Laundry Lists....... " I'm so busy"... (chores, child, married)
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That situation is not fun! we just sold our house after 2 years due to a relocation. I did look briefly, but it was impossible to find a job... we just had to sacrifice even more during that time. We are still trying to catch up from that huge loss.
I agree, there are people who thrive on being crazy busy-their choice.
I just can't stand to hear about it, people make choices to enroll their kids into thousands of activities and to run all over the place during the week,on the weekends,etc... but they made that choice. No one forced them to do so.
I just don't want to hear it all.....
what a good friend you are
Perhaps they want their kids to experience these activities but they don't like the running around that goes with it. That is a sacrifice they are making. If they pulled the kids out of all their activities, you'd fault them for that too, no doubt... putting work before their kids.
Oh, I certainly hope they do not grow up to be completely accepting of others... I have taught them better than that!
Now, you raise your children to be "completely accepting", but I'll teach my kids right from wrong - like lying is wrong, adultery is wrong, murder is wrong, child molestation is wrong - and the people who commit these things are sick individuals who you do not accept.
But you feel free to raise a "non judgmental" child.
I already did raise them
Yes, molesters, muderers, etc are all completely in the same ballpark as SAHM and working Moms.
Tell you what, you sit up there on your high horse thinking you are better than others and you know best. I'll sit way down here and relish in the wonderful successes of my adult sons and know that somewhere along the way, I did a thing or two right.
This thread is full of stereotypes. Kids of stay at home mom's are not brattier and neither are those of wahm. There can be bratty kids on both sides of the camp. There is really no need to generalize.
Totally agreed. These generalizations are so ridiculously extreme.
One time. Just one time, I want all the stay at home Moms to work full time AND do everything else. Better yet, be a single Mom and do it. No less then 50% of them will run crying back home and thank their lucky stars they don't have to work.
Yep... you're not judgemental at all. You've taught your boys to be completely accepting of others - and I'll bet they want to do everything JUST like you did, and they don't have things they'll try to improve on...
Oh - and I had time to think about something another poster posted - about how it's the moms of the 70s that went back to work. First, they didn't use daycare as prevalently as it's used today. They used family and alternating schedules more often.
And for arguments sake, let's say the products of those moms are in their 30s and 40s today... that would be about the age of the parents of these entitled kids now, right? So, perhaps daycare doesn't affect your childhood as badly as it affects your parenting.
One time. Just one time, I want all the stay at home Moms to work full time AND do everything else. Better yet, be a single Mom and do it. No less then 50% of them will run crying back home and thank their lucky stars they don't have to work.
Yep... you're not judgemental at all. You've taught your boys to be completely accepting of others - and I'll bet they want to do everything JUST like you did, and they don't have things they'll try to improve on...
Oh - and I had time to think about something another poster posted - about how it's the moms of the 70s that went back to work. First, they didn't use daycare as prevalently as it's used today. They used family and alternating schedules more often.
And for arguments sake, let's say the products of those moms are in their 30s and 40s today... that would be about the age of the parents of these entitled kids now, right? So, perhaps daycare doesn't affect your childhood as badly as it affects your parenting.
You and the poster you are quoting have both shown extreme judgement and have both come up with the most ridiculous stereotypes I have ever heard.
One time. Just one time, I want all the stay at home Moms to work full time AND do everything else. Better yet, be a single Mom and do it. No less then 50% of them will run crying back home and thank their lucky stars they don't have to work.
Yep... you're not judgemental at all. You've taught your boys to be completely accepting of others - and I'll bet they want to do everything JUST like you did, and they don't have things they'll try to improve on...
Oh - and I had time to think about something another poster posted - about how it's the moms of the 70s that went back to work. First, they didn't use daycare as prevalently as it's used today. They used family and alternating schedules more often.
And for arguments sake, let's say the products of those moms are in their 30s and 40s today... that would be about the age of the parents of these entitled kids now, right? So, perhaps daycare doesn't affect your childhood as badly as it affects your parenting.
I judge bitching SAHM's, like the OP who doesn't seem to have a grasp on reality.
One of the biggest compliments my kids ever gave me was that they will parent like me. I raised them old school style. No every kid gets a trophy, we keep score and you don't get rewarded for doing things you are supposed to do. There are things they would do differently, of course..starting with actually being fathers.
My oldest son coaches college. He has actually had parents call and yell at him because their child didn't make the team. College! He once said he couldn't understand why I would never just let him win when we were playing a game, now he understands why and thanked me for it.
In a perfect world, we can keep our kids in a bubble and nothing will ever hurt them. Mommy is home wearing her pearls and pulling fresh cookies out of the oven when you walk in the door after school, but that is not reality. My sons went without sometimes, they had some times of profound loss and sadness and as their Mother it killed me not to be able to kiss it all away. It has also helped make them spectacular grown men with real coping skills and a real appreciation for life and all it offers.
You and the poster you are quoting have both shown extreme judgement and have both come up with the most ridiculous stereotypes I have ever heard.
Here's the difference. I can, and actually have acknowledged that there are wonderful SAHM's. She refuses to do the same about working Moms and just keeps spouting off, so I will keep stereotyping right along with her.
I have 20 years experience of raising children through the school years. It is quite easy to spot "that Mom" now. The one who knows what is best all the time, sits on her horse and looks down. Her children spout snotty remarks they learned from their mother, but of course, they are the most well behaved. The one who every other Mom smiles and nods at her but as soon as she leaves they bang their head on the wall. That Mom? Yeah, I don't like her very much. And a lot of times...neither do her children.
I am glad this world is big enough for each couple to decide what is best for them.
In our case both my wife and I work. I am self-employed and I make a good income. The impetus for her going to work was that people who are self-employed struggle to obtain decent health insurance and to set up any kind of retirement. We both have risen in our respective occupations over the years. I make about 110K a year. She makes about 70K.
The young years with our children were tough at times. However, being self-employed, I had some flexibililty and I could stay home long enough to make breakfast and get the kids off to school. She could sometimes come early, so the kids usually had a parent home when they got back from school. Our children both attended an award winning pre-school from ages 3 to 5. Prior to age 3, I got alot of help from my parents sitting them. God bless my parents for this.
As our kids have gotten older, what we have done has proven to be ideal. We have the money to send our son to college--now that we are at the peak of our working careers. Our daughter is a very independent girl who gets to pick from a list of activities and friends to do things with after school.
Everyone has to choose what works best for their family. I don't regret our choices at all.
Here's the difference. I can, and actually have acknowledged that there are wonderful SAHM's. She refuses to do the same about working Moms and just keeps spouting off, so I will keep stereotyping right along with her.
If you honestly believe that there are good SAHMs then why stoop to that posters level and generalize SAHMs and say such offensive remarks about them as a whole? Doesn't that make you one of those divisive Mommies that you spoke of earlier?
BTW. I was thinking back to those people who I knew in college who ended up being coke heads, drunks and sluts and the main thing that they had in common was that their parents provided them with a lot of cash, very little attention and had low expectations of them overall. Most (not all) came from dual income wealthy families. It has nothing at all to do with being raised by a sahm or wohm mom, it has much more to do with family values and relationships.
Quote:
I have 20 years experience of raising children through the school years. It is quite easy to spot "that Mom" now. The one who knows what is best all the time, sits on her horse and looks down. Her children spout snotty remarks they learned from their mother, but of course, they are the most well behaved. The one who every other Mom smiles and nods at her but as soon as she leaves they bang their head on the wall. That Mom? Yeah, I don't like her very much. And a lot of times...neither do her children.
I have met that Mom and contrary to your prior assertion that my child is too young for me to have been indoctrinated into "Mommy world" I have. It starts early. I've had WOHMs look down their nose at me for being a SAHM. I've been judged for breastfeeding past the age of one, I've been judged for co-sleeping. The list can go on and on. It's not about SAHMs vs WOHMs because there are a******* on both sides of the fence. No matter what a mother chooses to do there will always be someone looking down on them from their high horse, judging.
Bottom line is, if it annoys you so much to be friends with someone who always seems to have a long line of excuses as to why they can't get anything done/spend time with you than either:
A) Find new friends
B) Evaluate what you may be doing/saying/how you are acting that is wanting them to put you so far down the priority list. Maybe you are coming across as needy.
Friendships change over the years. People move on, they find it easier to socialize with other parents directly involved in whatever activities their kids are in, etc. Someone might not want to spend the free time they do have getting together with friends, emailing, whatever.
It's a shame this turned into a SAHM vs working moms thread. I've actually been a SAHM since my son was born. Now I work part time from home. I have quite a bit of time on my hands, even after doing everything around the house. But I still don't use that time to go hangout with friends. For one thing, I don't want to spend the money, and for another thing, some of them can be draining to be around.....
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These generalizations are so ridiculously extreme.
It has nothing at all to do with being raised by a sahm or wohm mom, it has much more to do with family values and relationships. 