Buying for one child, not the other (non-birthday!!!) (video, kids, siblings)

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by beachmel

Germaine...I still think that's just plain ole mean. Imagine how left out the other child felt...so unloved and unwelcome. That's just sad. I can't understand how people can pretend to be so caring, yet be so cruel to a child.

Yes, Grandma was just plain ole mean.

[eastwesteastagain]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

Well MIL picked it up and was very dramatic about the whole thing. She made a huge fuss with YDS - "Oh, trust me, Grandma is JUST as upset as you are about having to return this. It's not fair, is it?!" @@

ODS said bye to her as she was leaving and she completely ignored him. At that point, DH told his mother, "ODS is my son too. Don't ignore him." She turned and walked out without another word.

Wow, Mags. That is messed up. I can't wrap my head around why someone would be so hurtful to a child. Good for you and for DH for not letting it go.

As for feeling badly about not saying anything the day the gift came, cut yourself a little slack. I imagine you were in a little bit of shock, I know I would have been. She won't take you by surprise again, and now you'll be prepared to defend your kids in the moment if it ever happens again (as sad as that is, to have to defend children from family ). Are you and DH considering limiting contact with MIL? I am so sincerely sorry that your family is going through this.

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by FinsterRufus

Wow Mags, what a spoiled brat.

I think that would be the end of the interaction with Grandma and the kids for me, until they're old enough to have an independent relationship with her at their own discretion.

There's no excuse for treating either you or your oldest that way - your husband too, and for putting youngest in the middle of it all.

That's some kind of pathological behavior, IMO.

Pretty much. Shut her out.

[somebodynew]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

I don't understand it either. DH and I have been together since ODS was a toddler in diapers. She has seen ODS grow up just as she has watched YDS mature.

I don't think MIL will ever change but I have learned my lesson. Never again, will I keep my trap shut when someone is actively hurting my children. I'm still angry with myself for being such a wuss with this situation.

I am sorry to hear. Good luck!

[beachmel]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

I don't understand it either. DH and I have been together since ODS was a toddler in diapers. She has seen ODS grow up just as she has watched YDS mature.

I don't think MIL will ever change but I have learned my lesson. Never again, will I keep my trap shut when someone is actively hurting my children. I'm still angry with myself for being such a wuss with this situation.

She needs to understand that, not only did she hurt your older son, but she creates a potential wall between your two children wtih that behavior. I will never regret laying into my father, when my oldest ones were little, for playing that same stupid game. He was TRYING to get a rise out of my daughter, by giving a large, special thing to my oldest boy, and a small, insignificant thing to my daughter. I could see he was just "teasing" my daughter, trying to "gauge" her reaction, but I still took him outside and lit into him.

In my case, it brought back a life time of memories of him constantly favoring my older brother over me and because of the way he favored that one son, ALL of his siblings, not just me, despised the spoiled little brat. The sad part of it is, even though my daughter was 8 years old when he died, she only has one memory of him...that my dad was mean. You can't change that memory.....and he loved her. He thought she was such a sweet, precious little girl, but because of his little "pokes", she remembers him as being a very mean man, who didn't like her. That's sad.

[CinV]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

Well MIL picked it up and was very dramatic about the whole thing. She made a huge fuss with YDS - "Oh, trust me, Grandma is JUST as upset as you are about having to return this. It's not fair, is it?!" @@

ODS said bye to her as she was leaving and she completely ignored him. At that point, DH told his mother, "ODS is my son too. Don't ignore him." She turned and walked out without another word.

This is totally out of line. I would have gotten really close to her and told her to knock it off in no uncertain terms (definitely not nice ones). If she didn't, she would have been escorted to the door immediately.

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

Well MIL picked it up and was very dramatic about the whole thing. She made a huge fuss with YDS - "Oh, trust me, Grandma is JUST as upset as you are about having to return this. It's not fair, is it?!" @@

ODS said bye to her as she was leaving and she completely ignored him. At that point, DH told his mother, "ODS is my son too. Don't ignore him." She turned and walked out without another word.

There is just no excuse for that. She'd not be welcome at my house anymore.

[~HecateWhisperCat~]

2 words Drama Queen.

[maciesmom]

Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

There is just no excuse for that. She'd not be welcome at my house anymore.

I have to agree.

[Dorthy]

Originally Posted by Magritte25

Well MIL picked it up and was very dramatic about the whole thing. She made a huge fuss with YDS - "Oh, trust me, Grandma is JUST as upset as you are about having to return this. It's not fair, is it?!" @@

ODS said bye to her as she was leaving and she completely ignored him. At that point, DH told his mother, "ODS is my son too. Don't ignore him." She turned and walked out without another word.

Wow! On second thought, maybe you should send that letter! She is so out of line. It's odd that she's mad at your ODS about this. Really telling. Sorry you are dealing with all of this.