't believe her daughter does nothing worthy of giving her praise about. I mean even txtqueen gets pats on the back from you guys ~sorry txt~ .
Of course. I believe that somebodynew and the others are correct in saying that genuinely acknowledging positive behaviors that occur is useful. Even in the most severely behavior disordered children and teens, there is always some behavior that can be reinforced because you genuinely want to see that behavior again. I am uncertain why some posters are construing that as hollow praise. It is puzzling to me.
It isn't blowing sunshine unless it is made up, not true. Simply praising her for something she did well is being honest and supportive. If you can't find one single thing to praise her for, that is a major problem.
I don't subscribe to the raise kids on praise movement. I've stated that already. I don't praise dd#2 either (a fact dd#1 ignores). Dd#2 has more expected of her because she can deliver more. IMO, praise builds the kind of fragile self esteem I see in my students every day and I don't want that for my kids.
Blowing sunshine up their butts does not work. I thought we'd established that already.
Please go back and read my posts about her and the band teacher. You are not getting this. You're stuck on PRAISE WILL WORK. Praise doesn't work. At best, it creates a praise junkie who can't self assess because they NEED the approval of others. At worst, it backfires, which is what it does with dd#1. If I tell her she played well at the concert, she tells me "Not as well as DD#2"....Her band teacher delivered a compliment when he asked her to try out for wind ensamble, her response was to refuse to learn the piece. Sersiously, some here need to start actually reading my posts.
Last edited by Ivorytickler; 06-09-2012 at 03:56 PM..
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