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If you honestly believe that there are good SAHMs then why stoop to that posters level and generalize SAHMs and say such offensive remarks about them as a whole? Doesn't that make you one of those divisive Mommies that you spoke of earlier?
BTW. I was thinking back to those people who I knew in college who ended up being coke heads, drunks and sluts and the main thing that they had in common was that their parents provided them with a lot of cash, very little attention and had low expectations of them overall. Most (not all) came from dual income wealthy families. It has nothing at all to do with being raised by a sahm or wohm mom, it has much more to do with family values and relationships.
I have met that Mom and contrary to your prior assertion that my child is too young for me to have been indoctrinated into "Mommy world" I have. It starts early. I've had WOHMs look down their nose at me for being a SAHM. I've been judged for breastfeeding past the age of one, I've been judged for co-sleeping. The list can go on and on. It's not about SAHMs vs WOHMs because there are a******* on both sides of the fence. No matter what a mother chooses to do there will always be someone looking down on them from their high horse, judging.
You know what? You are right. I am actually just venting 20 years of frustration that I dealt with. I don't have to grin and bear it and shut my mouth anymore and this is the internet so it is easy. I never stooped to their level when it was going on, I shouldn't now.
And btw, I was raised by an incredibly wonderful SAHM who is probably rolling over in her grave at the sight of me insulting them. Sorry, Mom.
Well perhaps the friend who "did not have the time yet" to respond to your email just had prioritized it really low on her list of work, grocery shopping, kids (homework, activities, etc...), household chores, and social obligations, but felt saying she did not have the time was gentler than saying "you are 99th out of 100 on my priority list right now".
Sometimes saying "I don't have the time for that" is the fast and easy way to avoid saying "I don't want to/Its not my priority/I'd rather just sit and watch CSI: Miami for an hour/etc...."
I am in a similar situation as you: I SAH, I have 4 kids, my husband travels a lot for his job, and I have no family nearby. Sometimes I "don't have the time" when I, truthfully, don't have the energy, or don't feel like being social, or just want to be able to sit down to dinner and have a nice quiet family evening, or whatever. I DO have the time, just may not use it for things someone else in my situation would or for what someone thinks I should use it for. I am not the happiest SAHM but one of the things I will miss when I work is the ability to have a little down time (and I mean stuff like taking 1-2 hours for family dinner (preparation through eating through relaxing afterwards)). I think there are working moms who "don't have the time for XYZ" who really just want to sit with their kids or their husband and just BE, but there are people who would not understand that so its just really easy to say "I'm too busy" or whatever.
OP, after reading through this thread and trying to find the right appropiate words I hope you get the context of what I am trying to say.
First and foremost, women whether we are SAHM's or career moms have very busy lives. Our priorities are arranged to suit our lifestyles and our family lifestyle. Sending an email is on the bottom of the list.
Regardless of income, if a career mom chooses to work whether its to buy the latest Michael Kors bag or Christian Louboutin shoes, that is her choice. For you as a 'friend' (and I put this in quotes because I don't believe you are good friend to her) to judge her and make fun of her well frankly makes you judgemental although you seem to claim your not. I hope this friend with a love of handbags sees through the backstabbing and snarkiness and ends this friendship.
If your complaint is about one particular friend who ******* and moans about their lifestyle choices, then don't take their calls, end the friendship and move on with your life. I feel you are spending way to much of your time worrying about someone you particularly don't can't for and then taking that anger to make broad generalizations of women whether they are career moms or SAHMS.
I feel you need to reevaluate your 'friendships' and focus more on yourself than an others. Don't use your experience with one person to sterotype millions who are out there making a living by choice just to have better things in life.
I know deep down you know that when you started this thread it was going to get heated. You even posted it in your original post. So don't shoot the messagener when they come back with the reply you didn't want.
JKCOOP gave the best advice here and think about what others have said as well.
I do understand what you are talking about NYMD. I have a freind (who happens to be a SAHM but that's irrelevant) who volunteers for everything, she's class mom for all of her kids, she's a scout leader to two of them, she's involved in PTO fundraising the list goes on. She even makes up things the teachers don't request - cupcakes for Arbor Day or a full Thanksgiving dinner which she prepares entirely herself for a first grade class. I think it's great that she does all of those things but she is constantly complaining about having to run here or there. If you run into her in the Supermarket or at the school -she'll run by shouting her agenda for the day and complaining "I just dropped off cookies for soandso's class but one kid has a peanut allergy so I was up till 2 am redoing the recipe and now I'm off to the library but I forgot the books because my son lost his backpack blah blah blah." I'm convinced she takes on half of these activities just to complain. She does all of these great things but never has anything positive to say about them.
You know what? You are right. I am actually just venting 20 years of frustration that I dealt with. I don't have to grin and bear it and shut my mouth anymore and this is the internet so it is easy. I never stooped to their level when it was going on, I shouldn't now.
And btw, I was raised by an incredibly wonderful SAHM who is probably rolling over in her grave at the sight of me insulting them. Sorry, Mom.
I do understand what you are talking about NYMD. I have a freind (who happens to be a SAHM but that's irrelevant) who volunteers for everything, she's class mom for all of her kids, she's a scout leader to two of them, she's involved in PTO fundraising the list goes on. She even makes up things the teachers don't request - cupcakes for Arbor Day or a full Thanksgiving dinner which she prepares entirely herself for a first grade class. I think it's great that she does all of those things but she is constantly complaining about having to run here or there. If you run into her in the Supermarket or at the school -she'll run by shouting her agenda for the day and complaining "I just dropped off cookies for soandso's class but one kid has a peanut allergy so I was up till 2 am redoing the recipe and now I'm off to the library but I forgot the books because my son lost his backpack blah blah blah." I'm convinced she takes on half of these activities just to complain. She does all of these great things but never has anything positive to say about them.
Then why are you still friends with this person? Or better yet if you choose to remain friends with her, why don't you just answer the phone "Laulob's complaint hotline. What is your complaint today?" And when she answers "What?" You tell her, you are always calling to complain about your day when are you going to call me and ask me how I am am or something relevant that doesn't include you moaning about your day.
Then why are you still friends with this person? Or better yet if you choose to remain friends with her, why don't you just answer the phone "Laulob's complaint hotline. What is your complaint today?" And when she answers "What?" You tell her, you are always calling to complain about your day when are you going to call me and ask me how I am am or something relevant that doesn't include you moaning about your day.
Ha -My complaint hotline is limited to family only. I don't socialize with her or speak on the phone but our kids are in classes and scouts together so it's hard to avoid certain people you run into in the course of the day. She will however shout her running commentary to whoever she recognizes as she goes about - Sometimes it's actually quite funny, she's like a human news crawl. I think the OP couldn't understand what motivates people to take on responsibility when they constantly complain about how irksome it is. I think like my particular friend, that the drama is part of the motivation. I think she would enjoy making those cupcakes less if she couldn't complain about them and let everyone know the amount of effort that went into them.
Ha -My complaint hotline is limited to family only. I don't socialize with her or speak on the phone but our kids are in classes and scouts together so it's hard to avoid certain people you run into in the course of the day. She will however shout her running commentary to whoever she recognizes as she goes about - Sometimes it's actually quite funny, she's like a human news crawl. I think the OP couldn't understand what motivates people to take on responsibility when they constantly complain about how irksome it is. I think like my particular friend, that the drama is part of the motivation. I think she would enjoy making those cupcakes less if she couldn't complain about them and let everyone know the amount of effort that went into them.
I know people like that. Being a martyr is quintessential to their identity, and they really only take these things on in order to prove how "selfless" they are - doing all sorts of stuff that nobody asked for and then complaining how nobody appreciates their efforts. It's insufferable and draining to be friends with them.
Your sister's husband makes 20k less per year than your husband. She doesn't have the luxury to quit working.
You're making sacrifices at 70k, but they would barely make ends meet at 50k.
You have to let go of your jealousy. It sounds like she wishes she could stay home with her children.
I think you're confused. I am not jealous of her, she tells me that she is jelous of me. I have no jealousy towards her lifestyle. If that's what I wanted for my family that is what I would do.
She's worked like this and had income like this for near 10 years, through 2 husbands and now a second child. Her last husband made about $55,000 a year. She's only been married to her new husband a year and a half. If she didn't want to be the bread winner maybe she shouldn't have entered into another marriage where she is.
I just don't like the complaining and being told how "lucky" I am. Like I said, I get to be home to raise my kids but that's it. Also I have to do it all by myself a good amount of the time too. I've never once said to her "well you're so lucky because your husband isn't gone for months and years on end" or "your so lucky because no one tries to blow your husband up at work". lol
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It has nothing at all to do with being raised by a sahm or wohm mom, it has much more to do with family values and relationships. 
