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I do have one question though. One big thing I always taught my kids was no secrets, no lies. Why are you teaching your children about sneaking around and keeping secrets? You may think it is normal, but I can assure you if Johnny tells his buddies in kindergarten that he is still breastfeeding, you better put your house up for sale and move.
Who says that I tell her that it's a secret and not to tell people? She can tell people if she wants to. I don't think it really comes up too much. Even if she brings up nursing around friends, say when playing dolls with a friend, it would come up that the baby doll was nursing, not her.
My daughter still thinks that everyone else does things mostly like we do . She was surprised recently when I told her that she may be the only kid in her class who isn't weaned. Since we only nurse in bed, she just assumed that other people did too, so she doesn't expect to see it. She was just as surprised to learn that she was the only kid in her class who celebrated Chanukah though. But if she did mention something about nursing, I don't think anyone would really care too much. At least not any more than they cared about Chanukah. Admittedly, she goes to a pretty "crunchy" school (Reggio style). For all I know, some of the other kids in her class may well still nurse too - it's just not something that comes up. My daughter does have 2 other friends her age who I am close enough with their moms to know that they still nurse as well. It's not the kind of thing that comes up in casual conversation, but we aren't keeping any secrets either.
At 20 mos I don't think it is a concern. I am speaking only of the older kids. The preschoolers. There is no way these kids are telling their playmates they still breastfeed. At least, I hope they aren't.
Knowing that it needs to be kept secret, implies that it is wrong. I don't know, just doesn't seem like a great lesson to teach.
Another point about breast feedding Moms that get other people to criticize them that I don't think they consider. You all (I mean everyone not just CD posters) really have a superiority complex when it comes to the argument. Trust me, you do not care more about your children than bottle feeding Moms, so stop implying that you do. The high horse you live on is what sets people off, not the breastfeeding itself.
I mentioned 20 months only because even at this age she *knows* that breastfeeding is a private matter. It is not to be done in front of others. Do you have no private matters with your children?
In regards to your last paragraph, it shouldn't be superiority complex. It is inferiority complex and these people shouldn't be viewed with contempt but with pity.
I'm sorry, but wasn't the whole point of this thread to attack moms who extended-breastfeed? It wasn't started to put down moms who DON'T breastfeed. How is defending what you feel to be right for your child the same as having a superiority complex?
Ditto that! Someone criticizes your parenting, and you can't defend yourself by saying that you are just doing what you feel is best and here's why you have made that choice? Even when specifically asked why you have made that choice?
We absolutely do not do it in public just like we don't do other private things in public but don't feel the need to mention it.
Just because something is done in private, doesn't mean it can't be mentioned in public. My 4 1/2 year old goes to the bathroom in private. But he has no problem announcing, "Mommy, I have to go potty" in front of anyone who happens to be present at the time. It doesn't mean he is actually going potty in front of people. If a 4 1/2 year old announced, "Mommy, I have to nurse" in front of a crowd of people, I think some eyebrows would be raised. And if it was in front of the 4 1/2 year old's peers, the poor kid would be ridiculed.
I'm sorry, but wasn't the whole point of this thread to attack moms who extended-breastfeed? It wasn't started to put down moms who DON'T breastfeed. How is defending what you feel to be right for your child the same as having a superiority complex?
Exactly! People feel like it's perfectly acceptable to attack us for our choices but then when we try to explain and defend ourselves we're accused of having a superiority complex. Seriously?
Just because something is done in private, doesn't mean it can't be mentioned in public. My 4 1/2 year old goes to the bathroom in private. But he has no problem announcing, "Mommy, I have to go potty" in front of anyone who happens to be present at the time. It doesn't mean he is actually going potty in front of people. If a 4 1/2 year old announced, "Mommy, I have to nurse" in front of a crowd of people, I think some eyebrows would be raised. And if it was in front of the 4 1/2 year old's peers, the poor kid would be ridiculed.
And just because something is done in private, doesn't mean it is a secret or a bad thing. If my child was ridiculed by her peers because she used the word "nurse" around them, which BTW, they probably wouldn't know what that meant, all it means is that they are letting us know the kind of people they are.
Just because something is done in private, doesn't mean it can't be mentioned in public. My 4 1/2 year old goes to the bathroom in private. But he has no problem announcing, "Mommy, I have to go potty" in front of anyone who happens to be present at the time. It doesn't mean he is actually going potty in front of people. If a 4 1/2 year old announced, "Mommy, I have to nurse" in front of a crowd of people, I think some eyebrows would be raised. And if it was in front of the 4 1/2 year old's peers, the poor kid would be ridiculed.
Fortunately I don't base my parenting decisions on what what a crowd of people, some of whom are preschoolers might think. At 3 my dd was nursing 3 times a day all in bed at home (when she woke up, before her nap and before bed) at 4 she nursed for a grand total of a second or two every few days. Most 4 year olds who are still nursing don't have any need to do it in front of others and if people find about about it's OK because it's nothing to be ashamed of. None of my dd's preschool aged friends would have thought anything about the fact that she was still nursing at 4. Most of them nursed a long time as well or at the very least didn't think of nursing as something shameful or odd. I personally don't know any 4 and a half year olds who make fun of each other in mean spirited ways.
Fortunately I don't base my parenting decisions on what what a crowd of people, some of whom are preschoolers might think. At 3 my dd was nursing 3 times a day all in bed at home (when she woke up, before her nap and before bed) at 4 she nursed for a grand total of a second or two every few days. Most 4 year olds who are still nursing don't have any need to do it in front of others and if people find about about it's OK because it's nothing to be ashamed of. None of my dd's preschool aged friends would have thought anything about the fact that she was still nursing at 4. Most of them nursed a long time as well or at the very least didn't think of nursing as something shameful or odd. I personally don't know any 4 and a half year olds who make fun of each other in mean spirited ways.
The only thing I could think of is that parents who are concerned about their child being ridiculed either never had a child bullied (not just ridiculed). I was bottle-fed but yet I was still bullied, ridiculed, etc. The reasons have nothing to do with what I was doing privately but what I was doing publicly. Most of the time, my 20 month old does not ask to nurse publicly and if she does, most don't notice, at least those who have better things to do. They only notice when I get up and leave.
No one is criticizing extended breastfeeding, which by the way is classified as breastfeeding beyond a year. I did it. My first self-weaned at 18 months, the second, to my dismay, at 12 months. The age of the child in the OP is 6 years old. That is what people are having trouble wrapping their minds around. I can see extending through 3, even 4 at a push, but by the time school starts, and especially by the time they are 6 or in 1st grade, I have never heard a rational explanation to continue. My daughter is 7, and honestly knowing kids that age, if anyone was still nursing, their life would be a living hell at school. So if it's not for the emotional satisfaction of the mother as everyone vehementy denies, what explanation could there be, other than the fact that weaning just has not happened? Sure the child will probably want to continue if not stopped, but in my mind it's habit, and wanting to please mom. If someone has a better explanation, I'm all ears. And honestly I'm not criticizing here. It definitely wouldn't work for me, and at 6 I don't personally think it's a great choice for the child, but whatever floats your boat. I am however trying to undertsand why.
And at six, no, it's not normal. It isn't normal, or usual, or common, for a 6-year-old to be nursing, and it is especially not normal, or usual, or common for a 6-year-old with a new baby sibling to tandem nurse his mother along with his baby sibling. It isn't normal, or common, or usual. It is even more abnormal, uncommon, and unusual, for anyone to think it is normal, common, or unusual. Just _believing it is normal, common, or usual_ is abnormal.
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