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Hi,
DD has been invited to a birthday partyof a 4 year old. The parents have specified no gifts on the invitation but have suggested that attendees bring a charity gift certificate (which the birthday kid will later donate ) if they so wish. We dont go to many birthday parties so I dont know what the norm is.
My question is what is the etiquette here:
1>Do I have really to bring a charity gift certificate at the party? I am planning to have DD stop by and give a card and a small goody bag for the birthday boy on his birthday.The party is on a later date.
2> what is a good amount to put on the charity gift certificate without looking cheap ,if I have to take it ? Any help will be greatly appreciated.....
The brithday kid is from the same neighbourhood whom we see once in a a while.
You don't have to have a dollar amount on the "proof of donation." Let's say you donate to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Phone them. Donate whatever you like over the phone and ask them to email you a letter that says, "a donation was made in honor of Michael's 4th birthday."
That should be sufficient and you can give what you feel.
i wouldnt do any more than wht i would spend on a gift - for someone we know well and see often maybe $20, for someone thats only a school or daycare friend or that we dont really know, about half that.
It is definitely becoming more common. We have been to parties where you take a toy that will be donated to foster children, or pet food for the humane shelter. Personally I think it's a wonderful idea. Most children I know have more than enough toys.
I just brought a gift anyway to the party my daughter was invited to like this and ignored the charitable request.
The problem with that approach is that the other parents didn't bring gifts, and they see that you did, so they feel bad. So, next time everyone brings a gift and the birthday parents are like "What they hell, can't anyone follow a simple request?"
We always invite the neighborhood kids over for birthday parties. We always specify no gifts on the invitation. Someone always brings one, so we have to deftly toss it inside the house so that nobody sees it. Then we toss it into the Goodwill pile in the closet for later donation.
Gobi512,
I was hoping to do something like you suggested, but the parents want the guests to bring a certificate from a website they have suggested, where we have to buy the gift donation and the recepient will donate it to the charity of their choice & will see the denomination when they redeem the donation certificate.
I dont want to ignore their request about no gifts & am not sure if I want to do the donation certifcate thing either. I thought of giving the kid a card and a small bag of some candy & a little toy ahead of the party....
I agree that there should ideally not be a mention of gifts on the invite. But if the parent wants to go the donation route, then the gift giver should at least have a choice as to the means of the donation. I am just not comfortable completely when an amount shows up in a gift I give or receive.
I guess I will just bring the donation certificate to the party. After all the kids are kind of neighbours ......
So they're actually dictating HOW you should donate? Not only no, but hell no. I'd call the parents, and ask which charity their 4-year-old child wants the money donated to. And then I'd send a donation directly to that charity.
A "donation certificate" on the internet gives me the impression that a percentage of that donation, is going to whichever "organization" is providing the certificate. Like, you donate $20 using "Donate2Me dot com" and $10 goes to "Donate2Me dot com" for "administrative purposes," as a fee...
it sounds like a scam, and the hosts of this party are asking you to pay into a scam. Especially since they get to find out how much you paid.
When you give a present to a child, the parents don't get to see how much you paid for it. It's presumptuous. If they don't want their kid to have presents, then they don't want their kid to have presents. But to ask for donations to "no charity in particular" with a method that tells the parents exactly how much you spent is just bad form.
The answer to your etiquette question is that this child's parents have good intentions, but horrible ettiquite!
If he is a "good" friend, do the present thing on his Bday. If he's not, don't bother.
I think the website is tacky- you really can't look "wrong" if you make a donation to Ronald mcDonald Houses or JDRF or your Children's Hopsital/Medical Center or Scottish Rite or a local Children's Advocacy Center (all charities that help kids) and just have a card sent thanking for the donation in the boy's honor.
*IF* the real point is to make the boy's Bday about helping kid's in need, the parents cannot get "snippy" if you don't follow THEIR "rules", ya know?!
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