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How do I not raise my voice when he is not stopping (I realize he panicked) and we are about to hit an oncoming vehicle?
I need some help as to how to handle this thing. We got in way over our heads by ending up on the main road (we're new to the area to boot).
Any words of advice for me??
One thing you have to understand is that new drivers are very careful drivers but they don't look beyond the front of the car.
You have to teach them to anticipate - when driving in a 25 mile zone make them tell you what they need to look for - dogs running loose, kids chasing a ball, cars pulling out of driveways. When driving in a city, they need to look for one way signs, and many pedestrians, on an interstate, they have other things to consider but not so much the pedestrians and kids playing.
Teach them to look beyond the hood of the car, to consider all that may happen as they roll into a scene.
It's best to start on roads already well known by the student and teacher because the student needs to learn how to process all the information without trying to find streets and where to turn.
You will survive, just don't yell, relax, be quiet, I did have a "cue" for my kids, when I felt like they were making poor choices, I said, "slow, slow" even if they were going the speed limit.
That reminds me of my father when I was learning to drive.
I was stopped at a red light, first car in line. The light turned green, I put my foot on the gas, he grabbed the dash board and yelled "SLOW DOWN."
I had only gone 2 or 3 feet!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1
Hmm. Wine, trancs, and Klonopin. I think I'm getting the hint. It's more than nerve racking.
Thanks!
Whatever it takes to stay calm. Freaking out and making them tense only makes it more dangerous.
My mother was great because she had professional training in how to remain calm as a nurse.
My father was the opposite. When he was teaching my mother to drive, she abandoned the car in the middle of an intersection. He was that bad!
And it's best to prepare them before they take the wheel, when you're driving point out signs and ask them what the sign means and what you should do or be planning to do. Start training them to look way down the road for hazards and tell you what all the hazards might be.
Get them into the backseat driver mode and make sure they seem aware of what driving involves before you hand them the wheel. It's also good to let them get to learn the feel of the car out in some open space if possible. How to brake, turn, signal, but without anyone in the way.
I won't let a kid drive through a residential area, city street, interstate until they can tell me what's different about them and what they need to look for and be cautious of. A long distance trip is also important, they need to learn about fatigue, pulling a trailer, how the interstates work, where to pull over and when to pull over even to sleep a little.
We are headed back to the empty school parking lot today; to practice our starts and stops; turns; staying in the lines and maybe some backing up here or there. I will be medicated
I'll keep you guys posted and thanks, thanks for all the advice!
then, hubby took me out (when i was 16, it was before we were married, obviously) LMAO
whenever hubby gripes about my driving (which really isnt often, other than i follow the speed limit and am therefore going too slow LOL) i always remind him that HE taught me to drive (being more willing/brave/ or stupid than any of my family) LOL
When I was teaching my son to drive, I told him that the only things that I would say in the car were things that were very, very important. Otherwise, I would just sit quietly. That way as soon as I opened my mouth to say something like "Stop", he listened.
My husband was the opposite. Talk, talk, talk.... "It's important to come to a full stop" or "Watch your speed" - stuff like that. The more he talked, the less our son listened.
When I was teaching my son to drive, I told him that the only things that I would say in the car were things that were very, very important. Otherwise, I would just sit quietly. That way as soon as I opened my mouth to say something like "Stop", he listened.
My husband was the opposite. Talk, talk, talk.... "It's important to come to a full stop" or "Watch your speed" - stuff like that. The more he talked, the less our son listened.
So, my advice is to only say what has to be said!
Good luck
I had a version of that, too!
Also, I was constantly telling my kids to move over (usually to the right, as they would crowd the center line). They'd say "I am over". Finally, with DD#2 I said, "When I say to move over, you NEED to move over. Do you understand that?" She got it. I do not feel this is being too controlling when you realize their lives are at stake if they make a mistake. This is not like math homework.
DH and I seemed to work at odds with each other, too. He would tell our daughters to be careful not to hit the curbs, b/c of possible damage to the tires. I felt it more important to not hit the car across the center line. It would be a good idea (in retrospect) to work these things out between the parents.
Well, today went much better. We spent lots of time in the parking lot, practicing left and right turns and smooth stops.
Then we went out to a quiet neighborhood with little traffic and drove there. It's cold today so not many children out playing.
I can see that he tends to panick when he does see an approaching vehicle; so I made sure to keep calm. I will have to watch my running commentary.
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Freaking out and making them tense only makes it more dangerous. 
