What Parents Really Want to Tell Teachers (bullying, son, school)
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Reading the other thread helped me see a teacher's POV. I think it's only fair that teachers hear a parent's POV as well.
1. Please understand that the most important thing in my life is my child; my child's health, well being, happiness and education. Dont let a few 'bad apples' color how you feel about all parents, because our motherly instincts pick up on this right away.
2. Please understand that if I am contacting you, it is about an issue I feel is important. Please don't minimize my concerns or think I am being a PIA parent. We pick up on that right away as well.
3. If I do contact you, please respond so I know you received my call or note. I know you are very busy, but when I don't hear back I begin to think you may be a teacher that avoids parents as much as possible. We pick up in that as well.
4. Please understand that if I ask my child "Is that true", it is not to question you, but to put my child on the spot. I will know immediately if he/she is lying.
5. Please understand that I know my child best and find it insulting when a teacher insinuates otherwise. My child may spend a lot of time in your classroom, but the time I spend with my child is often one on one. I see him/her at best and worst. I know his/her weaknesses and strengths, quirks and mannerisms better than anyone.
6. Please don't insinuate you can parent my child better than me. You many not agree with my parenting style, but there is no one style that is necessarily better than another. We parent in a manner that fits our family situation best.
This is just off the top of my head. Anyone have anything to add? Please try not to bash teachers or parents, but try to understand the other's POV.
Reading the other thread helped me see a teacher's POV. I think it's only fair that teachers hear a parent's POV as well.
1. Please understand that the most important thing in my life is my child; my child's health, well being, happiness and education. Dont let a few 'bad apples' color how you feel about all parents, because our motherly instincts pick up on this right away.
2. Please understand that if I am contacting you, it is about an issue I feel is important. Please don't minimize my concerns or think I am being a PIA parent. We pick up on that right away as well.
3. If I do contact you, please respond so I know you received my call or note. I know you are very busy, but when I don't hear back I begin to think you may be a teacher that avoids parents as much as possible. We pick up in that as well.
4. Please understand that if I ask my child "Is that true", it is not to question you, but to put my child on the spot. I will know immediately if he/she is lying.
Why would you set your child up to lie?
Quote:
This is just off the top of my head. Anyone have anything to add? Please try not to bash teachers or parents, but try to understand the other's POV.
IMO if we stopped assigning ourselves as roles which we need to defend, parent or teacher, and started acting as individuals with the common best interest of the children at heart, we would not need these lists.
Reading the other thread helped me see a teacher's POV. I think it's only fair that teachers hear a parent's POV as well.
1. Please understand that the most important thing in my life is my child; my child's health, well being, happiness and education. Dont let a few 'bad apples' color how you feel about all parents, because our motherly instincts pick up on this right away.
2. Please understand that if I am contacting you, it is about an issue I feel is important. Please don't minimize my concerns or think I am being a PIA parent. We pick up on that right away as well.
3. If I do contact you, please respond so I know you received my call or note. I know you are very busy, but when I don't hear back I begin to think you may be a teacher that avoids parents as much as possible. We pick up in that as well.
4. Please understand that if I ask my child "Is that true", it is not to question you, but to put my child on the spot. I will know immediately if he/she is lying.
5. Please understand that I know my child best and find it insulting when a teacher insinuates otherwise. My child may spend a lot of time in your classroom, but the time I spend with my child is often one on one. I see him/her at best and worst. I know his/her weaknesses and strengths, quirks and mannerisms better than anyone.
6. Please don't insinuate you can parent my child better than me. You many not agree with my parenting style, but there is no one style that is necessarily better than another. We parent in a manner that fits our family situation best.
This is just off the top of my head. Anyone have anything to add? Please try not to bash teachers or parents, but try to understand the other's POV.
My child has only been in school for two full years a c ouple of weeks into his third, I've had no issues with his teachers and have felt like I've had a great relationship with them. Education is one of my top priorities for my son so I work hard with him on it, I have no beef with the teachers.
However point #4 I agree with 100%!! I do this all the time and it's never because I'm second guessing the authenticity of the teachers statements. It's because I want my child to fess up to it right there in front of both of us and be made to squirm a little bit. No bringing it up for the first time later when I know he's going to try to make it seem like "it's not my fault", nope face the facts right here right now with your teacher here to remind you how it REALLY happened.
If I ever felt like I had a lying or unfair teacher, trust me I would not be bringing it up in front of my child, I'd be bringing it up in the principals office.
Most children will lie to get out of trouble and will do it more often with parents because A) we were not there to witness it and b) we are easier to 'get over' on because we WANT to believe our child.
Also, confronting the child immediately gives them less chance to formulate an untruth, particularly when questioned in front of the one person who actually witnessed the misbehavior. It also gives the child less time to rationalize their behavior, which everyone, INCLUDING adults, do, plus consequences can then be doled out almost immediately.
However point #4 I agree with 100%!! I do this all the time and it's never because I'm second guessing the authenticity of the teachers statements. It's because I want my child to fess up to it right there in front of both of us and be made to squirm a little bit. No bringing it up for the first time later when I know he's going to try to make it seem like "it's not my fault", nope face the facts right here right now with your teacher here to remind you how it REALLY happened.
If I ever felt like I had a lying or unfair teacher, trust me I would not be bringing it up in front of my child, I'd be bringing it up in the principals office.
Reading the other thread helped me see a teacher's POV. I think it's only fair that teachers hear a parent's POV as well.
1. Please understand that the most important thing in my life is my child; my child's health, well being, happiness and education. Dont let a few 'bad apples' color how you feel about all parents, because our motherly instincts pick up on this right away.
2. Please understand that if I am contacting you, it is about an issue I feel is important. Please don't minimize my concerns or think I am being a PIA parent. We pick up on that right away as well.
3. If I do contact you, please respond so I know you received my call or note. I know you are very busy, but when I don't hear back I begin to think you may be a teacher that avoids parents as much as possible. We pick up in that as well.
4. Please understand that if I ask my child "Is that true", it is not to question you, but to put my child on the spot. I will know immediately if he/she is lying.
5. Please understand that I know my child best and find it insulting when a teacher insinuates otherwise. My child may spend a lot of time in your classroom, but the time I spend with my child is often one on one. I see him/her at best and worst. I know his/her weaknesses and strengths, quirks and mannerisms better than anyone.
6. Please don't insinuate you can parent my child better than me. You many not agree with my parenting style, but there is no one style that is necessarily better than another. We parent in a manner that fits our family situation best.
This is just off the top of my head. Anyone have anything to add? Please try not to bash teachers or parents, but try to understand the other's POV.
I don't ask "is this true?" per se, but I will ask my child for his or her version of what's true. Because realistically, teachers are human. They cannot always see everything, they do occasionally miss nuances, and there may be things going on that the teacher simply didn't think were germane, but which are. That doesn't mean that I'm discounting the teacher's report, but that I want all the pieces, or at least as many as possible, before I decide how or if I want/need to follow up. (I don't utilize just one media news source, either.) Not to mention the fact that one of my children has an eidetic memory for dialog, which I've found extremely helpful in some situations, like when the fourth grade teacher thought Young Miss Aconite was remiss in not wanting to be BFFs with the kids who were bullying her on a regular basis.
You may THINK you know your child best but I can tell you that kids act very differently at school then they do at home after years of volunteering in the classrooms and knowing the kids outside of school. What you may THINK your child is like isn't always the case. I would say that your child's classmates know your child better than you do...
You may THINK you know your child best but I can tell you that kids act very differently at school then they do at home after years of volunteering in the classrooms and knowing the kids outside of school. What you may THINK your child is like isn't always the case. I would say that your child's classmates know your child better than you do...
Do you think no one else volunteers in the classroom or knows the kids outside school?
You may THINK you know your child best but I can tell you that kids act very differently at school then they do at home after years of volunteering in the classrooms and knowing the kids outside of school. What you may THINK your child is like isn't always the case. I would say that your child's classmates know your child better than you do...
My child's classmates may know some things about my child that I do not, but they certainly don't know my child better than I do.
My child may act differently in school but that does not mean the teacher knows my child better than I do, and I find that assumption by some teachers to ber very out of line.
I don't ask "is this true?" per se, but I will ask my child for his or her version of what's true. Because realistically, teachers are human. They cannot always see everything, they do occasionally miss nuances, and there may be things going on that the teacher simply didn't think were germane, but which are. That doesn't mean that I'm discounting the teacher's report, but that I want all the pieces, or at least as many as possible, before I decide how or if I want/need to follow up. (I don't utilize just one media news source, either.) Not to mention the fact that one of my children has an eidetic memory for dialog, which I've found extremely helpful in some situations, like when the fourth grade teacher thought Young Miss Aconite was remiss in not wanting to be BFFs with the kids who were bullying her on a regular basis.
We had the same problem with my son last year in 4th grade. His teacher was concerned with his socialization, but never seemed to 'get' just how much the daily bullying was effecting his socializing with the kids. It was a tough year that would have been made worse had I taken the teacher's interpretation of the situation 100%.
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