Parenting choices and respect (teachers, how to, dealing, running)
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I'm thinking I have this right. That it's just self edifying BS and justifying not working. I'll assume their reasons for feeling they need to justify not working are personal. Unfortunately, this leaves me where I started. Just ignoring certain family members.
I guess cutting arrogant people out of your life isn't a bad thing even if they are family. I don't like it though. It cuts the kids out too.
Good for you. You found a solution to your social problem.
And once again, my posts are ignored, and still no specific examples of all theses SAHM's supposedly asking for recognition. All this thread is is another excuse for Ivory to point out how worthless staying home is.
Apparently it is ok to put down SAHM's over and over again because working really is better; but it is not ok for a SAHM to put down working moms because that's not any better. Do I have it right?
Last edited by Kibbiekat; 01-20-2012 at 06:40 AM..
Really, I can't believe we are here again. There are Mom's who stay home and Mom's who work outside the home. What's the big deal?
I have a cousin who is constantly looking for validation on her SAHM choice - "Oprah says it's the hardest job in the world" blah blah blah. But she's pretty much the only SAHM that I know who is like that and she is deeply insecure - probably no matter what she did. No matter how much she has - biggest house; best kid; biggest car . . . nothing is enough to make her feel secure. That's a personal problem ~ not something I can generalize to ALL women who stay home with their kids.
Nope. I have defended WM's. You're reading into my posts if you think they put down SAHM's. I have pointed out that our kids turn out the same and the number one predictor of success is SES which WM's impact, in a positive way, for their families. These statements are in no way a put down to SAHM's. Not every family needs a WM to have a decent SES. Many do. When you do, you work and you hold your head high because you are benefitting your family and that's what good mothers do. It's a matter of what each family needs. If they don't need mom working, then she has a choice to make. If they do, she works.
Ah......so that's what this is all about? You want a pat on your back for being a good WORKING mother? Okay......here ***pat, pat, pat*** You're such a good mom for increasing your SES.
Really, I can't believe we are here again. There are Mom's who stay home and Mom's who work outside the home. What's the big deal?
I have a cousin who is constantly looking for validation on her SAHM choice - "Oprah says it's the hardest job in the world" blah blah blah. But she's pretty much the only SAHM that I know who is like that and she is deeply insecure - probably no matter what she did. No matter how much she has - biggest house; best kid; biggest car . . . nothing is enough to make her feel secure. That's a personal problem ~ not something I can generalize to ALL women who stay home with their kids.
I'm thinking I have this right. That it's just self edifying BS and justifying not working. I'll assume their reasons for feeling they need to justify not working are personal. Unfortunately, this leaves me where I started. Just ignoring certain family members.
I guess cutting arrogant people out of your life isn't a bad thing even if they are family. I don't like it though. It cuts the kids out too.
Just as they can assume your reasons for needing to justify working are personal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
Nope. I have defended WM's. You're reading into my posts if you think they put down SAHM's. I have pointed out that our kids turn out the same and the number one predictor of success is SES which WM's impact, in a positive way, for their families. These statements are in no way a put down to SAHM's. Not every family needs a WM to have a decent SES. Many do. When you do, you work and you hold your head high because you are benefitting your family and that's what good mothers do. It's a matter of what each family needs. If they don't need mom working, then she has a choice to make. If they do, she works.
See, there you are again justifying your choice. I'll just assume it is a personal issue.
No, I'm looking to understand why some SAHM's are this way.
Just to **** you off.
I have been trying to figure out why fundies think they have the right to shove their religion down my throat through legislation for years. I figure it is time to admit that I will never understand certain people.
But I confess I find your continued protestations disingenuous. You have been told several decent reasons for feeling this way, from residual historical perspective to reaction to your own incorrect view that WOHMs do all the same things SAHMs do (except extra housework) AND work as well. I, personally, don't need "validation" from anyone for anything. But if I were of that sort, I can see wanting you to change your erroneous opinion.
I'll assume their reasons for feeling they need to justify not working are personal.
That is exactly it. An assumption. As a SAHM who works on the side, I feel I should not have to justify myself to anyone who thinks my job is worthless or should not be respected because it does not bring home the bacon.
I worked many jobs before I had my children and being a SAHM and a wife is the hardest of them all. It truly breaks my heart when someone can be so critical and have such a disdain for women who are SAHMS just because they have a job.
Your vendetta against SAHMS is becoming more and more tyrannical to the point I am wondering whether or not you want a massive SAHM genocide or the government to impose laws forcing SAHM's to go to work or log in their productive hours and have husbands give them salaries to prove they are actually doing something at home.
Life should not be this way and people should do as they please and what is best for them and their families.
Please stop passing judgments on SAHMS just because your own personal experiences with your DIL have made you come to the conclusion that they are ALL this way. My own personal experiences with working moms have not and will never affect how I view working moms in general population. I would never approach a working mom with the snobbery that has been evident in this thread.
"Oh you work. How sad! You never have time for little Bobby and the husband. I on the other hand..." that is just so condenscing and a slap in the face for women everywhere.
And when its done to me and to others who are SAHMs it is equally hurtful.
Last edited by CD's Only Mrs. X; 01-20-2012 at 08:14 AM..
^^^ That's the whole thing! No one wants to be judged or put down for their choice. There ARE women out there who can not stand to stay at home all day with their kids. There are some who can not financially afford to stay at home and don't want to.....some who want to and can't, who go to work every day, feeling sick about leaving their children with someone else. There are SAHMs who are financially SET and choose to stay home and SAHMs whose families MAKE it work, even if it means going without a few of the "luxuries" that others are able to blow money on. There are SAHMs who have physically or mentally challenged children who MUST stay home with those children.
What it all boils down to is this.....How dare anyone think they have the right to "have to understand" their reasonings behind someone else's personal life choice? Can a person actually be considered mentally "stable", when they obsess over others who choose a different lifestyle? It's one thing to casually "wonder" why someone who is physically able to work outside the home doesn't, it's a whole lot different when you become so obsessed over it, that you think you're somehow "better" than others or think you deserve some sort of special recognition for YOUR choice!
That is exactly it. An assumption. As a SAHM who works on the side, I feel I should not have to justify myself to anyone who thinks my job is worthless or should not be respected because it does not bring home the bacon.
A further assumption on her part is that most/many people value working outside the home to the degree that she does so as to make justification even necessary.
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