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Breastfeeding has absolutely NOTHING to do with getting attention. You are wrong, elmonellie. I have never met anyone who breastfeeds in public to get attention. You breastfeed because your baby is hungry.
Exactly! And I am about as modest and discreet about it as I can be, but my baby's needs come first, period. And that is why I will breastfeed anytime and anywhere I need to, including in a restaurant (um, that's where people of ALL AGES go to eat last time I checked). Am I supposed to usher my other kids out to hide in the car with me if my baby gets hungry in the middle of our meal?
Frankly, someone would have to be pretty obnoxious in staring at me while nursing for me to even notice, because my focus is on the little one eating and keeping baby latched correctly.
Breastfeeding has absolutely NOTHING to do with getting attention. You are wrong, elmonellie. I have never met anyone who breastfeeds in public to get attention. You breastfeed because your baby is hungry.
Well, you can think I'm wrong, but I say I am right.
Just 2 examples from my own experience. A nice French restaurant at lunch. The woman took her entire breast out and the kid was at least 18 months. She was seated next to me on a banquette. I tried to ignore it but she made quite a deal about the situation. And the kid was VERY loud as he sucked. This woman was absolutely looking for attention. I feel sorry for the kid.
The second was just a couple of weeks ago at the Barnes/Noble book store in the magazine section. The production this woman made of breastfeeding in a crowded area shocked me. She could have easliy went into the mall and found a nice, relaxing place to feed her baby. She wanted attention.
Yes I know it is not against the law...but really....do you think I was right or wrong to think that these women were both rude and sure deserved the glare I gave.
I'll just assume that people who glare are bozos. I don't have to get over anything - I'm comfortable with the fact women breastfeed in public, you apparently, are not. I don't know what can be said to put you at ease about this - I just know that most women who breastfeed are so focused on their baby that being discrete is second on their list. It's hard to relax and feed when you're concerned about showing a little skin.
I have gone out of my way to breastfeed in private (for my own comfort) but it's not my right to tell someone else to cover up.
I am not UN-easy about breastfeeding in public, I just would appreciate a little common sense. I do glare if somebody if someone is being gross.
If I owned or managed a store, I would certainly ask a woman who is being indiscreet to take it outside. I'd pay the fine if she whipped out her law card and filed a complaint. Common sense is worth something.
I'll say this again....NOBODY CARES if you breastfeed. Fine, you think it is joyful and want to share the joy....but NOBODY CARES. What gets people riled up is the lack of common sense and modesty.
And, by the way, it is totally my right to tell someone to cover up if they are being offensive.
I believe that the woman in the bookstore DID find a nice, quiet place to nurse. I guess I wouldn't know if she made a production out of it since I was not there. I would think a quiet bookstore, in the corner by the magazines would be a perfect spot!
If you have in fact seen some women be in-discreet about nursing, I'm sure you wouldn't judge all nursing mothers the same way. There are always the few idiots that make an entire group look bad.
And, by the way, it is totally my right to tell someone to cover up if they are being offensive.
Depending on your state, that is not true. In the Applebees case in question, Kentucky has a law which states that you cannot interfere with a woman breastfeeding, and that includes telling her to cover up. And yes, this includes if she is in your business, provided that she and her baby are otherwise authorized to be there (ie not trespassing).
As for the examples you gave, I don't see what the baby's age being over 18 months has to do with anything in the first case. My baby is 15 months, and still nurses quite frequently and has not developed the ability to wait patiently yet. I think most of us would prefer a nursing baby to a crying baby. I don't think that she is going to be appreciably more developed in that respect 3 months from now. Babies are individuals and mature at different rates. As for the book store, I have chosen to go to Barnes & Noble to nurse when I was in the mall more than once. They have comfy chairs and reading materials, and I find it to be a very quiet, comfortable place to nurse. I haven't heard anything in either of those stories that makes me think these moms were attention seeking. I think it's much more likely that they were just thinking of their own comfort and that of their baby and not yours. Immodesty is not the same thing as attention seeking.
Well, you can think I'm wrong, but I say I am right.
Just 2 examples from my own experience. A nice French restaurant at lunch. The woman took her entire breast out and the kid was at least 18 months. She was seated next to me on a banquette. I tried to ignore it but she made quite a deal about the situation. And the kid was VERY loud as he sucked. This woman was absolutely looking for attention. I feel sorry for the kid.
The second was just a couple of weeks ago at the Barnes/Noble book store in the magazine section. The production this woman made of breastfeeding in a crowded area shocked me. She could have easliy went into the mall and found a nice, relaxing place to feed her baby. She wanted attention.
Yes I know it is not against the law...but really....do you think I was right or wrong to think that these women were both rude and sure deserved the glare I gave.
Ok are you kidding me?? (I am ONLY basing this on the info you gave as I was not there to see it but) OMG she nursed at 18 months... PLEASE.... I nursed that long and would have gone longer if I felt it was the right thing to do for us... and THE KID WAS VERY LOUD SUCKING... WHAT so that is the control of the mother... id say its a good sign the little one was hungry and his or her need was met- would you rather have crying little one...
I would say a book store is a much more out of the way place to nurse then right in the mall somewhere with lots of traffic!!!
Not focusing on this post, but a comment in general: Im amazed by people that think nursing moms should hide in the bathroom - would you go eat your lunch in a public bathroom stall???
I don't know a single woman who whips out a boob to get attention while feeding a baby... its about meeting your child's needs... given the option I think most women would perfer to be unnotcied, but running to the bathroom (for example) should not be the answer!
this is just my personal thoughts on the issue.. I know others will disagree so I agree to disagree as the case may be I just saw this as a good time to put in my 2 cents along with the others
Last edited by BusySocialWorker; 09-07-2007 at 12:50 PM..
I am not UN-easy about breastfeeding in public, I just would appreciate a little common sense. I do glare if somebody if someone is being gross.
If I owned or managed a store, I would certainly ask a woman who is being indiscreet to take it outside. I'd pay the fine if she whipped out her law card and filed a complaint. Common sense is worth something.
I'll say this again....NOBODY CARES if you breastfeed. Fine, you think it is joyful and want to share the joy....but NOBODY CARES. What gets people riled up is the lack of common sense and modesty.
And, by the way, it is totally my right to tell someone to cover up if they are being offensive.
Elmonellie. You have given great opinions on other threads but this one is a bit melodramatic. You are making a big deal out of nothing and sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. The breastfeeding process is between the mother and child but you seem to think that your opinion matters enough to tell a grown woman to cover up. You should try to work out your feelings on why you are so offended by a breast and leave women who are trying to feed their baby alone (and that means no glaring... THAT is rude).
Elmonellie. You have given great opinions on other threads but this one is a bit melodramatic. You are making a big deal out of nothing and sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. The breastfeeding process is between the mother and child but you seem to think that your opinion matters enough to tell a grown woman to cover up. You should try to work out your feelings on why you are so offended by a breast and leave women who are trying to feed their baby alone (and that means no glaring... THAT is rude).
So far, smoking in public is on the way to being illegal. Drinking in public, illegal. Swearing, nada. Allowing public display of the strange things many folks now do to their bodies (piercings, etc) is cool. Morality decline? Who knows. Personally I have no problem with mothers feeding their children discreetly, as it should be, but why in holy heaven does their need to be a law passed to provide yet another "protection" to a specific class of people? I'm thinking taxpayers dollars should expect their money spent a little more wisely than passing laws regarding breast feeding, isn't that a choice that can be made personally without government intervention?
Just 2 examples from my own experience. A nice French restaurant at lunch. The woman took her entire breast out and the kid was at least 18 months. She was seated next to me on a banquette. I tried to ignore it but she made quite a deal about the situation. And the kid was VERY loud as he sucked. This woman was absolutely looking for attention. I feel sorry for the kid.
I'm sure most of the women who breastfeed aren't like this, but it's really disgusting that ANYONE would use their "right" to breastfeed, to display their body in an inappropriate way.
I do agree, that most of these type incidents are attention-seeking.
After all, if a woman was nursing in public, AND doing it discreetly, most people wouldn't even be able to tell that she was breastfeeding.
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I just saw this as a good time to put in my 2 cents along with the others 
and leave women who are trying to feed their baby alone (and that means no glaring... THAT is rude).
