Are My Expectations of Boy Scouts Too High? (babysitting, toddlers, games)
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As a former Boy Scout that was in multiple troops, (Navy brat, so I moved alot) I can say that each troop is run differently. Some were really good, some were really bad, some were so-so. All I can suggest is search around for a different troop if the one your son is in seems bad.
I will also say this, as long as he is enjoying it, and you can afford the dues and outfits, try to keep him in. I was highly depressed when I moved to PA and because of my parents' divorce, my mother couldn't afford new outfits when I needed them, and I had to leave the BSA out. Those were some of the best times of my childhood.
Actually I've just turned in my adult application to take on a position to help out scouts. And frankly, our family is one of the few that stay there and stay close and supervise our child. I've asked the den leader repeatedly if I can help, given my email/phone number, etc. and no response. I will not be any sort of leader because I can't buy in to all the BSA beliefs.
I find that a really interesting statement. It is okay for your kid to be in scouts, even though you don't have complete buy in of the BSA beliefs, but you don't wish to be a leader?
Where I live I know a lot of people that don't have complete buy in of the BSA beliefs, but are still leaders. I don't know about the upper levels of scouting, but people managed to make it work at the younger levels.
If you have really specific beliefs as to how you'd like things to be, the best way to accomplish this would be as a leader.
We quite the boyscouts for the same reason. Troop was very disorganized, and it was led by a mom, which I wasn't crazy about..... sorry, for boys scouts, I would have preffered a male role model. We had a parent stay at every meeting, which I think led to the disruption, because you get into a situation where you don't know whether the leader is disciplining or the parent, and very rarely will all the parents have the same expectations of their children. In girl scouts, it is a drop off situation. The girls know the troop's expectations when they are there. In open meetings where there are parents there, that is where I see the most issues with behavior. go figure.
Our troop was very disorganized and some of the boys were not the best behaved - but everyone liked our leader, disorganization and all. He had 2 boys of his own and a full-time job; he did the best he could. I usually stayed at the meetings when my son was young; as did several other parents. The help was usually needed when it came time to doing crafts, etc.
I remember my son's scouting days fondly and the parents' as well.
However, as soon as he hit 7th grade - he was done with scouts. It's not for everyone and you have to find a really good troop. My son hated doing all the crafts (and there were LOTS); was not crazy about camping, and it was good we left when we did.
One other reason we have discipline/disorganization issues in our pack is that some parents allow their Cub Scout's toddler sibling to "sit in" on the meetings and activities, since it is fun and interesting to the kids. Do any of you notice this happening in your groups? The activities are supposed to be limited to a particular age and grade for a reason.
The den and pack leaders never say anything, so the moms just sit in the back of the room and talk since they're basically getting free child care.
I really think the older boys would get much more out of the meetings and feel like it is a more special event if their baby brothers and sisters were not included. The toddlers are VERY distracting, as you can imagine.
I also didn't know Scouts had FAMILY campouts. Whenever there is a pack campout, it's not just father/son, or even parent/son. The WHOLE FAM DAMILY comes, and of course, it's up to one or two parents to keep all the toddlers and kindergartners from falling into the lake or campfire while their actual parents roam around clueless.
One other reason we have discipline/disorganization issues in our pack is that some parents allow their Cub Scout's toddler sibling to "sit in" on the meetings and activities, since it is fun and interesting to the kids. Do any of you notice this happening in your groups? The activities are supposed to be limited to a particular age and grade for a reason.
The den and pack leaders never say anything, so the moms just sit in the back of the room and talk since they're basically getting free child care.
I really think the older boys would get much more out of the meetings and feel like it is a more special event if their baby brothers and sisters were not included. The toddlers are VERY distracting, as you can imagine.
I also didn't know Scouts had FAMILY campouts. Whenever there is a pack campout, it's not just father/son, or even parent/son. The WHOLE FAM DAMILY comes, and of course, it's up to one or two parents to keep all the toddlers and kindergartners from falling into the lake or campfire while their actual parents roam around clueless.
OK, rant over.
For now!
We don't have a lot of siblings sitting in on den meetings. Usually 1 parent comes and the other stays at home with the other kid. Even if sibs come, they don't participate in the meeting. I have seen them running wild out in the hall, and even once right through the meeting while mom's nose was buried in her phone.
Pack meetings are a little different. Sometimes the whole family comes. They announce at every meeting that certain areas of the school are off limits, yet at every meeting there are kids running wild in those areas. I'm talking the older weblos kids in many cases, not the preschool siblings. They are the ones who should be setting an example.
Our campout was a mix of dads and sons, and whole families.
One other reason we have discipline/disorganization issues in our pack is that some parents allow their Cub Scout's toddler sibling to "sit in" on the meetings and activities, since it is fun and interesting to the kids. Do any of you notice this happening in your groups? The activities are supposed to be limited to a particular age and grade for a reason.
The den and pack leaders never say anything, so the moms just sit in the back of the room and talk since they're basically getting free child care.
I really think the older boys would get much more out of the meetings and feel like it is a more special event if their baby brothers and sisters were not included. The toddlers are VERY distracting, as you can imagine.
I also didn't know Scouts had FAMILY campouts. Whenever there is a pack campout, it's not just father/son, or even parent/son. The WHOLE FAM DAMILY comes, and of course, it's up to one or two parents to keep all the toddlers and kindergartners from falling into the lake or campfire while their actual parents roam around clueless.
OK, rant over.
For now!
O-M-G !
I can't believe that a troop would allow that!
I can't imagine anyone would think that was acceptable behavior (except for parents too cheap to hire a babysitter)..
Can it be reported to higher ups at the Boy Scout office? Just for liability reasons alone it would be a problem. What if a toddler actually got burned in the campfire or a younger sibling sliced his finger off doing a project at a scout meeting?
My daughter was in Girl Scouts and I went on several camping trips. Younger siblings were positively, absolutely NOT allowed to attend.
It reminds me of how often teachers have to tell parent chaperones that they can't bring along younger siblings when they want to chaperone school fieldtrips. I once had to tell a mom "No, you can't bring your 1 yearold and your 2 year old AND the 2 year old that you babysit for on your daughter's fieldtrip".
How did the mom possible think that she would be able to give her undivided attention to a group of Four Year old children at a Pumpkin Farm while caring for three toddlers? The mom was pretty angry and said that I was discriminating against her because she needed to work and couldn't afford a babysitter. Luckily, it is school policy that siblings not attend fieldtrips.
In addition, the bus company liability policy is so strict that another time I observed a bus driver just sit in the driver's seat and refuse to start the bus until the parent (carrying a baby) got off. (The parent told the teacher that she was "entitled" to attend all of her DD fieldtrips and refused to get off the bus when the teacher told her that she couldn't chaperone).
The bus driver later told us that she would have been fired if someone other than the school children and chaperones & teachers were on the bus and it was moving (because the insurance would not cover any accidents).
We don't have a lot of siblings sitting in on den meetings. Usually 1 parent comes and the other stays at home with the other kid. Even if sibs come, they don't participate in the meeting. I have seen them running wild out in the hall, and even once right through the meeting while mom's nose was buried in her phone.
Pack meetings are a little different. Sometimes the whole family comes. They announce at every meeting that certain areas of the school are off limits, yet at every meeting there are kids running wild in those areas. I'm talking the older weblos kids in many cases, not the preschool siblings. They are the ones who should be setting an example.
Our campout was a mix of dads and sons, and whole families.
If this was a public school, and it was reported, it is likely that the Pack would be prohibited from holding meetings there. Again due, to safety and liability issues. You just can't have children running into the furnace room, the school kitchen, science lab, art room, etc. Even if most of these areas are locked all it would take would be for an unsupervised child to run and fall with a teachers scissors or trip or fall down a flight of stairs and get seriously hurt.
Regarding the tagalong stuff....this happened some with my daughter's scouting experience...sometimes it was really hard to avoid. For actual council events..they were usually quite specific about no tagalongs.
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