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^^ Yes! You know, one of the things that probably bothers me the most about topics like this, are the posters who get irritated when some of us "parents" assert our authority. It's not as if little things like this destroy a child. If not allowing your child to have piercings or tatooes in their teens, has a profound and "damaging" effect on that child....I got news for ya, there was something wrong with that child already! It tells me that this child has some serious issues with authority/authority figures
Or their parents never taught them to give a rats pattootie about "authority" compared to reason, self control and thoughtfulness. My "authority" does not come from being in a certain role. To much ability to abuse that supposed authority. My authority comes not from being their parent. But from being a trustworthy and reasonable advocate for their safety and well being during their formative years.
I would hope they would toss any "authority" that was not out the window, whether they be teacher, priest, parent, guidance counselor and find someone who WAS.
I am the authority and I said so is just capricious.
Or their parents never taught them to give a rats pattootie about "authority" compared to reason, self control and thoughtfulness. My "authority" does not come from being in a certain role. To much ability to abuse that supposed authority. My authority comes not from being their parent. But from being a trustworthy and reasonable advocate for their safety and well being during their formative years.
I would hope they would toss any "authority" that was not out the window, whether they be teacher, priest, parent, guidance counselor and find someone who WAS.
I am the authority and I said so is just capricious.
who said anything about that? There have been several reasons given for not wanting to allow this: sexual nature of it, infection, scaring, personal belief that it is wrong to deface you body. The parent doesn't have to say "because I said so." They could and should give a reason if they say no.
Or their parents never taught them to give a rats pattootie about "authority" compared to reason, self control and thoughtfulness. My "authority" does not come from being in a certain role. To much ability to abuse that supposed authority. My authority comes not from being their parent. But from being a trustworthy and reasonable advocate for their safety and well being during their formative years.
I would hope they would toss any "authority" that was not out the window, whether they be teacher, priest, parent, guidance counselor and find someone who WAS.
I am the authority and I said so is just capricious.
Agreed That's where "relationship" comes into play, IMHO with our kids. ARE you a reliable source? Are you teaching your children well, giving them reason to trust you, so that they don't automatically believe and/or obey EVERYone who is an "authority figure". You read and see on the news, on a daily basis it seems, where "authority figures" can be a real danger to children!
Or their parents never taught them to give a rats pattootie about "authority" compared to reason, self control and thoughtfulness. My "authority" does not come from being in a certain role. To much ability to abuse that supposed authority. My authority comes not from being their parent. But from being a trustworthy and reasonable advocate for their safety and well being during their formative years.
I would hope they would toss any "authority" that was not out the window, whether they be teacher, priest, parent, guidance counselor and find someone who WAS.
I am the authority and I said so is just capricious.
This is an interesting point, and makes sense to a certain degree. But with kids, parents do have to sometimes take authority. I don't know a teenager that always felt like their parents were reasonable. Usually, they think their parents are being totally unreasonable when the parents ARE looking out for their best interest. There would have to be times where a parent says, "Look, you may not like it, but this is how it is." Some 12, 13, heck, even 10 year olds these days think it's perfectly reasonable to pierce what they want, wear what they want, go where they want, and "Moommm, NOTHING is going to happen to me! Everyone is doing it! Stop worrying so much!" 'Everyone is doing it' is a perfectly acceptable reason for a teenager, but a parent (should) know better, and be able to take the upper hand and say, "I don't care what everyone else is doing. As long as you live in this house and are under 18 years of age, this is how it's going to be." It's our job to step up and say NO whether the child likes or agrees with it or not. Explaining to them your reasons helps, but if it doesn't, that's just too bad imo. It is what it is, and yes, because I said so.
who said anything about that? There have been several reasons given for not wanting to allow this: sexual nature of it, infection, scaring, personal belief that it is wrong to deface you body. The parent doesn't have to say "because I said so." They could and should give a reason if they say no.
Yes. I agree. I was adding ON TO the discussion perhaps a side thought based on the word authority.
Agreed That's where "relationship" comes into play, IMHO with our kids. ARE you a reliable source? Are you teaching your children well, giving them reason to trust you, so that they don't automatically believe and/or obey EVERYone who is an "authority figure". You read and see on the news, on a daily basis it seems, where "authority figures" can be a real danger to children!
^^ Yes! You know, one of the things that probably bothers me the most about topics like this, are the posters who get irritated when some of us "parents" assert our authority. It's not as if little things like this destroy a child. If not allowing your child to have piercings or tatooes in their teens, has a profound and "damaging" effect on that child....I got news for ya, there was something wrong with that child already! It tells me that this child has some serious issues with authority/authority figures and those tendencies are going to manifest themselves in many ways as time goes by. It has nothing to do with tattooes or piercings...it has to do with that child's coping skills.
How is this subject much different than the argument of parents who allow their children to consume "a little bit" of alcohol and the parents who say NO! It's illegal! ? There are young adults who blame their parents for their alcoholism, stating that IF they had just let them drink when they were younger, they wouldn't have gotten so out of control later! As PARENTS, we not only have the RIGHT to exercise our "adult" judgement, but we also have a legal responsibility to do so.
You know funi....along this very line (been thinkin' about it a bit)....I've know parents who've allowed their teens to consume alcohol "under THEIR own roof". Some of these parents are then somehow dumbfounded that their child becomes a full-blown alcoholic...parents, shaking their heads in wonder and saying, "I just don't underSTAND. They had such a promising future! He/she was such a good kid!"
You know funi....along this very line (been thinkin' about it a bit)....I've know parents who've allowed their teens to consume alcohol "under THEIR own roof". Some of these parents are then somehow dumbfounded that their child becomes a full-blown alcoholic...parents, shaking their heads in wonder and saying, "I just don't underSTAND. They had such a promising future! He/she was such a good kid!"
This is what me and my boyfriend argue about the most in regards to raising our daughter. He is under the impression that if we let our daughter drink or smoke marijuana in our house that would be better than if she snuck and did it. Granted shes only 11 weeks old so we have a while to go but OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Smh why would I want her to think it was ok to drink or use drugs. SMH off topic but I just had to comment.
You know funi....along this very line (been thinkin' about it a bit)....I've know parents who've allowed their teens to consume alcohol "under THEIR own roof". Some of these parents are then somehow dumbfounded that their child becomes a full-blown alcoholic...parents, shaking their heads in wonder and saying, "I just don't underSTAND. They had such a promising future! He/she was such a good kid!"
It depends what you mean by consume alcohol under their own roof. My parents allowed us to have a glass of wine with dinner on Sunday. This showed how they thought alcohol was to be consumed. I think that is appropriate.
A guy I know in HS had a party where the Mom took the keys and supplied the beer. It was ... I was in high school, and I thought it was gross. The kid never, to my knowledge, became an alcoholic. But what a stupid lesson. Drink yourself until you are throwing up as long as Mom has your keys?
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That's where "relationship" comes into play, IMHO with our kids. ARE you a reliable source? Are you teaching your children well, giving them reason to trust you, so that they don't automatically believe and/or obey EVERYone who is an "authority figure". You read and see on the news, on a daily basis it seems, where "authority figures" can be a real danger to children!
yes
