Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 09-22-2011, 03:01 PM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,217,798 times
Reputation: 32581

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc View Post
My daughter, 4 going on 5, is smart as a whip. She is very quick, excels at puzzles, loves to organize. On top of that she is outgoing and funny. She is really "personality plus". All her teachers love her and I have no doubt she will sail through school, making a lot of As and being on the dance team.

BUT I don't think she is "gifted".

My son is funny too. He's cute and is a real sweetheart. But he is not so social. He struggles in school; he is disorganized. He is intense and thinks about things like nuclear design that his cousins, also 8 years old, don't think about. (They still think about Pokemon).

HE is gifted.

Really, if you are the parent of a gifted child, the difference is obvious; just like if you have a child with an LD, that difference is obvious.

The gifted child stands out from the norm.
Sit down because I'm going to pay you a huge compliment.....

You get it. You know that there is a difference between your children and how they learn. You also, obviously, appreciate them for what they are. Not what they could be. Or what you WANT them to be.

I am so impressed. This is one tough concept to grasp.

Now the trick is to see that they are each educated in the way that best suits them. One size does not fit all.

The other trick is making sure the Smart daughter doesn't feel inferior to Gifted son. And you also have to make sure the gifted son doesn't walk through life thinking he's superior to everyone else. (Can you tell I have stories, lol?) Every once in a while Gifted might have to be tapped on the nose and re-directed. Especially if his schooling puts him in gifted classes. (Some parents of gifted children can be major butt-pains. Oh, yeah. I've got stories.)

Good job Calgirl. p.s. I'd never pressure your son in his stuies. He's also sensitive. It's a very tricky (sometimes heart-wrenching for the mother) combination.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 09-22-2011, 03:10 PM
 
Location: In a George Strait Song
9,546 posts, read 7,083,780 times
Reputation: 14047
Thank you, Dew, for the lovely post.

Thank you too for not just judging, but for understanding what I was trying to say....

and that is that my kids are different from each other. If you are a parent who knows/believes that one of your children is gifted, it doesn't mean you think ALL of them are gifted.

BTW--I am glad one is a boy and one is a girl and that there are 4 years between them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2011, 03:15 PM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,061,674 times
Reputation: 4513
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
Wow, that was an unnecessarily harsh reply.
You're right. I have deleted my posts to the thread.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2011, 03:16 PM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,217,798 times
Reputation: 32581
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc View Post
BTW--I am glad one is a boy and one is a girl and that there are 4 years between them.
Excellent. He can help her with her homework.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2011, 03:17 PM
 
28,163 posts, read 25,338,432 times
Reputation: 16665
Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
You're right. I have deleted my posts to the thread.
As have I.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2011, 03:17 PM
 
Location: In a George Strait Song
9,546 posts, read 7,083,780 times
Reputation: 14047
Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
That said, it used raise my hackles when a certain frequent poster would use the term "special snowflakes" but I think I get her point now.

Beg to differ. If you are using the term "special snowflakes", then no, you DON'T get it.

Being gifted doesn't make my son special. It makes him DIFFERENT.

You cannot know how many times I have wished he was just smart. Our lives....his life...would be so much easier.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2011, 03:28 PM
 
572 posts, read 1,300,456 times
Reputation: 425
Quote:
Originally Posted by calgirlinnc View Post
NICE post.

If you wouldn't have a chip on your shoulder the size of Texas, you would realize it IS the point.

Everyone thinks that if you say your child is "gifted" you are bragging, etc.

But Jojo is right. Gifted children are (can be) hard to raise.

Gifted children do not automatically do well in school.

It is much easier to have a child like my daughter who is bright, but still fits the norm of the classroom.

THAT is why I was comparing the two.
YES!!!! It's very difficult to raise my DD, I would take 1,000 children with autism, over my DD. She gets bored easier, she has the ego the size of Manhattan. She is capable of doing well in school as long as she is engaged, if not engaged, she is mouthy, know-it-all, etc... She reminds me of Hermoine in Harry Potter. I have to be on my toes with her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2011, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,469 posts, read 7,201,871 times
Reputation: 3499
Quote:
Originally Posted by jojo61397 View Post
It is different. Gifted children are difficult to raise. And my dd does understand concepts beyond memorization. She is labeled as gifted, this is not something, I made up. I am of average-to-above average intelligence. My husband is gifted, as well. It's very common to have one child on the autism spectrum, and another on gifted end of the spectrum.
Or to have one child who is both. They're not generally opposites.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2011, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,469 posts, read 7,201,871 times
Reputation: 3499
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Sit down because I'm going to pay you a huge compliment.....

You get it. You know that there is a difference between your children and how they learn. You also, obviously, appreciate them for what they are. Not what they could be. Or what you WANT them to be.

I am so impressed. This is one tough concept to grasp.

Now the trick is to see that they are each educated in the way that best suits them. One size does not fit all.

The other trick is making sure the Smart daughter doesn't feel inferior to Gifted son. And you also have to make sure the gifted son doesn't walk through life thinking he's superior to everyone else. (Can you tell I have stories, lol?) Every once in a while Gifted might have to be tapped on the nose and re-directed. Especially if his schooling puts him in gifted classes. (Some parents of gifted children can be major butt-pains. Oh, yeah. I've got stories.)

Good job Calgirl. p.s. I'd never pressure your son in his stuies. He's also sensitive. It's a very tricky (sometimes heart-wrenching for the mother) combination.
Wish I could rep you, Dew, but I'd have to go spend a week on the religion board first.
Even amongst evenly-matched sibs, the inferior/superior thing arises. The two eldest neatly divided the world between the two of them. It was fine that one liked languages and one liked math, but the problem arose when "like" became "is good at". And because Susie gets a 100 and Josie gets a 99, Josie decides she's not good at math or she'd have done as well as her sister. Gack!
And oh, the kids I know who could use smacks with a rolled up newspaper...including, occasionally, Manchild. (Though since I'm pretty liberal with the nose-smacking, he doesn't need it nearly so often as a few of his classmates.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 09-22-2011, 03:51 PM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,469 posts, read 7,201,871 times
Reputation: 3499
Quote:
Originally Posted by jojo61397 View Post
YES!!!! It's very difficult to raise my DD, I would take 1,000 children with autism, over my DD. She gets bored easier, she has the ego the size of Manhattan. She is capable of doing well in school as long as she is engaged, if not engaged, she is mouthy, know-it-all, etc... She reminds me of Hermoine in Harry Potter. I have to be on my toes with her.
Not sure how old your dd is, but I can tell you that around here lectures often begin with "I don't care how smart you are, and I don't care how autistic you are. THAT <fill in the blank> is simply unacceptable and it will. not. occur. again." (Young Miss Aconite is in her early teens, and consequently hears a lot of lectures.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top